03/21/2020
Tips for The Student Athlete on Coping with Uncertainty During Coronavirus
Joseph Lenac, Licensed Psychologist; joe@joelenac.com
In these strange times of the Coronavirus outbreak the world has thrown everyone a curve ball. For the Student-Athlete the uncertainty is amplified by the loss of a season, loss of connection with team, loss of dreams of this season or even the end of your high school or college sport participation.
These events have many athletes feeling frustrated, sad, overwhelmed, and lost. Everything they have been working for has come to a grinding halt – due to no fault of their own. Life circumstance – the uncontrollable, has brought sports to a pause.
For athletes of all levels; developing juniors, high school, college, semi-pro to professionals there is a huge loss. This loss is bigger than just the athlete’s experience. It includes their teammates, coaches, school, fans and dreams. This is a big loss that comes with big waves of emotion.
Athletes are hardworking, dedicated and resilient people. They are also social, connected and used to working in groups. The loss of the daily connection to teammates, coaches, trainers, etc. is a strange feeling. Hopefully, we can provide ideas and tools to help you through this difficult time, with loss and with the emotions that come rolling at you like waves in the ocean.
First and foremost: this time of the coronavirus will not define who you are and what you become. This is one moment in hopefully a long and productive life. You are accomplished, resilient, hardworking, dedicated, talented and believe in yourself. Many wonderful and great things lay ahead.
Second: Your challenge for the time being is to manage the task of loss as best as possible.
A) Acknowledge your loss – sometimes we fight what is; meaning we are in denial. “This is not really happening!” “How could my season be over?”.
Coronavirus is here. We are all in this together. Acknowledge your loss so that you can begin to move through the loss.
B) Process your loss: it is okay to cry, talk, remember, feel. In fact, this is healthy. Crying is not a sign of weakness! It is a sign of caring – it is a sign that your role, your team, your work means something to you. As well, crying can be a healthy way to move some of that emotion.
Process with your teammates, coaches, friends and family. You don’t have to talk about it forever – just let some of those intelligent thoughts and feelings loose. As you discuss your thoughts and feelings with others you will find that it helps. Teammates and coaches are feeling the same things you are – connecting with them helps you both.
C) Shift: as we go through these uncertain times we all are transitioning to what is the “new normal”. Our task is to stay flexible, adapt and keep our momentum moving forward.
Sports has taught you many lessons on loss, being flexible, on dealing with the unexpected. Now is the time to cash in those lessons sports has taught you; to get past the curve balls that life is throwing.
4 Concrete Things to Do Now:
#1 Connect: connect with your teammates, coaches, friends and family. Connect in person when possible (keeping social distancing in mind). Use Facetime, Skype, WhatsAPP to see their faces. When we see someone’s face we are talking to, we connect on an emotional level – much more so than just hearing their voice. So – when possible talk face to face (even electronically) and share.
#2 Control What You Can Control: Right now a lot of things in life seem out of control. Do not focus on what you cannot control – focus on what you do control – yourself! Allow your focus and energies to be on what is possible versus on what you can do.
You already possess great flexibility as well as the ability to see possibilities other people do not. Again, tap those talents and abilities you have developed in the sporting world and apply them today and in the weeks to come.
Direct your focus to what is possible today, even in the next hour or two. What is possible today? Be specific – a run, exercise at home, talking to a teammate, reading a book you haven’t started, starting a new hobby.
#3 Maintain Your Attitude: Much in psychology is written about having a positive mindset – which I believe to be helpful. However, after working 29 years in mental health I know it can be challenging if not seemingly impossible to go from being in a dark, negative space to being in a positive one.
So, during these challenging times; focus on shifting from down/negative to neutral. Neutral means not judging yourself, the moment or circumstances. Neutral means just being in this moment.
#4 How You Respond to Adversity Is a Choice:
Do you let your emotions take over and run the ship? Do you fall apart? Emotions are like clouds they will float into your conscious mind – and if you wait a few moments, they float away.
Don’t make the mistake of jumping on your emotional cloud and get taken for a ride. Instead, admit you are having a feeling at the moment, and that you can let it pass.
A) Admit what you are feeling. Acknowledge it.
B) Now Breathe – deeply 5 times in a row.
C) Separate who you are from that feeling you have.
D) Breathe again. Let it go!
#5 Back to the beginning: You are accomplished, resilient, hardworking, dedicated, talented and believe in yourself. Sports, hard work and competition have taught you many great life lessons. Utilize what you have learned and the resilience you have built. Many wonderful and great things lay ahead.
We are all in this together. Connection is key to all of us getting through it. Thank you for reading. Share, talk, enjoy this unusual slow pace of life. Stay healthy, be kind to others and remember to breathe. Joseph Lenac 314-995-7201; joe@joelenac.com
