Mai Elements, 17801 International Blvd (2026)

16/02/2026

I took a vow on my 38th birthday. For the first time, I wanted to try living, rather than just being an elite expert at not dying.

As the sun return for another year, I looked back on 2025 and realized it was the year I finally resigned from the war.

I have always thought healing meant becoming more capable of handling pain. I was obsessed with resilience. I thought if I could just get stronger, tougher, and more “healed,” the pain would finally stop. But I was trapped in a devastating loop: there is no end to the pursuit of handling pain, because life will always provide it, because pain is a part of life.

The shock was realizing I didn’t have a pain problem.
I had a bliss problem.

I was world-class at enduring, but I was completely incapable of letting myself exist in pure happiness. I could handle a crisis, but I couldn’t handle a rest. I didn’t know how to let my system just… land. I was so busy “doing” my healing that I forgot that rest is the doing.

So, at the start of last year, I made a choice. I didn’t “find” a new identity; I purposely chose one.

I chose to step entirely outside the loop of my old patterns. I moved toward a version of myself that was completely uncertain and unknown. I had no idea where it would lead, but I had no hesitation and no expectations. I just knew that if I didn’t start looking at the world differently, nothing in my life would ever change.

I realized I’d had enough of the survival bunker.
I stopped trying to be useful and started being authentic.
I stopped fixing and started inhabiting.
I realized that my existence is the value, and the world began to reflect that back to me the moment I stopped trying to earn it.

This is what I’ve learned in the first year of finally choosing to stay. It isn’t a destination; it’s a daily registration in my own skin.

My name is Mai, an anatomy nerd whom kinda rebuilt a life all over again in a new country with just me myself and I and I just officially turned 39.

What’s your story?

07/01/2026

What if I’m not an empath the way I thought I was?

That thought alone felt like a crisis.
Because for most of my life, being “empathetic” wasn’t just a trait, it was my identity.
The nice one. The understanding one. The one who never made things harder.

If I’m not that… then who am I?
A bad person? A villain? Someone who doesn’t care?

What I’m starting to see is this:
There were people in my past who benefited from my empathy being endless.
Not always consciously. Not always cruelly.
But enough that I learned, very early, to adapt into someone who absorbed more than was humanly reasonable.

Because sometimes what we call “being an empath”
is actually a survival strategy shaped around other people’s discomfort.
A way to keep closeness without conflict.
A way to reduce tension that was never ours to manage.

Whether empathy is innate or learned, one thing is clear to me now:
I don’t have to carry anyone else’s emotional load if I don’t have the capacity.
Or the consent.
Or the desire.

And even if I pull back.
Even if I need solitude.
Even if I reject the world for a while to heal…

That doesn’t make me less empathetic.
It makes me honest.

True empathy was never meant to erase the self.
It was never meant to cost us our autonomy.

If you’re questioning this too…
If you’re untangling who you are beneath the “good,” the “soft,” the “always understanding”,
that confusion doesn’t mean you’re losing yourself.

It might mean you’re finally meeting yourself.

19/12/2025

Kidney is all about 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘀𝗮𝗳𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘀𝘆𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗺 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝘅𝗶𝘀𝘁.

In the body:
Kidney shows up as low back fatigue, cold feet, tight hips, jaw clenching at night, deep tiredness that sleep doesn’t fix.
When Kidney is depleted, your body conserves — movement becomes smaller, breath gets shallow, recovery takes longer.

In emotions:
Kidney governs fear — not panic fear, but quiet survival fear.
The kind that makes you withdraw, self-contain, and stop asking.
You don’t fall apart — you disappear.

In the mind:
Decision-making becomes conservative.
You delay, hesitate, wait for “safer timing.”
Not because you don’t want growth — but because your system is protecting its last reserves.

In spirit (Shen):
Kidney holds your will to live, your sense of direction over time.
When it’s strong, you trust the future.
When it’s weak, everything feels uncertain, even when nothing is “wrong.”

Practical rebalancing looks like:
• warming the body before pushing it
• building rhythm instead of intensity
• resting before exhaustion
• choosing depth over urgency
• letting support in without explaining yourself

This isn’t about fixing fear.
It’s about teaching your system that it’s safe to stay.

And when Kidney feels safe,
you don’t retreat from life anymore.

Meridian Camp will return in early 2026 with a a deeper, more integrated form.
Stay close. The next gathering will come in its own season.

Address

17801 International Blvd

98158-1202

Website

http://www.maielements.com/

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