Faith Deeter Get All Your Relationships Right

Home
United States
Santa Ynez, CA
Faith Deeter Get All Your Relationships Right

Master all of your relationships. What are natural principles? Natural principles come from nature and have been a part of our makeup from the beginning of time.

No matter what type of relationship you’re in, whether it’s parent/child, romantic, or work-related, your relationship is governed by natural principles because, YOU are governed by natural principles and so is everyone else. Similar to instincts, these principles tend to govern the way human beings behave. They are underlying factors as to why we feel happy, fulfilled, anxious, or lonely. By understanding what is natural for a person, you can work in harmony with them. When we don’t understand what is natural, we are more likely to make mistakes. For almost twenty years, people have been coming to me when they need help. They come when their spouse is leaving them, when their kids won’t listen, or when they are unhappy in their life and need a change. The way I help every person is unique to their situation, but the paradigm I use is always the same. I use Natural Principles. It is my hope that by sharing these principles with you, you will have a road map that can keep your relationships strong as well as guide you in knowing what to adjust when you run into trouble.

02/24/2026

📣 NEW COURSE: Never Fight Again
What if conflict didn’t have to tear you apart — but could actually bring you closer?
Most people were never taught how to resolve disagreements in a healthy way. So we yell. Or shut down. Or give in…
It doesn’t have to be that way.
In my self-study course Never Fight Again, I’ll show you exactly how to:
✅ Stay calm during conflict
✅ Be heard without fighting
✅ Repair trust after an argument
✅ Set boundaries without guilt
✅ And finally feel safe and respected in your relationship
This isn’t talk therapy. It’s a practical, step-by-step process based on what I’ve taught for 25+ years as a licensed marriage and family therapist.
You go at your own pace. And you don’t have to wait for the other person to change.
Real peace starts with new skills. And you can learn them.
14 videos
💻 Enroll now and get instant access: https://f.mtr.cool/zkjalcosma

02/23/2026

If you’ve ever believed strong people don’t need reassurance, think again. That belief can not only be wrong — it can be dangerous. Strength doesn’t mean someone always feels secure; it just means they’ve learned how to keep going even when they’re not. How many of you reading right now know exactly what I’m talking about?
The truth is, everyone — even the strongest among us — loses confidence sometimes. Everyone doubts their worth, feels unseen, or quietly wonders if what they do matters. Some people don’t show it readily. They hold it together, and in doing so, they often go unseen themselves.
I’ve worked with people who looked confident, capable, successful, and fine on the outside — and later learned they were carrying unbearable pain. Sometimes, heartbreakingly, people don’t reach out because they think they’re supposed to “handle it all.” That’s why it’s so important not to assume someone is okay. Ask. Check in. Tell them they matter. Give more reassurance than you think they need.
The truth is, reassurance doesn’t weaken strength — it sustains it.
Learn how to strengthen every relationship you have — by creating safety, connection, and confidence — at NaturalRelationships.com.

02/21/2026

Have you ever agreed to something you didn’t want to do—just to keep the peace—only to feel
resentful later? Or held back your true feelings until they boiled over? That’s what happens
when boundaries are unclear. Without them, relationships drift into frustration or distance.

Pat Parelli often says, “Horses need love, language, and leadership in equal doses.” A horse
doesn’t learn to respect your space through punishment, but through clarity and consistency.
When you calmly hold your space, the horse relaxes and trust grows.

The same is true with people. Boundaries aren’t rejection and they certainly aren’t punishment.
Boundaries are respect in action - mutual respect because they go both ways. Boundaries say:
“This is what I need to stay healthy, connected, and safe with you and I will do the same in
return.”

Without boundaries, resentment builds. But with clear, consistent limits, trust strengthens.
People know where they stand, and honesty has room to thrive.

If you want a step-by-step program that shows you how to set boundaries with kindness and
clarity—so you strengthen connection instead of losing it—you’ll find it at
NaturalRelationships.com.

