Faith Deeter Get All Your Relationships Right

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Faith Deeter Get All Your Relationships Right

Master all of your relationships. What are natural principles? Natural principles come from nature and have been a part of our makeup from the beginning of time.

No matter what type of relationship you’re in, whether it’s parent/child, romantic, or work-related, your relationship is governed by natural principles because, YOU are governed by natural principles and so is everyone else. Similar to instincts, these principles tend to govern the way human beings behave. They are underlying factors as to why we feel happy, fulfilled, anxious, or lonely. By understanding what is natural for a person, you can work in harmony with them. When we don’t understand what is natural, we are more likely to make mistakes. For almost twenty years, people have been coming to me when they need help. They come when their spouse is leaving them, when their kids won’t listen, or when they are unhappy in their life and need a change. The way I help every person is unique to their situation, but the paradigm I use is always the same. I use Natural Principles. It is my hope that by sharing these principles with you, you will have a road map that can keep your relationships strong as well as guide you in knowing what to adjust when you run into trouble.

12/15/2025

If you’ve ever felt like you should “just say how you feel,” you’re not alone — but saying how you feel doesn’t always make things better. Depending on how, when, and why you say them, sometimes it makes things worse.
Your feelings are always valid. They’re yours. But how you share them can come across as blame:
“When you do X, I feel Y.”
That may be true — but a different person might not feel the same way in the same situation. Our feelings are unique to us. That’s why it’s important to take responsibility for your emotions rather than stating them like a verdict.
Before sharing, ask yourself: What am I hoping to accomplish?
If you want to create change, what if you skip the emotional buildup and go straight to the request? You don’t have to say, “I’m hungry” to say, “Can we make dinner?”
However, if what you want is for your feelings to be ACKNOWLEDGED, it often helps to come right out and say so. “Can you please just understand how I feel?”
Sharing feelings with the goal to unload them is venting — and while that can feel good, it may weigh others down.
So while it’s important to not bottle up feelings, it’s also important to not share them without some sort of intention. Share them on purpose — with clarity about what you want to come from it.
If you want to learn how to express emotions in ways that bring people closer together, visit me at NaturalRelationships.com.

12/13/2025

One of the biggest mistakes we make in relationships is expecting people to be where we want
them to be, rather than where they are.
We may want them to already know how to communicate better.
We may want them to already respect our boundaries.
We may want them to already handle conflict with patience.

But here’s the saying: “Start where they are, not where you wish they were.”

In horsemanship, real progress always begins with meeting the horse at their current level, in
the moment that they are in. If you push for more than they can give in that moment, frustration
builds on both sides. But if you meet them where they are — and ask for small, achievable
steps — trust grows and progress happens more naturally.

People aren’t so different. This doesn’t mean lowering your standards or giving up on growth. It
means honoring the process — one step at a time — and recognizing that sustainable progress
is built in stages and often very slow.

If you want a step-by-step program that helps you create progress and partnership—without
pressure or frustration—you’ll find it at NaturalRelationships.com.

12/12/2025

It’s easy to confuse the two.
When someone lashes out or oversteps, you might wonder:
“Was I too sensitive?”
“Did I cause this?”
“Maybe I just need to be more understanding…”
But here’s the truth:
You didn’t make them yell.
You didn’t make them lie.
You didn’t make them do anything.
We are each responsible for our own behavior.
Your behavior is yours.
Their behavior is theirs.
And you are always responsible for what you do next.
Do you excuse it? Justify it? Stay silent and hope it changes?
Or do you speak up? Step back? Set a limit?
You’re not responsible for another person’s actions, but you are responsible for your own nervous system, your energy, and your sense of safety.
Every time you ignore your own boundary, your body knows it. Your nervous system tenses. Your confidence shrinks. Your trust erodes — not just in the other person, but in yourself.
I’ve seen this so many times in both people and horses.
If a horse crowds your space and you don’t protect it — the horse assumes that space is theirs.
If a person crosses a line and you say nothing — they might assume it’s not a line at all.
Boundaries aren’t punishments. They’re instructions.
They don’t control others — they clarify you.
So instead of trying to manage someone else’s behavior, ask:
What do I need to feel safe, clear, and self-respecting right now?
That’s where your power lives.
What’s one boundary you’ve honored lately — even if it was hard?

