08/21/2025
My parents both passed away. My daddy gained his wings July 12 2024, and my mother followed November 12, 2024.
To say it has been a total cluster fck is an understatement.
I joined the next level in March. When I was litterally rock bottom in depression, no creativity, no energy, I felt I didn’t have anything left.
I’m in module 7 now. I’ve been slowly working on my health because as a caregiver and woman I naturally placed my self in the back seat to care for everyone else. My health had to scream in my face letting me know it was keeping a fckn count and couldn’t handle it anymore. Screaming “chingadamadre Cynthia ya parale a tu Pi**he pedo” “damnit Cynthia stop this m**o s**t now!!!”.
And mannnnnn did I stop, hysterectomy in December, led to all number of falling dominos of health issues that I’ve been feeling I’m playing whackamole at times. However, instead of stressing me out I’m glad. If I’ve learned anything from this journey has been everything is temporary, physical pain is temporary, but I AM NOT. No one can take care of me like me. My parents are no longer here physically but I AM. And i will be damned if I don’t push through all the s**t.
All that to say, grief is the biggest bitch I’ve ever met. Although Erika Cramer and Hamish program is built to help us show up and take up space, it’s helping me show up and bulldoze through grief and tackle the next task.
For now, a steady pace wins the race, I’m not trying to rush to the finish line but instead enjoy and embrace what I have and can do now while setting up my stage and foundation for the bigger than life dreams I still have.
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