02/20/2026

It might sound impossible, but it’s true:
You can shift a relationship without the other person changing at all.
When you change how you show up — your tone, timing, boundaries, posture, even your beliefs — the whole dynamic begins to respond.
Because relationships aren’t static. They’re not fixed traits or roles. They’re living systems — and systems respond to change.
This idea isn’t just personal experience. It’s backed by systems theory in psychology and family therapy: when one part of a system changes, the rest of the system has to adapt. That means your behavior alone can start a chain reaction.
I’ve seen it again and again — not just in human relationships, but with animals too. When I work with horses, I don’t try to change their personality. I change my energy, my cues, my expectations. And almost every time, the horse responds.
The same thing happens with people.
You don’t have to wait for someone else before progress can begin. You can start by shifting your part of the equation.
Sometimes the smallest change — a pause, a boundary, a softer tone — can create a completely different result.
So here’s the question:
What’s one thing you could do differently today that might change the dynamic?

02/19/2026

Have you ever poured endless energy into trying to “fix” someone else, only to feel drained and discouraged?
Here’s the truth: you can’t change another person. What you can have is influence—not control. And the most powerful influence you have is through how you show up.
Research on systems theory shows that changing one part of a relationship system can shift the entire dynamic (Bowen). That means when you change your behavior—your tone, your boundaries, your emotional regulation—the relationship starts to move in response.
Control tries to force change. Influence invites it. Control triggers resistance. Influence builds trust.
Instead of asking, “How do I make them change?” try asking, “What can I adjust in myself to change the pattern?” That question moves you from frustration to empowerment.
When you focus on your own growth, you lead by example. You stop the tug-of-war and start creating balance. The energy you once spent trying to manage someone else becomes energy that strengthens the relationship itself.
To learn how to create healthy change through influence, not control, visit NaturalRelationships.com.

02/18/2026

Vulnerability can be uncomfortable — but it's really about authenticity. When we pretend, perform, or protect too much, we can keep things smooth… but not real. And without real, there's no depth.
Vulnerability doesn't mean spilling everything or losing boundaries. It means being honest about who you actually are. It means letting someone see what's true, even if it's not polished or perfect. It's choosing authenticity over image management.
This kind of realness might feel risky at first. But here's what happens: when you show up authentically, you give others permission to do the same. Your willingness to be genuine creates space for them to drop their masks too. That's where real connection can grow.
Every strong relationship has this kind of authenticity at its core — the willingness to be seen as you really are, not as you think you should be.
What's one moment when being vulnerable and authentic actually brought someone closer?

02/16/2026

If you’ve ever been told that forgiving means forgetting, you’re not alone — but forgetting isn’t required for forgiveness. That’s not forgiveness; that’s amnesia.
Forgiveness doesn’t erase what happened. It releases you from being tied to it. You can forgive something and still remember the lesson. In fact, healthy forgiveness remembers wisely. It says, “I see it clearly, and I choose to move on.”
People often confuse forgiveness with permission — as if forgiving means saying the behavior was okay. It doesn’t. Forgiveness simply means you’re choosing to move forward in spite of it — like forgiving a loan. It’s released. It’s let go.
Relationships are dynamic — always moving, always shifting. If we stay anchored to what already happened, we can’t adjust to what’s happening now. Real forgiveness keeps you present — remembering what was, but flexible enough to fit the moment you’re in.
When I worked in a prison, I used to say, “This is where you are; this is not who you are.” The past doesn’t equal the future unless we keep repeating it.
I had to learn that lesson myself. During my cancer treatment, I later found out I’d been radiated even after my scan came back clear. I had to face forgiveness on multiple levels — which was extremely hard and took me a long, long time. I had to forgive myself for not knowing what questions to ask. I had to forgive the technology for not being as advanced as it is today. And I had to choose to shift from grief — over the damage that was done — to gratitude that the cancer never came back. To stop replaying the what-ifs I’ll never know the answers to, and start appreciating that I’m still here today.
In nature, when a wound heals, it often leaves a scar. The scar can remind us how not to get hurt again — and that scar tissue is usually stronger than what was there before. The same is true in relationships. Healing doesn’t make things perfect, but it can make them resilient.
And remember, people aren’t perfect. They’ll make mistakes again — just like you and me. Sometimes it’s not betrayal; it’s being human. Like falling off a horse, you learn what happened and make an educated choice whether to get back on — or not.
The truth is, you don’t have to forget to move forward. You can remember, stay present, and choose peace.
Learn a step-by-step process for repairing and releasing — without losing your boundaries — at NaturalRelationships.com.

