Dr. Jill Cooley, PhD

12/19/2023

08/19/2023

I heard one of my favorite neuroscientists, Dr Lisa Feldman-Barrett, say this in a recent podcast. It makes complete sense in light of her theory of constructed emotions. Relationships matter, and they matter not just for children, but for the parents as well. Parents need more support and so do teachers in order to provide care for developing nervous systems. ❣️ #brainbodyparenting

Alt Text: A mom sitting outside with her son on the ground, with a little bike behind them. Both are smiling. The overlay text reads: We are caretakers of our child's nervous systems until they can take care of their own.

05/26/2023

Great visual and phrases….what’s your favorite?via Flourishing Homes & Families

Via Flourishing Homes & Families ❤️

02/20/2023

We need to import this critical fact into parenting, preschools, childcare, education, and mental health. Co-regulation is noticing, then attuning to a child's or another person's emotional needs and helping them feel better. It's an active process that involves a bunch of trial and error. It's not just staying calm while a child melts down. And it's rocket fuel for future resilience.

02/14/2023

On this Valentine’s week, we hope you know you are loved.

12/03/2022

When you should throw those sticker charts away.

10/22/2022

Parents, there are many of us in the field shifting the paradigm for how we treat children. It is a slow process. But our small humans need it now. (Let’s be real, all humans need it now.)

Every day, our most vulnerable humans, like foster children, behaviorally challenged children, misunderstood neurodivergent children/teens are subjected to outdated approaches based on rewards and consequences. These approaches are contraindicated in ALL situations, & especially in trauma informed and trauma responsive care, and it can lead to masking and camouflaging one's authentic self. Parents, know you have choices, providers and teachers, please advocate for change.

09/01/2022

So often we personalize our children's behaviour. When we realize their behaviour is simply them expressing a need or lack of a skill that needs to be taught we stop responding with shame, anger, or panic; and instead parent from a place of intention.

07/25/2022

Via Jain💙

04/21/2022

“If we open up every conversation we can. And remember, when the issues appear, not to dismiss them or bat them away.”

THE KIDS ARE NOT ALRIGHT…
But they will be.

They have been through something we have not.
At a time when their development needed so much more, they had nothing.
No interaction, no socialisation.
They learned to live with that.
And then they learned to re-enter society.
It was tricky for us but for them, without the skills we have, it was much worse.
We are seeing mental fall-out.
Anxiety, depression, arrested development.
And it is vital, VITAL, that we understand resilience is not appearing to cope well, it is healing.
Being able to thrash out the darkness with light.
Not covering it over with sand, like a spill in a playground.

Anyone can appear strong but only the healed truly are.

So, the kids are not alright, no.
But they will be.
If we open up every conversation we can.
And remember, when the issues appear, not to dismiss them or bat them away.
They are real.
They are issues born of a situation we did not experience as a child.
So we don’t know better.

We can only try to understand, listen and not judge.

And if we do that, the kids will be alright my friend,
they’ll be alright.

Donna Ashworth
Art by the amazing Lucy Campbell

My new book ‘I Wish I knew’ https://www.bookdepository.com/I-Wish-I-Knew/9781785303791

04/07/2022

Great opportunity to practice a perspective shift, from GoZen: Anxiety Relief for Children

For all the parents out there ❤️ give yourself some love.

03/04/2022

Important reminder ❤️