Coffee with Casey Counseling

12/23/2025

Personal growth is the great separator between those who succeed and those who don’t. We cannot become what we need by remaining what we are!

12/21/2025

12/17/2025

Ever had a message land and your brain immediately go,
“Well. I’ve clearly ruined everything.”

Some people experience what gets called “RSD.”

I don’t love the name, so let’s translate it.

Let's call it a Connection-Protective Response.

This is how it often shows up:

You reread messages like they’re evidence in a court case.
Someone says “we’ll see” and your stomach drops.
A neutral tone feels… not neutral.
You assume you’ve messed up before anyone’s said you have.
Your body reacts faster than your logic can keep up.

It can feel dramatic on the inside, even when you look completely calm on the outside. Which is exhausting, frankly.

Why does this happen?

Because your nervous system learned that connection matters. A lot.

For some people, being misunderstood, criticised, excluded, or corrected came with real consequences. So the system adapted. It learned to react quickly in order to protect relationships.

That’s the key bit. This isn’t attention-seeking. It isn’t immaturity. It isn’t being “too sensitive”.

It’s protection.

Horses do this beautifully. In a safe, predictable herd, everyone relaxes. In an unpredictable one, the sensitive horses notice everything. They aren’t faulty. They’re responding to the environment.

The problem isn’t the response. The problem is living in spaces where repair isn’t normal and mistakes feel dangerous.

A Connection-Protective Response softens when:

✨️clarity replaces guessing
✨️repair replaces silence
✨️and safety replaces constant self-monitoring

You don’t need to get rid of it. You need safety & understanding.

And maybe fewer messages that start with “Let's catch up later" 🥹😫

If this landed for you, save it.
If you know someone who lives in this space, share it.

12/16/2025

If I can help with anything, please don’t hesitate to let me know 

12/13/2025

At the 988 Su***de & Crisis Lifeline, we understand that life’s challenges can sometimes be difficult. Whether you’re facing mental health struggles, emotional distress, alcohol or drug use concerns…

12/12/2025

🐴 When Your Nervous System Needs a Herd

Sometimes your mind tells you everyone is upset with you.

That you said the wrong thing.
That you’ve somehow messed everything up.

And your whole body reacts as if it is true.

Here is the trauma-informed reality:

You are responding like a prey animal in a world that feels like a predator.

When you’ve lived through rejection or emotional unpredictability, your nervous system learns to anticipate danger before it arrives.
It becomes hypervigilance.
It becomes the constant question: “Am I safe?”

This is why horses feel like home for so many people.

They don’t care about your awkward text.
They don’t remember the silence at dinner.
They don’t measure your worth by social cues.

A horse has one priority: safety.

They are built to scan for threat.
They understand the urge to check the perimeter.
They understand what it is to live on alert.

But they also carry the lesson humans forget most:

🌾 The Return to Grazing

A horse can spook, adrenaline surging, ready to flee…
and seconds later, they breathe, shake, and lower their head to eat.

They don’t cling to the story.
They feel the fear, recognise the absence of danger, and come back to the present.

When you stand with a horse, you are not looking into a mirror.

You are borrowing their calm.

Their slow heart rate.
Their grounded body.
Their ability to come back to grazing.

Hypervigilance is not a flaw.
It is a survival skill that outstayed its environment.

So when your brain whispers, “Everyone hates me,” try this:

1. Acknowledge the spook. I feel unsafe.

2. Check the environment. Is there an actual threat?

3. Find your herd. Who helps my body soften?

4. Return to grazing. Breathe. Eat. Be here.

You are not broken.
You are a sensitive creature looking for safety.
And you deserve a herd—human or horse—where you can rest without performing.

12/09/2025

Composure is one of the most powerful tools a fireman carries, yet it’s the one that can’t be stored on the rig. In this job, chaos is guaranteed. What separates a professional from the rest is the ability to remain calm when everything around you is screaming urgency.

Over the radio, composure means clear, confident communication. A steady voice cuts through noise, stress, and confusion. Crews hear it, command hears it, and trust is built or lost in seconds. Panic travels faster than fire; calm shuts it down.

At the side of a trapped patient, your composure becomes medicine. They don’t know extrication timelines or fire behavior. They know fear. A calm voice reassures them that someone competent is in control, that help is here, and that they are not alone. Your tone can slow their breathing, lower their heart rate, and buy precious time.

Before crossing the threshold of a burning home, composure becomes leadership. Your crew reads you long before you say a word. Calm tells them the plan is sound, the risks are understood, and no one is acting out of ego or haste. It steadies hands, sharpens decision-making, and keeps fear from turning into mistakes.

Keeping your composure doesn’t mean you don’t feel pressure, it means you’ve trained your mind to function despite it. Fires are unpredictable. Emotions are contagious. A composed fireman becomes the anchor in the storm, and in this profession, being that anchor saves lives, especially your own.