12/11/2025
Finally. Thank you Denmark for leading the way!
Sleep in the first year can be so hard and depends so much on what the WHOLE family needs. There are ways to work toward *shaping* a baby's sleep, but NOT before the end of the fourth trimester at 3 months. And then it should be gentle and very slowly progressive. Babies nervous systems are not made equally!! This is not a one-size-fits all sort of thing. Our animal instincts need to be fully engaged if we are going to try to shift an infants' sleeping patterns. And it primarily has to do with nervous system regulation, attachment and safety. Also some babies and beings need more closeness all day long and through the night. This is just how some of us are *made*.
There are gentle approaches to help babies' nervous systems settle and become more regulated.... and therefore help them sleep better. Through Tender Courage Birth and Wellness, I use a multi-dimensional approach: I look at prenatal, birth and postpartum factors, for baby and for the whole family. I look at the entire family system and what kind and texture of regulation is present or not present. I listen deeply to this unique pattern and I consider what may need to be adjusted to promote more regulation in the baby's system to allow for sleep to naturally occur for progressively longer stretches. I look at any overt or covert restrictions and discomfort that the baby's system may be carrying, leading to digestive upset and motor developmental delays. I use my own form of Baby Yoga and massage to help relieve discomfort and I teach all of this to the parents so they can work with baby daily. I then work with the craniosacral system to help unwind the emotions inherently embedded within any physical limitations present in the baby's body. I find that with attention and acknowledgement, these patterns usually easily resolve and promote deeper, more smooth transitions into sleep and longer stretches of deeper sleep. It also often trnaslates to baby being more alert and able to take in her environment during waking hours. This supports the unique precess of development to unfold from a place of inherent health and vitality. This can take one session for some babes and up to 8 sessions for other babes (although 2-4 visits is most typical). I do find that the earlier an infant comes to see me after birth, the easier these patterns are to unwind. Fresh brains start wiring from the very first minutes after birth (and during the entire prenatal period!!), so whatever internal landscape is present for the baby (and for the entire family system) starts to wire right away. The sooner we can work with those dynamics the better.
This same principle applies at all life stages: the sooner you are seen at Tender Courage, or by another craniosacral practioner, who specializes in the age range of the client, the better. Toddlers, in particular, tend to fall often as they are becoming walkers and runners. It's always good to be seen after the Big falls as soon as possible. I reserve a few appts each week for these types of 'emergent' visits. Toddlers can greatly benefit from monthly appts as they are transitioning to their upright walking posture to help clear out all the little bumps and bruises along the way as well!
If you are interested in talking to me about how Tender Courage may be able to help you and your family, please do reach out!
And keep in mind, I do accept Mass Health for postpartum doula care and these techniques are fully brought into my postpartum doula visits.
Denmark is moving away from the “cry it out” sleep training method, largely due to pressure from over 700 psychologists who signed an open letter citing harm to infant emotional development, leading the Danish board to reconsider its guidance, emphasizing responsive care and secure attachment as healthier alternatives.
Studies find consistently ignoring a crying baby can negatively impact their brain development, increase stress hormones like cortisol and can even affect their future emotional health.
Babies communicate their needs by crying, and ignoring these cries can lead to prolonged periods of stress, causing a rise in cortisol levels. Elevated cortisol levels can negatively impact brain development, brain structure and a baby’s ability to regulate stress even later in life.
Consistent responsiveness to a baby’s cries helps them develop a sense of security and trust in their caregivers. This can lead to a more secure attachment, which is crucial for emotional well-being, healthy social relationships and brain development.
Babies are not trying to manipulate their parents when they cry, they are communicating their needs and attempting to establish a connection. Responding to these cries is critical for building a strong bond and promoting healthy development.
