11/30/2021
Have you ever considered that helping helps the helper? Particularly when it is someone who will worry about us. When you give them permission to complete a small task such as bringing Christmas decorations down from the attic, you give them peace of mind that you won’t injure yourself trying this year. There is something so invaluable about asking for help. Even the smallest ask can make the biggest difference in someone’s day. However, asking for help can also be, for some, the hardest thing to do.
Why is asking for help so hard when it helps us SO much? There are various reasons. Some people associate asking for help with weakness or defeat. Other people are hesitant to give up the control and allow someone else to complete the task. In most scenarios, the overarching emotion holding us back is fear. Fear of being told no, fear of looking incapable, or even a fear that this means you have lost control. Rather than facing the fear within the situation, we decide to just complete the task ourselves. We are hardwired throughout life to just get it done.
When it comes to asking for help, I hold an unpopular opinion. That opinion being that I think it is far more important to look at what you gain when you ask for help than the fear. You gain the ability to inherit a new perspective on the situation. That friend, family member, or peer who you turn to for help will provide a new outlook or even an idea on how to get through the situation in an even better way than you had previously planned. This shows the person how much you value their opinion, assistance, and knowledge in the area. Another amazing benefit to asking for help is the ability to improve our mental health by leaps and bounds. We, as a society, are in constant motion. Our plates are overflowing with tasks, expectations, and appointments. When we take a step back to ask for help, we allow ourselves a second to breathe and recharge. Once recharged, we can complete tasks more efficiently. Lastly, it is simple – it lifts a weight off our chest and decreases our stress. Who wouldn’t benefit from a decrease in their stress levels?
I challenge you to confront your personal assumptions about asking for help. Here are a few tips that can help when asking for help from others.
1. Don’t wait until something goes wrong
2. Change your beliefs and expectations of yourself
3. Be direct and clear on your expectations of the help received
4. Remember that the person who you ask is in no way obligated to say yes. Trust that they will say no if they truly cannot help.
5. Focus on the desired outcome
6. Consider what possibilities exist if you do not ask for help
7. Don’t try to be a superhero who can do it all
We all need help sometimes and THAT IS OKAY! Sometimes the best outcomes come to us when we ask for help.
XX,
Hadley
