12/19/2025
This morning started with sibling conflict, which led to almost two hours of me being on high alert as I tried to prevent more from happening. By the time we left for school, I was out of energy and patience and feeling pretty grumpy. Luckily, the bike ride helped me calm down and reset (and it always helps the kids, too!)
There are a couple of important points I want to highlight here:
1. Parental bandwidth is finite.
Running out of patience doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with us, or that we’re doing a bad job. We’re human—and caring for PDA or neurodivergent kids can be incredibly demanding. It’s normal to run out of bandwidth. When we can recognize that it’s happening and respond with kindness and self-compassion, we can also start to notice patterns and make changes that help us avoid getting stuck in this really hard place as often.
2. Being on high alert is exhausting—and it’s usually reactive.
Living in a constant state of vigilance takes a huge toll. A lot of my work with parents focuses on identifying proactive strategies that reduce how often families end up there. This isn’t about criticism or guilt—sometimes reactive parenting is the only option while you’re still finding the right supports and resources. And even with proactive strategies, it will still happen sometimes. But small, thoughtful changes add up, and every bit of work toward what supports your family truly matters.
What drains your bandwidth the fastest right now?