12/11/2025
Lately I been feeling “guilty” from Glimpses of Happiness in my life…. I have had extreme Anxiety around me being happy, Anxiety around Family, Anxiety has taken over and it’s been very overwhelming…. Especially not drinking to numb the feelings…
WHAT I WAS NOT GIVEN THIS PAST YEAR FROM MY CLOSEST PEOPLE WAS “Grace” . No one will ever know what it does to you when you find your Significant other with a Self Inflicted Gunshot to the head……
Last year I was just moving around, to SURVIVE what this did to my life…
So many people EXITED my life through judgement and NO COMPASSION for my situation, except for a certain few !! Do you know what this does to a Person? PTSD, seperation anxiety, fear , depression , no sleep, brain fog, survival mode just to get through the day.. flashes, triggers, nightmares …
Now that I’m realizing my whole life I have to rebuild from scratch and the dust settling and trying my best to maneuver through all of this pain , when I get glimpses of being in a happy place it makes me uncomfortable and it’s not fair to the people in my life that are right by my side…
But I’m trying my best….
For the very few out of hundreds of people in my life THANK YOU FOR BEING THERE FOR ME. Thank you to my person who has been by my side through this all and has seen me at my worst and won’t leave even if I push away…
I just want to be happy without being judged and moving forward I AM Going TO DO MY BEST…. For me and the few that have hung on to me through this darkest year of my life..
I have shedded the old friends and family that no longer serve me and I have gained NEW FRIENDS AND FAMILY , my Soul Family!!
I am grateful for Life but dang it it’s been rough!!!