Doula Care for Dying

04/25/2026

I just shared something new on the blog, and it’s one of those posts that stayed with me long after I wrote it.

It begins with a moment I thought I had more time for… and moves into a question so many families face:
“Now what do we do?”

We don’t talk nearly enough about what happens after someone dies — and how much it can matter to have even a little clarity in those first tender hours.

This post is an invitation to begin those conversations with the people you love. Not perfectly. Not all at once. Just… to begin.

If you’ve ever wondered how to talk to your family about after-death plans, or why it even matters, I hope this offers something grounding.

https://www.doulacarefordying.com/writing/talking-to-your-family-about-after-death-plans

And if this resonates with you, I’d love to stay connected. You can sign up to receive my newsletter (and gentle prompts like this one) directly in your inbox.

Because these conversations don’t take away the grief… but they can soften the uncertainty.

With great care,
Kasey

I recently got a message that a hospice client I visited for several months had taken a turn and been hospitalized. It sounded like this might be the end and I reached out to visit. I spoke her sweet...

04/22/2026

I’ve been a bit of a homebody lately. I know it’s technically spring, but I haven’t been feeling that sense of growth and renewal the season promises just yet.

But that’s okay.

Perhaps before I’m ready to launch into what’s next, I just need some space to reflect on what this last season has brought into my life. And while I’m doing that, I’m taking the kids with me as I run errands (my daughter even took a photo of me the other day that I’ll share here). I’m carting a teething toddler around the house to soothe her while still caring for and playing with her older sister. And there has been so much art, drawing, and writing these days.

It’s a quieter kind of season. One that feels more like tending than blooming.

I met with a community member recently to talk about after-death care, and I left the conversation with something I’ve been turning over since.

​What is after death care and how do you plan for it? This post explores grief integration vs healing, values-based end of life planning, and the role of an end of life doula.

04/16/2026

What happens after someone dies is often rushed, hidden, or handed over without much conversation.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

After death care can be an intentional, meaningful part of the end-of-life experience, one that reflects our values, supports grieving loved ones, and honors the person who has died.

I’m honored to be in conversation with Michelle Acciavatti of Vermont Forest Cemetery and Lindsey Warren of Journey With Compassion as part of Patient Choices Vermont's Exit Matters series for an upcoming talk on after death care in Vermont. Together, we’ll explore what after death care is, why it matters, and what options are available, including whether home-based after death care is possible following medical aid in dying (MAiD).

If you’ve ever wondered what your choices are, or how to create a more supported and intentional experience after a death, I hope you’ll join us.

🔗 https://lp.constantcontactpages.com/ev/reg/cngajpw

Feel free to share with anyone who might find this helpful.

04/15/2026

Relationships Are the Work: What an End of Life Doula Teaches About a Well Supported Death

​What does an end of life doula actually do? On the blog I'm writing about relationships, presence, and how connection shapes a well supported death for individuals and families.

​What does an end of life doula actually do? This reflective post explores relationships, presence, and how connection shapes a well supported death for individuals and families.

04/10/2026

There is a moment after someone dies when the space itself holds something different.
Not just grief, but presence. Absence. Memory. A kind of quiet that can feel heavy, or sacred, or both.
In a newsletter, I shared a simple ritual for closing the space. A way to acknowledge that a death has happened, and gently return the space to the living.
This photo was sent to me by a reader who brought that ritual into her mother’s home. The home her mom had lived in for nearly 60 years, and the very room where she died.
She didn’t do it alone.
She invited a friend to be with her.
She gathered objects that mattered: her mom’s prayer shawl, a candle, dried eucalyptus, a bowl that had been in the family for decades.
She found messages tucked into the day. Words her mom had written, symbols that felt like connection.
And together, they marked the transition.
Not to “move on.”
Not to make the grief smaller.
But to say:
Something sacred happened here.
And now, we are tending what comes next.
Ritual doesn’t take grief away.
But it gives it somewhere to go.
It gives us something to do with love when we don’t know what to do with the loss.
I’ve heard from you that this particular ritual has been helpful, especially in spaces that feel hard to return to.
If you’re navigating that right now, you don’t have to do it alone.
And it doesn’t have to be perfect.
It just has to be intentional.
🤍
If you’d like the ritual, you can find it in my newsletter (or send me a message and I’ll share it with you).

03/29/2026

Yesterday’s Spring Threshold retreat is still sitting with me, in the best way.

I started the day with a short reading from You Can Help Someone Who’s Grieving by Victoria Frigo, Diane Fisher, and Mary Lou Cook. The passage reminded us that none of us has all the answers when it comes to death, grief, or care. And that, perhaps, isn’t the point.

Instead, we are surrounded by teachers.

“You may feel like you don’t have enough experience to handle the circumstances associated with death… But none of us has all the answers. Fortunately, you are surrounded by ordinary people who possess special wisdom based on their life experiences… We can call this curriculum ‘intentional learning.’”

That idea stayed with me all day.

Because what unfolded in that room was exactly that, intentional learning. Not from one voice, but from many. Stories shared. Questions asked. Quiet reflections. Moments of recognition.

I felt so honored to be in a space with such a rich group of teachers.

