02/14/2026
Happy Valentines Day! Iโm immensely grateful for the love my beautiful spirits have brought me in this life. ๐
Once again, love drives me on, that loosener of limbs, bittersweet creature against which nothing can be done.โ โ Sappho
I once shared twelve years with a woman who loved me deeply. Our paths eventually diverged because our spiritual journeys called us in different directions, but for more than a decade we built a quiet, devoted life together. When we first met, she was twenty-nine and had never been in a long-term relationship. She chose a different life with me where she didnโt engage in casual s*x, stopped drinking, let go of unhealthy friends and family, put me on the title of her house in Los Angeles, and committed to loyalty. She said she had never known love like mine, and Iโm still grateful for the stability we shared, for the security, the tenderness, and the life we helped each other build.
After our relationship ended, I filled my time with events and bright, passing connections. From the outside, it all shimmered, but underneath the sparkle, I felt a quieter truth stirring in my chest. I didnโt want a hundred dazzling acquaintances; I wanted one woman, one deep love, one relationship where we could share our fears and hopes, sit together in our tenderness, serve the spirits quietly, and be brave enough to be vulnerable. To me, vulnerability has always felt sacred, like a small candle we keep lit for each other in our own darkness.
To love at all is to be vulnerable.โ C.S. Lewis
I decided to devote myself to healing and embraced a new direction. I ceased my occasional drinking, changed my diet, became celibate, and committed to therapy. I wanted to meet myself honestly because I believed I couldnโt love authentically without doing that work. I hoped for the kind of love that softens you, reshapes you, and teaches you how to stay when staying is hard. There is a strong correlation between deep relationships and well-being. Good relationships lead to health and happiness, but those relationships must be nurtured. Love, when it is cared for, becomes medicine for the soul.
For me, being single wasnโt freedom; healing, letting my feelings flow, and love are what set me free. I wanted to let love change me, and it takes courage to surrender to love, to open your heart and trust someone with the most fragile parts of yourself. Love is freedom. No one Iโve loved has ever forced me to love them. When I love, I do it freely, unconditionally, and with my whole heart. At the end of my life, I want to remember how deeply I loved, how deeply I was loved, and how devoted we were to each other. True love matters more to me than success or spectacle.
My most meaningful relationship is formed between two imperfect people who choose to grow together. Real love is an opportunity for transformation, for smoothing each otherโs rough edges with trust, patience, and devotion, until what once felt sharp becomes gentle in the hands of the one who loves you. Iโm grateful that love found me, and I still believe in the kind of love that is deep, devoted, and brave enough to transform a life.
"I love her, and that's the beginning and end of everything." โ F Scott Fitzgerald
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