25/05/2022
These are my four beautiful daughters. They got tucked into their bed last night, safe, healthy, with a prayer, song and a kiss. I didn’t want to let them go.
I’ve learned that it’s okay to cry in front of my kids. In fact it’s important for them to see me vulnerable, heartbroken and grieving. I was blown away with the compassion my little people showed me when I told them about ROBB elementary last night. They were confused, they didn’t understand why and how that would happen. They reassured me that it would never happen at their school. How innocent and sweet they are. Oh to be a child.
My kindergartener stood off to the side thinking and eventually came up with, “I wonder what the kids names are.” My oldest tried to cheer me up best she could process saying, “Mom, this is why I want to do Karate! So I can be a ninja! and take bad people down!” And my second wished we could send the families cupcakes and cookies with love.
My husband knows how the news impacts me, with ADHD we feel so big that I have to be choosey as to which media I take in.
My profession prior to coaching was an elementary school teacher, my daughters are currently in 3rd, 2nd and Kindergarten. I was still teaching school when the madness at Sandy Hook happened. This stuff shakes me to the core.
I don’t talk about my faith openly very much on this platform but I wept, my body shaking, my cries deep and wrenching. Last night alone in my bathroom I plead with God for the families of these sweet babies sent to Jesus far to early due to this inhumane massacre. There are no words, and I don’t know how to help today but I have personally been the recipient of prayers before and I know it has somehow given me strength to bare my burdens. I hope that while long term we can find solutions, that at least today we can pull together in prayers, good energy, and light candles for these sweet little brothers and sisters and their loved ones. I hope they can feel wrapped in the arms of love amidst so much pain that I can’t even begin to imagine.
There is power when we mourn with those that mourn. My heart feels both immense grief and intense gratitude. Life is 50/50.
