CityCouples

27/09/2023

For some couples, the subject of apologizing becomes contentious. One partner wants an apology because they are feeling hurt, and for the other partner, it does not feel genuine to apologize if they don't believe they did anything wrong.

The right/wrong frame is not the most helpful for navigating relational injuries. Unfortunately, it's the main one we are taught.

In relationships, however, relational injuries are often complex and unintentional. They involve each person's perspective, interpretation, historical wounds, and sensitivities. The question to ask ourselves, then, is not "Did I do anything wrong?", but rather, "How can I acknowledge my partner's pain?"

It may sound something like, "I'm sorry. It was not my intention to sound harsh. What can I do to make it better?" "I'm sorry. I do not want you to feel rejected. What can I do to help right now?"

Apologizing not as an admission of guilt, but as a recognition that our subjective realities sometimes do not mix well.

--Dr. Ili ♥️

04/09/2023

Last month, for example," says David Brooks "the University of Chicago economist Sam Peltzman published a study in which he found that marriage was 'the most important differentiator' between happy and unhappy people. Married people are 30 points happier than the unmarried. Income contributes to happiness, too, but not as much."

How does this ring true for you? 💍

https://buff.ly/3PnQp6b

Yet parents sends the opposite message to the young.

03/09/2023

"Your actions can either foster or erode trust in a relationship. While trust can be destroyed in a moment through a betrayal like infidelity, the little things that you do on a regular basis can also be damaging."

If you're not careful, you can seriously undermine the hard work you've put into your relationship.

02/09/2023

A step-by-step process for communication and repair when we resort to negative narratives about our partner. Try these next time an argument is "brewing!"

Brevity is key, experts say.

01/09/2023

The mental load is a reality, usually more for one partner than another. It takes new skills to bring the relationship back to "balance," or an ongoing culture of consideration.

Would this phrase be helpful in your relationship? ♥️

The mental load is a very real struggle that many married couples with children experience - you're not alone...

01/09/2023

31/08/2023

Orna Guralnik explains, "One of the most difficult challenges for couples is getting them to see beyond their own entrenched perspectives, to acknowledge a partner’s radical otherness and appreciate difference and sovereignty."

Guralnik is the therapist featured in Showtime's Couples Therapy. And, one of the reasons I appreciate the show is the intersectionality that meets within the relationships represented on the show. --Dr. Ili ♥️

For more and more of Orna Guralnik’s patients, the ideas behind Black Lives Matter and are leading to breakthroughs at home.

29/08/2023

The aim of this weekly discussion group is to provide a safe space for peer support and community building for folks who are practicing or who are curious about practicing ethical non-monogamy, polyamory, and/or non-normative relationships. This group protects freedom of sexual expression and promotes openness to explore how alternative sexual lifestyles impact your relationships.

This is a virtual group, beginning on Monday, September 11th. It is open to residents of NY and FL.

For more information, see the link posted in comments.♥️

Are you interested in exploring non-traditional relationships and challenging hetero-normative standards with like-minded people? JOIN OUR Ethical Non-Monogamy Support Group ENM Support Group Registration 2 Name * First Name Last Name Email * Phone * ( # # #) # # # # # # # What is your preferred contact met...

01/11/2022

What Not To Do After A Breakup, and What To Do Instead

Breakups can bring up anxiety and distress, and cause us to behave uncharacteristically.

See the images, above, for 5 “Dos and Don’ts” after a breakup. Follow these tips to ensure you stay healthy in the short and long term.

What to do with this information:

1. Visit the blog post for a bunch more tips on how to cope, in healthy ways, in the aftermath of a breakup. (Link in profile)

2. Save this post to encourage yourself during a difficult moment. ♥️

28/10/2022

Going through a breakup? You may be using one of these five coping strategies that are harmful in the long-term. Learn what to do, instead. 💔

Breakups are unnerving. They challenge your sense of stability and safety, and often initiate feelings of insecurity, loneliness, and failure. It’s common for men to default to a “power through this” approach to breakups, which works to an extent, but also leaves experiences from the relations...

20/10/2022

For the men in the room! "Myths About Relationships Are Hampering Your Love Life," via The Good Men Project

Link to article--> https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/myths-about-relationships-are-hampering-your-love-life

Do you believe in these four relationship myths? Maybe it's time to let go.

19/10/2022

Authors of a recent study conclude: "Materialism is not an isolated life priority; as the pursuit of money and worldly possessions are prioritized, other dimensions of life are necessarily deemphasized." Conclusion: For materially-focused individuals, relationships take a backseat. 💔

The value that some people place on personal relationships is dropping fast, as they choose to covet material wealth, according to experts and a recent consumer survey. Here's why it's troubling.