12/11/2025

Ever said something in the heat of the moment you instantly wished you could take back? That’s reacting—it’s fast, fiery, and often regretted. Responding, on the other hand, is slower and thoughtful. It’s choosing your words and actions instead of letting adrenaline choose for you.
Here’s the science: when we’re triggered, the amygdala (our internal alarm) can override the prefrontal cortex (our rational brain), making us more likely to lash out. The solution is space—time between the trigger and the action.
A proven method is the pause. Even a deep breath can bring your rational brain back online.
Another strategy is reframing. Instead of, “They’re disrespecting me,” try, “They’re stressed.” It doesn’t excuse behavior, but it shifts you from defensiveness to choice.
It’s like riding a horse: if you jerk the reins, you create tension. But if your hands stay steady and your intent clear, the horse is much more likely to follow your lead. People respond similarly.
Reacting may feel powerful in the moment, but it often disrupts the other person’s nervous system—pushing them toward fight or flight. When someone feels attacked, they can’t connect. Responding keeps both nervous systems calm, creating the safety that builds trust, respect, and lasting influence.
If you’d like to learn step-by-step tools for staying calm, clear, and connected—visit NaturalRelationships.com.

12/10/2025

If you want people to trust you, let them hear your no.
It may be easy to think that saying no will make people upset, disappointed, or cause them to pull away.
But the opposite is often true — as long as it’s said with courtesy and respect.
People can trust what’s honest.
They can trust what’s consistent.
They can trust someone who doesn’t say yes when they really mean no.
If you always agree just to keep the peace or avoid conflict, others may initially like it because it feels good — but over time, they won’t be able to fully trust you.
Trust grows from honesty and from knowing where you stand.
So if the opportunity to say no presents itself, remember: saying no doesn’t reject the relationship — it often strengthens it, as long as it’s done in a clear, straightforward way.
It tells the truth about what’s real, what’s possible, and what you’re actually able to give.
Have you ever trusted someone more because they told you no?
Chances are, someone will trust you more for the same reason.
What do you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

12/09/2025

📣 NEW COURSE: Never Fight Again
What if conflict didn’t have to tear you apart — but could actually bring you closer?
Most people were never taught how to resolve disagreements in a healthy way. So we yell. Or shut down. Or give in…
It doesn’t have to be that way.
In my self-study course Never Fight Again, I’ll show you exactly how to:
✅ Stay calm during conflict
✅ Be heard without fighting
✅ Repair trust after an argument
✅ Set boundaries without guilt
✅ And finally feel safe and respected in your relationship
This isn’t talk therapy. It’s a practical, step-by-step process based on what I’ve taught for 25+ years as a licensed marriage and family therapist.
You go at your own pace. And you don’t have to wait for the other person to change.
Real peace starts with new skills. And you can learn them.
14 videos
💻 Enroll now and get instant access: https://f.mtr.cool/zkjalcosma

12/08/2025

If you’ve ever heard, “Never go to bed angry,” you’re not alone — but whoever said that must’ve been very tired.
Sometimes the best thing you can do for your relationship is go to sleep. Not to avoid the problem, but to avoid saying something you’ll regret.
When emotions run high, logic runs low. You can’t reason when your nervous system’s on fire. Sleep gives your brain time to reset — and perspective time to return.
The goal isn’t to avoid sleeping angry; it’s to avoid staying angry. You can wake up rested, calmer, and ready to repair instead of reload.
So if you ever find yourself in a midnight standoff, it’s okay to say, “Let’s talk about this some more in the morning.”
The truth is, rest sometimes repairs faster than words.
Learn how to resolve conflict naturally at NaturalRelationships.com.