And while the authors call them “ordinary people,” I have to say… this group felt anything but ordinary. The insight, care, honesty, and presence each person brought was something truly special.

Thank you to everyone who showed up; with your experiences, your questions, your willingness to be in community at this threshold between seasons.

Spring is here. And something is growing.

02/22/2026

Spring is a natural threshold; a time to pause, reflect, and notice what’s emerging.

In death work, we often hold space for others during moments of transition. This March, I’m creating space for a few of us.

On Saturday, March 28th (10:00 am – 4:00 pm), I’m hosting an intimate, in-person planning and reflection retreat in Springfield, VT.

This is not a training or certification. It’s a thoughtfully structured day for death doulas and death care workers to:

• Look back on the past season
• Reconnect with the values that ground their work
• Gently plan for the growing season ahead
• Sit in community with others who understand the realities of this field

We’ll move through guided reflection, individual planning time, small-group witnessing, and a closing community ritual.

I’m intentionally keeping the group small (12–18 people) to support depth and connection.
Cost is $55 to help cover space and materials.

If you’ve been craving space that’s structured but not hustle-driven, reflective but not isolating, this may be for you.

Registration link in the comments. I would love to gather in this season with you.

With great care,
Kasey

01/29/2026

Things are still hard.
And many of us are carrying more stress than we realize.

Between the news, caregiving, grief, and the quiet vigilance of loving people in uncertain times, our bodies often stay stuck in “alert mode.” Even when we step away from the headlines, the stress doesn’t always leave.

I wrote a new blog post about the stress cycle—what’s happening in our bodies during chronic stress, why caregivers are especially impacted, and simple, evidence-informed ways to help the body come back toward safety.

None of this fixes the world.
But it can help us keep showing up—for ourselves, for the people we love, and for the work that matters.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, activated, or worn down, this is for you. 💛 https://www.doulacarefordying.com/blog1/things-are-still-hard-completing-the-stress-cycle-in-uncertain-times

12/21/2025

🌿 New on the Doula Care for Dying Blog 🌿

If you’ve ever cared for someone who is dying, you know the emotional journey isn’t always serene, predictable, or “peaceful” in the way we expect. End-of-life emotions can be layered, shifting, and even contradictory—and that doesn’t mean something is wrong. It means we’re human. 💛

In my latest post, When Peace Doesn’t Look Peaceful, I share a story and insight into how acceptance, grief, clarity, confusion, joy, and longing can all exist at the same time—and how true peace often looks like the freedom to feel it all.
End-of-Life Support

Whether you’re supporting a loved one now, thinking about your own future, or simply seeking deeper understanding, this piece is for you.

👉 Read more: https://www.doulacarefordying.com/blog1/when-peace-doesnt-look-peaceful-understanding-end-of-life-emotions-and-contradictory-truths

And if this speaks to you, you can sign up for my newsletter to have future writing delivered straight to your inbox. If you're looking for other ways to support this work please like, comment, or share— nobody should have to navigate these emotions alone. 💫

If you are caring for someone who is dying, you’ve probably discovered that the emotional landscape at the end of life is not simple. Many caregivers expect a kind of serene clarity—a gentle...

12/12/2025

🕯️ A few spaces still available — January After-Death Care Course 🕯️

There are still a handful of openings in our upcoming After-Death Care: How to Legally Care for the Dead in Vermont three-part workshop series, happening this January.

This course is for anyone who wants to better understand what’s possible after a death — caregivers, death doulas, clergy, health workers, community members, or anyone feeling called to reclaim this deeply human act of care.

✨ Course Details
Online sessions (Zoom):
• Wednesday, January 7 | 6:00–7:30pm
• Wednesday, January 21 | 6:00–7:30pm

In-person, hands-on workshop:
• Saturday, January 31 | 10:00am–2:30pm
• St. Mary’s Episcopal Church, Northfield, VT

Together we’ll explore:
• What after-death care includes
• Vermont legal considerations for families and doulas
• Planning, preparation, and communication tools
• Hands-on body care, rolling, and shrouding
• How to build a support team and involve funeral directors when needed

This series is grounded, practical, and community-centered — with space for questions, reflection, and connection. No previous experience required.

🧡 Sliding-scale pricing available
Because access to this knowledge matters.

👉 Learn more + register here:
https://www.journeywithcompassion.com/afterdeathcarecourse

If you’ve been curious, feeling called, or wanting to be better prepared for yourself or others — we’d love to have you join us.

12/12/2025

You Are Not Doing the Holidays Wrong: Caregiver Burnout, Grief, and the Weight of This Season

The holiday season is often described as joyful, magical, and full of meaning. And for many caregivers and death-care workers, it is also exhausting, emotionally complex, and heavy in ways that can be hard to explain.

If you’re feeling worn down, overwhelmed, or burned out this time of year, you are not alone—and you are not doing anything wrong.

The holiday season is often described as joyful, magical, and full of meaning. And for many caregivers and death-care workers, it is also exhausting, emotionally complex, and heavy in ways that can...

12/12/2025

There are good - and not so good ways to explain the dying process. While this nurse dramatized here is enthusiastic (and perhaps not reading the room as well as she might) she does give good information. And she’s not making things unnecessarily scary.

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1D9HqSQsXB/