Brave Heart Child & Family Counseling

11/21/2023

Sorry, I've been MAJORLY MIA here! In September, the leaseholder for my current office told me I would have to vacate the site by December 1 since he is not renewing his lease. Eek! It's been a whirlwind of looking for an office space for 2 months, then finally my friend and colleague were blessed to find an office suite together that worked for the both of us!! It's been a magical haha.

I'm not done yet but here's the progress on my new office!! I can't wait for the kids to all come in here and for magic and to happen. And I'll get back to posting more on here soon.

What do you all think so far?? 🙃❤️

09/16/2023

Finding the "just right" right fit therapist is a whole process. Did you know it actually makes a rather big difference?

Research says that the quality of the therapeutic relationship plays a 30% role in the outcome of the therapeutic process. In total, the therapist carries 45% of the power to positive impact the outcome. All together, the client carries 55% of the responsibility of shaping the therapeutic outcome, 40% is due to extra-therapeutic factors.

What are examples of each of these categories?

The therapeutic relationship (30%) is like the "chemistry" between two people, which should be pretty self explanatory. To have chemistry with someone determines whether you feel like someone can be approachable and trusting or not. The therapeutic technique (15%) refers to the theoretical orientation of the therapist and the types of interventions they use. Most therapists nowadays practice a combination of theories. There is no right or wrong theory to use, as long as it is effective. I find that the right approach is a combination of using the theory that works most naturally for myself as the therapist and finding the approach that the client is most developmentally and emotionally receptive to.

Extra-therapeutic factors (40%) are influences that clients experience outside of the therapy room. These include other supportive figures in their social network, their strengths and weaknesses, their physical and biological health, financial well-being, etc. Client expectations (15%) include the placebo effect of having access to therapy. For children, this includes the parents' expectation of the therapeutic process.

How do you find the right therapist? Stay tuned for a few tips helping guide your search. I'll even share my own experience finding a therapist, and I had both a bad one and a good one.

09/10/2023

I'm taking a bit of an easier write up for this week. Besides client needs and normal life things, I was thrown by the abrupt notice from my landlord earlier this week that he will not be renewing the lease for my office suite. He asked that my office mate and I move out after November so he can prepare the space for whoever the building owner chooses to rent the space to. I've only been in my current office since August 2022 so this move is disappointing. I thought I would be here longer than just one year. The tricky part about this move is my office mate and I are both play therapists. We share half of our materials. If it ends up that we cannot find a space that accommodate both of us, I will have to recreate a lot of therapy toys to use with my clients.

So, that's been taking up a lot of mental space, in addition to the whole process of finding a new office within budget.

As for this quote, I really admire . I find that his ideas often reflect play therapy principles and are more relatable for many who are not directly working in the therapy field.

I truly believe in having a village to raise a child. The child therapist or counselor is part of this village that helps parents to raise their child. Therapy is positive support and should not be stigmatized; it's merely a resource for families and parents to help this world become a better place.

Who's part of your village?

09/02/2023

With everything, there's a beginning and an end. In the next few posts, I wanted to focus on what the start of therapy looks like for kids. Specifically, how does a parent prepare your child for the start of therapy?

I often encourage parents to have open conversations with your child in an age appropriate manner about counseling. I find that when the child knows why they are there, progress takes place faster and in greater measures.

With the younger ones, I introduce myself to them as a feelings doctor, and I explain to them that just like they see their dentist or pediatrician to make sure their teeth and physical body stay healthy, a counselor or therapist helps them keep their feelings strong and healthy.

That first meeting when I meet the child can be nerve-racking for some kids. After all, this first meeting is when the child is meeting a new adult who is in a “power position” of someone like a doctor, in a new location, and most of the time, the kids are spending 50 minutes apart from their parents. So, while there are treatment goals and therapeutic interventions, I usually allow kids to lead the way in the first few sessions to establish the relationship and the . My objective in the beginning is for kids to become oriented to the , to understand the rules and boundaries of , and to become familiar with me and my role as a therapist. All of this is done through play, which is a child’s natural language.


A child can only heal after they feel safe to confront their emotions, and that healing process includes developing additional, healthy .

I'd love to hear your thoughts! Did anything surprise you about this process?

💜

08/30/2023

Around here, the school year is starting up next week. As families, parents, and kids go through another transition, it's natural to feel overwhelmed and unsettled and lost in all the changes. Here's a short grounding exercise I like to practice with all my kiddo clients and the parents. It's sort of like a game of I Spy, except with all your senses.

Are you ready? Take a few deep, slow breaths, and here we go....

Counting down from 5...
- Name 5 things that you see. Look around your room and just observe what there is. Try not to judge the mess and simply notice.
- Name 4 things that you feel. Try to notice 4 things that you are already touching right now, like your clothes, hair, shoes, chair, carpet, etc.
- Name 3 things that you hear. Take your time with this one! Sometimes it's difficult.
- Name 2 things that you smell, or that you would like to smell.
- Name 1 thing that you taste, or you would like to taste.