12/06/2025

Do you set the scene for success or do you accidentally set people up to fail?
It can happen more than we realize. We ask for too much all at once. Or we ask in a way that’s
not helpful — through criticism, complaints, or vague hints. Then when the other person falls
short, it can feel like proof that they don’t care. But the truth is, most people want to succeed in
their relationships.

That’s where the horsemanship saying comes in: “Set it up and let it happen.”

If your request is clear, doable, and respectful — the odds of success go way up. But if your
“ask” feels like a moving target, too hard, or disguised criticism, most people will shrink instead
of shine.

In horsemanship, this principle means you don’t push the outcome. Instead, you set the stage.
You shape the environment so the choice you want is doable. You guide, and without
pressuring, you allow your horse to find the answer. That’s how real learning and trust grows.

Relationships work in a similar way. Set the stage with clarity, with an environment where
success feels possible instead of impossible. When you do, trust and cooperation grow naturally
— without micromanaging. And of course, if you get the outcome you were hoping for, say thank
you. Praise is the elixir of motivation.

If you want a step-by-step program that shows you how to guide others with clarity, patience,
and trust, visit NaturalRelationships.com.

12/05/2025

Here's something odd I noticed...
Most people spend YEARS perfecting the art of fighting with the people they care about.
They get really, really good at:
Bringing up old stuff during arguments
Using guilt trips
Knowing exactly which buttons to push for maximum effect
Perfecting the silent treatment
But here's the thing...
Most people are never taught there is a simple and surprisingly easy way to SOLVE conflict.
It's like learning to drive by only practicing how to crash.
Last week, a client told me:
"We used to fight for hours and get nowhere. Now when something comes up, we handle it in 10 minutes and our conflicts are becoming few and far between."
That's what happens when you learn tools that actually WORK instead of just getting better at dysfunction.
The truth? Relationship problems aren't usually because people are incompatible and they are almost never because people don't care.
They're because most people use the wrong tools because they were never taught the right ones.
My "Never Fight Again" online course teaches you the same simple, surprisingly easy systems I use with horses - except it is much easier with humans because humans communicate with words.
Learn to stop being an expert at fighting and start being an expert at connecting, and learn it in as little as 2 hours time.
https://f.mtr.cool/zlcrnboiwe
P.S. - If you're thinking "but we barely fight anymore..." that's probably because one of you gave up trying. That's not harmony - that's resignation. There's a better way.

12/04/2025

It’s hard when people we care about get divided over opinions or beliefs. Whether it’s politics, parenting, or personal values—it can feel heartbreaking to watch closeness slip away. But we don’t have to lose connection just because we lose agreement.
Disagreement doesn’t have to mean disconnection. When handled well, it can build trust. The goal isn’t to win—it’s to understand and be understood. When both people feel respected, even strong differences can deepen the bond.
Start by separating the person from the issue. You may not agree with their opinion, but you can still value them. Saying, “I see it differently, but I respect how you see it,” creates space for both perspectives. Respect keeps the relationship intact even when views don’t align.
Tone is everything. If your words carry attack or sarcasm, the other person will feel it. It’s like working with a horse: when pressure is too harsh or unclear, you don’t get cooperation—you get confusion or panic. The horse isn’t fighting you; they’re trying to feel safe. People are similar. When your energy is balanced, it invites trust.
And if emotions rise, pause. That’s not avoidance—it’s protection. Step back, breathe, and come back when calm returns.
If you’d like step-by-step tools to stay connected—even when you disagree—you’ll find them at NaturalRelationships.com.

12/03/2025

Numbing is often a survival strategy. Sometimes it hurts to feel too much, so we reach for distraction, detachment, or a little extra distance from our own emotions.
But the hard truth is: we can’t selectively numb. When we push down pain, we also dull our access to joy, excitement, love, and peace.
Feeling deeply isn’t a flaw. It’s a part of being fully alive. The goal isn’t to avoid pain — unfortunately, that’s not possible. But it is possible to build the capacity to experience pain, move through it, and come out the other side — sometimes tired, sometimes emotionally beat up, but still standing, with renewed possibility for what lies ahead.
Have you ever gone through something painful, and only later realized you had room for joy again?

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