Connected-Couples with Nicole Van Ness, PsyD, LMFT

01/15/2026

Something I see daily is just how s*xy accountability is! Many people get stuck in defensiveness and find it difficult to be fully accountable for their own side of things. But taking responsibility for your own side does not mean accepting defeat. Both sides can have both valid claims and mistakes.

Taking responsibility isn't about being perfect.

It's about being honest when we mess up.

Most relationship conflicts escalate because we defend instead of owning our part.

These phrases aren't scripts to memorize.

They're examples of what real accountability sounds like when you're committed to your partnership over being right.

Like this if you needed to hear it today and follow for more real talk on relationships.

06/25/2025

07/23/2019

08/03/2018

Hope you can make it to this workshop - it will be a great time!

09/09/2017

Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing;
a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished.
—Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

08/06/2017

What would you do?

Cheers to you Heineken! Everyone should raise a glass to the famous beer company...

06/28/2017

Yesterday I heard Nicole Van Ness Sheppard, Psy.D., Speak about her research on women’s erotic lives. In her work she asked women to answer several questions, including:

06/25/2017

Want to keep your brain fit and healthy even when your hairs are all gray? Well, dim the lights and get that bed frame creaking. Researchers from Coventry

04/30/2017

Great examples to demonstrate consent

Well, this is all a very brilliant way to show what it's all about.

03/11/2017

For all of you who aren't sure, it is possible to be gay and Christian. It's also possible to believe in God and science. It is possible to be pro-choice and anti-abortion.
It is equally possible to be a feminist and love and respect men. It's possible to have privilege and be discriminated against, to be poor and have a rich life, to not have a job and still have money. It is possible to be anti guns and still believe in one's right to defend one's self, family, and property, it's possible to be anti-war and pro-military.
It is possible to love thy neighbor and despise his actions. It is possible to advocate Black Lives Matter and still be pro police. It is possible to not have an education and be brilliant. It is possible to be Muslim and also suffer at the hands of terrorists. It is possible to be a non-American fighting for the American dream.
It is possible to be different and the same.
We are all walking contradictions of what "normal" looks like. Let humanity and love win.
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From The Rev. Gayle Fisher-Stewart