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Penelope Noelle

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Tucson, AZ
Penelope Noelle

Penelope Noelle Padias, my sweet 16 month old baby girl, sweetest soul you’ll ever mean. Unfortuna

10/02/2021

Penelope would have been 3 on September 29. I love and miss my baby girl so much😔 each day seems to get harder n harder without you. Your memory is still alive within me and your sisters💗💜💛

05/06/2021

This was my last few days with you become you went into a coma. I can’t believe you been gone the same time you were here in earth... it feels like much longer. I miss you my Angel. No nothing gets better or easier if anything you just find things to occupy your mind to not think about the pain, when your alone and stuck in your head that’s when the panic and pain creep up. I’m sorry my babygirl I don’t think of you often it’s just to hard. My mommy loves you so much always have have always will. That last photo was the last time I held you when you were alive... I wish things were different even if this was the outcome, it was brutal I’m just glad the medicine kept you from pain. I love you Penelope Noelle 💜

11/23/2020

My baby a year ago tried to take her first steps, after a year of therapies multiple times a week she did this at 1 years old. She could walk across furniture but this was a huge deal! That was the most I ever saw:/ I love you my Angel thank you for always doing your best! Mommy was so proud of you! I’ll never forget every milestone and achievement you did because it means more than most typical babies because you fought so hard! That extra chromosome didn’t hold you back it gave you more than any of us, you are the purest of them all. My Nellie girl sure loved to dance anytime she got the chance too! Mommy loves you forever💜

11/08/2020

A year ago....💔

10/01/2020

Happy 2nd birthday my angel in heaven 💜 I miss you so much 😢 this is still so unreal these have been the most painful 8 months and I still have a lifetime without you:/ Please know mommy loved you much and still do and I tried to fight for you till the last moment I could

08/12/2020

I miss you so much babygirl It’s been 6 months that I’ve lost you... when I walked in and saw them doing chest compressions on your small body... watching on the screen and seeing a flat line. Ever since than it’s been hard to breathe I feel so empty and I feel lost without you. These days it’s hard to even imagine you. It was so hard to let you go... to know that your body I will never see or hold again. You were so beautifully and wonderfully made. A lifetime without you is the most painful thing to think of. This pain is like the most unimaginable thing it’s not natural it’s not okay it’s not normal. It’s all pain.. it’s all suffering it’s a part of me that died. That’s what’s weird about it all I’m alive but I’ve died... how can this even be possible.. to go on without a part of me gone. 6 months down every day I’m closer to you but it’s still so far away:/

07/16/2020

I wanna thank Mamies Poppy Plates for this custom plate in memory of Penelope 💜 this is absolutely amazing and so grateful for this! I get to cherish this for the test of my life.

06/22/2020

5 months ago....I went to the hospital and saw my baby on life support... She had only been admitted 3 days before going on life support and each day she got worse. I saw her eat less, I saw her smile less, I saw her energy leaving, she couldn’t hold herself up anymore. She just wanted me to hold her and I tried ever moment I could. This picture was taken the last time I ever saw my baby awake and last time I held alive. You could just see in her face she was done...it hurts my heart as a mother to see this picture now and know my baby tired of fighting for her life...but I know she tried so hard. After this picture I put her back in her crib and I had to walk away... because I had to go see Journi who was also in the icu and breastfeed (she was only 2 weeks old) her and than I left for the night to get some sleep and see Charlie. As I walked away she screamed and cried and I could hear it echo the entire unit. It hurt so bad not knowing the next day early morning she’d be on life support. I miss you so much baby girl.. my last moments awake with you weren’t fair at all.. I love you so much it’s okay that you didn’t wanna fight anymore I understand. You won to me❣️ you got to go to the place we all some day pray and hope to be. I love you angel 👼

06/06/2020

Happy Heart-iversary❤️ Penelope👧🏻 today is the day you went into open heart surgery, such a traumatic memory and you ended up going in sick as well. You have the most STRONGEST HEART as well as the purest! You fought everyday and beat it the odds every time. I’m so proud of you. I planned this day for you at your 6 month mark. Because you deserved it for what you’ve been through. I so badly wish to spend it with you... we knew you’d love the cake and ice cream part😇 baby girl no matter what even when it was your last moments your heart stayed strong I’m grateful for that. Me and you will forever share that bond and for that I’m grateful🙏 I love you nellie girl! I know your Celebrating In Heaven I know you are happy and free. I’ll never forget how hard you fought everyday of your young life.

04/24/2020

Nellie girl 👧🏻 my arms aches to hold you again, my heart aches for you every second that goes by without you. So many things I notice and that goes on with your sisters it just a constant reminder that all those wishes, dreams and plans I had for you were taken from me.....just as much as I think and care and love and do things for my other children I do the same for you because you are my child. This tragedy isn’t something “you get over” it’s not something that “goes away” I will forever be changed, mourn and miss you my baby girl 💜

04/19/2020

3 months since you had been admitted in the hospital...and 3 days later you were incubated. I just wish I had those last moments back...💔 I will always speak of you and make sure you are never forgotten, it may be taboo for some but I’m just as entitled to speak of you even without you being here. I love you my baby girl 👧🏻💜

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