There you go! How does your body feel now after the exercise? Try this with your kids at home and see what they notice that they didn't notice before.

08/29/2023

I work with kids, ages 4 and up. Kids and are my cup of tea! Kids are as complex and dimensional as adults in their own unique way, and I strive to help them know how to better express themselves to those around them. One of the differences of being a kid (vs an adult) is that lack of control of their situation and limited life experience and resources in order to appropriately handle negative experiences. For instance, don't like one of the people at a family gathering? The child can't choose to leave the get together - they don't have a car or a way to phone someone to pick them up.
Now, there doesn't have to be a traumatic experience or significant event that happened for a child and family to find their way to . Oftentimes, the child just needs another safe adult and safe, neutral space to figure out what's going inside their minds (hey, don't we adults need that too?).
Ultimately, therapy isn't a bad thing. It doesn't mean something is "wrong" with your child. Therapy is a way to alleviate stress on the overall family system and support you in raising your child. Therapy for your child is not only an investment in your child's well-being, but also in your own parental in that you are introduced to new ways of parenting and relating to your child.

08/29/2023

Do you ever find that you ask your kids (or friends) "how's your day?" only to find them to give you one word answer that ends the conversation?

Here's the thing - our days, our weeks, are so incredibly busy. If an adult has a tough time articulating how their day was, imagine how tricky that must be for a child! Sometimes there simply has been too many things that happened, making it too complicated to share and/or express what really happened during our day. It's so much easier to provide that simple one word answer and not dive into in more.

So, instead of asking my kiddos "How are you?" at the start of sessions, I ask them "What was your highlight of your past week? What was your low point or challenging moments from this past week?"

I usually start with those two questions. As a parent, I'd ask my child further questions to encourage them in their character growth. I'd also get curious about "Who were you kind to today that made you proud? Tell me about a growth opportunity moment that you had today? What are some things you are grateful for today?"

Each of these questions encourage reflection and can show us parents a snippet of our child internal world and their experience that day. Try out these questions! These little moments of meaningful connection accumulate and strengthen the parent child .

(P.S. Don't forget to let your child pause and respond to one question before asking them the next one!)

What do you think? How else do you find helps to reconnect with your kids, friends, and family? I'd love to hear your ideas in the comments.

08/21/2023

A little about the backstory to the name of my therapy practice: 🙃

Ever since I started in the mental health field in 2015, I've been drawn to working with the kids who are overlooked, misunderstood, and/or often don't get a voice. As I honed in on my passions and the I wanted to work with, the phrase "courage, dear heart" from C.S. Lewis' book Voyage of the Dawn Treader stuck in my mind for a long time.

It takes courage to confront and acknowledge one's own feelings in our lived experiences and situations. Play therapy is work; in a safe space with a safe adult allows for children to process and understand their situations. I hope to provide that safe space for children to fully express their emotions, understand their situations, and discover and integrate healthier coping skills and ways to express their needs to those around them. I hope to be the in the room for these little ones so they can bring more peace out into their lives and their circles of influences.

So, be brave, little hearts that I have the privilege of holding space for and with. Be brave, so you and the rest of us can heal. 💜

07/29/2023

Hi! I'd like to officially introduce myself on here. My name is Belinda Lee, and I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist in and a . I specialize in providing therapy to kids ages 4-13, especially regarding concerns of and emotional outbursts, , and more, and providing parenting skills to support the entire family system.

On a more personal side, I'm a first generation American and am in Mandarin Chinese. One of my many goals is changing the AAPI narrative of the model minority who doesn't need mental health care. We are all human, regardless of race and ethnicity, culture, skin color, our role in our families, etc. We each have needs and a unique story to tell!

Find more info on the website: www.braveheartcounselingsd.com!

09/11/2022

Hello! I am so glad you are here.

If your child frequently has big emotions or have recently experienced a significant life change, I can provide hope and support for your family to discover a different new normal. Through play therapy and tools that I offer, I help your child develop emotional awareness to empower them to express themselves in a healthier manner with those around them.

I am particularly passionate about helping kids know that they are not alone in their emotions, especially those who are struggling with anger, anxiety, and perfectionism, exploring their cultural and ethnic identity, and/or have experienced grief and loss and/or medical trauma.

Visit my website www.braveheartcounselingsd.com to address any questions you might have, or you can call at or email me to schedule a free initial consultation.

I look forward to connecting!

Warmly,
Belinda Lee

𝐼 𝑎𝑚 𝑎 𝑙𝑖𝑐𝑒𝑛𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑟𝑖𝑎𝑔𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑓𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑝𝑖𝑠𝑡 (𝐿𝑀𝐹𝑇 #121127) 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑎 𝑟𝑒𝑔𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑝𝑖𝑠𝑡 𝑖𝑛 𝑆𝑎𝑛 𝐷𝑖𝑒𝑔𝑜, 𝐶𝐴.

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