02/14/2026

Have you ever found yourself having the same argument over and over again? The words might
change, but the pattern stays the same—raised voices, defensiveness, and no real resolution.
It’s frustrating because we keep thinking, if I just say it louder, maybe this time they’ll get it. But
more pressure doesn’t create more understanding.

In horsemanship, Ray Hunt put it simply: “Fix it up, and let the horse find it.” If something isn’t
working, the answer isn’t to push harder—it’s to adjust. Sometimes that means changing the
smallest thing: your timing, your feel, or your own position. And those tiny shifts can change
everything.

The same is true in relationships. Instead of repeating the same words, try a softer tone. Instead
of confronting in the heat of the moment, wait for calm. Instead of defending, ask a question.

You don’t always need an overhaul. Often times, a small adjustment is all it takes.

If you want a step-by-step program that helps you shift relationship patterns in small but
powerful ways, piece by piece, you’ll find it at NaturalRelationships.com.

02/13/2026

Getting triggered doesn’t mean you’re broken or doing something wrong. It means something important is happening — and your nervous system wants you to pay attention.
Sometimes, a trigger is a sign of unresolved pain. A reminder of an old wound that still needs care.
Other times, it’s a signal that your boundaries are being crossed right now.
Both are valid.
The key is to pause and listen before reacting. Ask yourself:
Is this reminding me of something from the past?
Or is this a cue that something happening right now isn’t okay with me?
You don’t need to ignore triggers, and you don’t need to obey them blindly either. You need to understand them.
That might mean doing some healing work. It might also mean saying “no,” speaking up, or stepping away.
Your triggers aren’t the enemy. They’re messengers.
And when you listen with clarity — not shame — they can help you grow and protect yourself at the same time.
So the next time you get triggered, ask:
What is this trying to tell me?

02/12/2026

It’s a fine line between asking for what you want and criticizing what you don’t—and that line can make or break how the other person responds.
A request is future-focused and actionable. A complaint is past-focused and critical.
“You never call” is a complaint.
“Could you call me after work this week?” is a request.
Research on conflict shows that couples who frame needs as requests rather than complaints are far more likely to stay connected and avoid escalation (Gottman).
If you want change, make it easy for the other person to know what to do, not just what you don’t want.
Requests build bridges. Complaints build walls.
When you speak up today, listen to your words. Are you building a bridge or a barrier?
To learn how to ask for what you want without triggering defensiveness, visit NaturalRelationships.com.

02/11/2026

It feels good to try to help someone, and there's nothing wrong with supporting the people we care about. But there's a difference between healthy support and using someone else's problems as a way to avoid doing our own work.
Sometimes, the urge to fix someone else is really about avoiding something in ourselves. Their mess is just easier to focus on than our own. It may give us a sense of accomplishment and purpose while keeping us safely distant from whatever we're not ready to face in our own lives.
But here's the truth: healing ourselves doesn't come from "fixing" other people. Other people don't need to be fixed. Our own growth comes from being honest about what's actually happening inside of us. Our own work — the uncomfortable conversations, the patterns we need to change in ourselves, the dreams we've been putting off — that's where our real transformation lives.
The good news is, when we stop trying to manage someone else's process, we finally get to face our own. The energy we've been pouring into their transformation can finally go toward our own growth.
What's one thing you've been avoiding in yourself by putting all your energy into someone else?

Address

Santa Ynez, CA

Website

https://faithdeeter.com/

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Faith Deeter Get All Your Relationships Right posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Shortcuts

Want your practice to be the top-listed Clinic in Santa Ynez?