Renew Counseling and Family Services

06/06/2021

? What may look like hyperactivity in little ones could actually be "sleep deprivation." Toddlers and preschoolers often act less tired as exhaustion sets in. Hyperactive behavior, fidgeting, and loudness are not always signs of excessive energy; rather, they can be a wiped-out toddler’s last-ditch effort to stay awake. Although there are a number of reasons for sleep deprivation, one we hear about frequently is enlarged tonsils and/or adenoids which may cause snoring and interrupted sleep.
https://www.whattoexpect.com/toddler-behavior/toddler-sleep.aspx?fbclid=IwAR2_QWdMaUwDfqFxr_If5TE5s1mDEKJpuBln2SQ-vrF8FRUgqaAQ214NbjY

15/03/2021

When we listen ‘between the lines’ to our children’s behavior *and to our own behavior* it can provide deep insight into the condition of our hearts and the state of our relationship, revealing buried pain, inner struggles, unmet needs, unspoken fears, hidden triggers, and more.
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Our response to our children’s behavior can communicate that they are seen, they are heard, they matter, they are safe, and they are loved beyond measure or condition.
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Or it can communicate our own pain, stress, struggles, needs, fears, and triggers, leaving our children to cope with their inner world alone or, worse, making them feel responsible for helping us to cope with ours.
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So before you respond to the little person in front of you, pay attention to the little person inside of you.
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Take an honest look at your own behavior.
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Listen quietly to your own pain, stress, struggles, needs, fears, and triggers.
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And parent that inner child tenderly, wisely, and peacefully.
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Then do the same for the child in front of you.
- L.R.Knost
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💞Peaceful Parenting Resources: http://t.co/T8goym3P6Z 💞
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Please respect the work of authors, photographers, and artists. You are welcome to share provided you include appropriate credit and do not crop out author’s names from quote memes. Thank you. 🙂
www.LRKnost.com
Fighting a rare, incurable cancer, but I'm still here!💞 L.R.

04/03/2021

Judgment invites disconnection. Compassion invites connection. Children require the latter to grow in their two most primary emotional and relational needs - feeling safe in attachment and authenticity.

Next time you feel critical ask yourself why your child’s feelings, needs, or behavior are bothering you so much. Are they doing or not doing something you would have been shamed or criticized for? Recognize a trauma reminder. The emotion you feel reminds you of a time when you felt you had to choose between self-acceptance and belonging. It is never favorable to make a child choose between both these vital needs. Yet, it is familiar and passed down until someone works at disrupting the pattern.

We can help children adopt values, follow requests, or develop skills by modeling them or connecting through non-threatening communication to cultivate collaboration. We never have to resort to shame and blame. When we do, it is up to us to apologize.

Eg) “I notice there are sticky fingerprints on the lounge walls, can you wipe them off with this sponge, please?

Opposed to, “Why do you always have to be so messy and inconsiderate!? If it wasn't for me this place would be a dump.”

To break the pattern of critical parenting we can practice being curious about what we and our children need to feel safe connecting and communicating to invite cooperation.

When we make mistakes, we can always apologize and try again. It is up to the parent to reconnect and repair through right relationship.

We need to give ourselves the same compassion we aspire to give our children and give the grace we hope to receive.

ꕥ www.LeliaSchott.com ꕥ

04/03/2021

https://momsoftweensandteens.com/am-i-a-bad-mom-my-teenager-hates-me/?fbclid=IwAR3UoPk9z3eEmVX-ZaeFygqoRYClKWQEXcB5dibH0-HH3pR8mdpMKvQw-QA

If you ask me, we don’t need permission to be a little crazy; we’re raising teenagers after all, and if you sometimes feel a little crazy, you're not alone!

11/02/2021

Reasons children lie:
- To avoid getting into trouble
- To fit in with others or avoid ridicule (lie about possessions, interests, experiences, etc.)
- To do something they are not allowed to do
- They sometimes lie just for fun. It’s a way that they incorporate their imaginative world into their reality. Children’s minds are naturally imaginative in nature and often the line between reality and fantasy can be a little blurry
- To make someone happy/avoid hurting someone’s feelings. What we call “a white lie.”
- To cover for an adult or other child who asked them to lie

Children don’t generally lie maliciously. Certainly one lie is not a sign that your child is going to be a dishonest person. They are still learning about the truth and how lies work. They won’t always get it right. It’s important they know it is ok to get caught in a lie, what matters is telling the truth, eventually. And not to just uphold some sort of arbitrary moral code that even the adults who preach it can’t follow.

I think most people could look at many of the reasons children lie, and recall a time in your own life when you lied for the same reason. Lying is an adaptive social strategy we use to navigate and control situations where the truth may not result in a positive outcome. Unconditional love and acceptance takes away the need to lie, in many cases, resulting in less lying.

Responsive Parenting:

With love,
Lelia

🌞 www.LeliaSchott.com 🌞

30/12/2020

Dysregulation of the stress response system makes PTSD a mind-body condition.

23/11/2020

Shared by SELspace.

23/11/2020

Fun! .... 16 types of play

repost

27/08/2020

15/08/2020

Signs that is it time to do some work on your boundaries ♡