Abby the Sociologist Doula

Abby the Sociologist Doula Bereavement doula, birth doula, and childbirth education services provided by a sociologist passionate about supporting families

I am so excited for this event next week!! New York City, this panel promises to be AMAZING. I'm honored to be a part of...
11/07/2025

I am so excited for this event next week!!

New York City, this panel promises to be AMAZING. I'm honored to be a part of this conversation on the spirituality of birth. Come join us Tuesday night at the Roxy Hotel! (Get your ticket in advance!)

And everyone, please cross your fingers that my flight actually gets me there and back. 🤞🏻

Here we come, Seattle! If you're at the same conference we are going to, please come say hi!! (Or join me at the Bereave...
10/23/2025

Here we come, Seattle!

If you're at the same conference we are going to, please come say hi!! (Or join me at the Bereavement meet up at tomorrow lunch)

10/23/2025

Experiencing a thing does not automatically make you good at supporting others through the thing.

Get more grief informed with Haven Bereavement Doulas!

10/21/2025

DON'T DO IT!!

It is SO difficult for a sentence that starts with "at least" to be anything other than minimizing.

And if we're trying to minimize someone else's pain, that is usually an indication that we're not listening to them or we're uncomfortable being invited into their sorrow.

We can do better than this.

Things we might say instead:
I'm so sorry.
That sounds awful.
I wish more than anything I could change this. But I'm with you even though I can't.
I hate that you're having to deal with this.
I love you, and I am here for you.
Do you want to tell me the whole story? I'd love to hear it.

Grief vocabulary is one of my favorite things to talk and write about. If you want to learn more about the five stages o...
10/20/2025

Grief vocabulary is one of my favorite things to talk and write about.

If you want to learn more about the five stages of grief and what ancient wisdom / modern peer reviewed research have to say about them, keep your eye on the Haven announcements in the coming month!!

Did you know that there are options for burial vessels for a little one? Caskets and coffins are some of the well-known ...
10/19/2025

Did you know that there are options for burial vessels for a little one?

Caskets and coffins are some of the well-known options. But there are many more.

Check them out on the Resources page at bereavementdoulas.com.

10/17/2025

Men.

It's not cardiac problems from all the extra blood their bodies are pumping. It's not hemorrhages gone catastrophic. It's not septic infections. It's actually not a biological aspect of pregnancy at all.

It's men.

Domestic violence, most commonly from a male partner, is the #1 COD for women in the perinatal period.

Men kill more women in the perinatal period every year in the U.S. than high blood pressure, hemorrhage, and sepsis COMBINED.

68% of all those murders involve a firearm.

And sure, have killed the people they got pregnant.

But WOW society needs to do better.

Male violence is a public health crisis for women who are having kids.

Holding you close on this Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day.
10/16/2025

Holding you close on this Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day.

The verb form of this word, "to miscarry," sounds - and even carries the connotation - that the person carrying the baby...
10/10/2025

The verb form of this word, "to miscarry," sounds - and even carries the connotation - that the person carrying the baby carried them poorly.

That's almost never the case.

So, using the term "to miscarry" ascribes agency and therefore blame. That isn't helpful and can actually be hurtful.

Here's what I say instead:
💙 Experienced a miscarriage
🩷Had a miscarriage
💙Experienced a loss
🩷Had a loss

What other alternatives would you add?

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