10/22/2025
🎭 WOODROW’S LAMENT:
A Lobby Monologue 🐾
The scene opens: fluorescent lights hum, the phone rings for the 9th time in a row, and somewhere, a chihuahua screams.
“Ah yes… the lobby. My domain. My battlefield. My burden. 📞🐾
The phones—they never stop. Ring, ring, ring… a relentless chorus echoing through these tiled halls. I hear them in my dreams now. Barking dogs, panicked pet parents, the distant clatter of a printer jamming for no reason at all.
The door swings open—another dog enters, loud, proud, and utterly scandalized by the fact that I’m lying on his floor. Sir, this is my territory. I’ve bled for this rug. (Okay, it was a toenail trim incident, but still.)
The humans rush by, wearing scrubs, wielding thermometers. They say, “Woodrow, you’re such a good boy!” But do they understand the weight I carry? The pressure of being both morale officer and emotional support to a 12-pound terrier with trust issues?
And yet… I endure. I nap. I watch. I fluff the bed again. I stay strong—for them. For us all.”
He sighs, dramatically, and lays his head on his teddy bear.
— Woodrow, Lobby Legend, First of His Name
