03/01/2026
Imagine a stranger walking through your front door, looking around, and saying in disgust, “Gross. You must be so lazy, look at all this clutter and mess, why don’t you get off the couch sometime?”
I don’t know about y’all, but I’d be a little more than angry. I would not allow myself to be spoken to like that. I would defend myself. They would be promptly escorted right back out that door.
And maybe if they caught me at a time when im already feeling vulnerable, it would cause me to crumble, cry, pity myself, feel like garbage.
Undoubtedly, it would be unfair, because they don’t know me, or my home.
They don’t know my level of health, how much help I do or don’t have, if the laundry on the couch is clean and just needs folded.
They don’t know how much fun we have with the toys scattered everywhere, or that the same living room is often turned into a giant blanket fort for days at a time.
The rhythm of our lives, the capacity we have to care for our space, is in flux. The things you have going on, the stressors you experience, they directly affect your ability to “keep up”. Plus, cleanliness looks different for everyone.
So if you’re having a hard week (month…year..), please remember to be kind to yourself.
Mess is only temporary. Clutter is only things. Your personhood and your worthiness are not defined by them.