Habit Project

09/12/2022

Here's my latest blog post called, "Punched in the face."
The title says it all. :)

Punched in the face September 3, 2022 by WSong At age 11, the bully and I met near my house after school. (By the way, before you read any further, take a moment to think about an issue you’d like to resolve. Then this hypnotic story will be more useful and not simply a regular story. Now back to ...

03/02/2018

Video supplement to Day 21 of 21, "My secret shame."

My own secret shame. I recommend reading the prior post before watching the video. It’ll make more sense.

And the video link is below. If you prefer the actual link, here it is.

From San Francisco hypnotherapist, William Song: "Five years ago, I posted five episodes of Project Hypnosis on YouTube. And since then, I haven't posted. Wh...

02/24/2018

Day 21 of 21: My secret shame

Some of you know my big dream. I want to help bring hypnotherapy into the mainstream. How? By leveraging one of the most powerful forces ever created: a TV show.

I've had this dream for many years, to create, produce, and host the TV show. The show would dispel myths, show client sessions, and teach viewers simple emotional management skills for living a happier life.

So, I taught myself the basics of film. I learned about camera angles, lighting, sound, video editing, and all the other skills required to be a one-person crew. When money's tight, you get creative. And for an amateur, the results were pretty good. I was happy with those five episodes showing a client's session.

I uploaded those five videos to my YouTube channel, and "Project Hypnosis" was born. My YouTube channel would be where I tested out my ideas, gained a large audience, and then be able to credibly approach a TV production company.

= = = = = The fears = = = = =

But years went by since those first five episodes. Obviously, I had major block in releasing more videos. Over the years, here are a few fears my subconscious mind (SCM, for short) expressed.

SCM: "The TV show is a good idea. But there are many hypnotists more skilled than you, more charismatic than you, just better than you. Let them do it."

SCM: "What if you get the TV show, and it quickly gets canceled? You'll have blown a big opportunity to help millions of people. That'd be so embarrassing getting canceled early."

SCM: "What if the TV show is a hit? You value your privacy. You don't want people always coming up to when you're at the grocery store or at a restaurant."

SCM: "What if you lose Holly as you pursue this idea? Remember when you worked so hard in the finance field? You almost lost her, man. Do you want to risk it?"

SCM: "Who do you think you are to have such a big dream? Other people can dream that big. Not you."

Though I'd solved many personal and business issues on my own, this one felt too big. So, I did end up working with other practitioners to help me, including people who did energy work, coaching, hypnotherapy, etc.

= = = = = The start of a shift = = = = =

Despite all my self-work and the help I received from others, it wasn't enough. Externally, no new videos. But internally, I began to have a shift.

And after all that work, my conclusion was this. I felt deep fear, deep shame, big ego.

I felt deep shame that I hadn't made faster progress. I felt deep fear, that doing this TV show could end badly for me. And my subconscious felt a strong need to protect our big ego.

When I say big ego, I don't mean it that I thought I was better than everyone else. I mean the opposite. I'm talking my big ego that was terrified of both a hit TV show and a flop TV show. A big ego means it feels the need to protect itself from taking a big scary risk. In many contexts, my ego allowed me take big risks. But not when it came to the TV show.

When did I realize that ego was the root problem? Today, as I worked on this final post of the writing challenge.

= = = = = But then, a lightning bolt! = = = = =

Then inspiration struck. If my subconscious had sabotaged all my attempts at releasing a video, I would release a super simple video without any editing, with poor lighting, no tripod, no real prep. Without me shaving or getting dressed. (Don't worry, I am wearing casual clothes in the video.)

This video would be one that my subconscious and I could watch together. So, into my handheld smartphone camera, I spoke to my subconscious mind despite not feeling so great. I offered it my hand in support, said we're in this together. And that we can talk each day. And that this dream is beyond us, it's not really about us.

And I intend to release the video over the weekend, after the writing challenge is done.

My writing instructor's theme was to share a secret and possibly tie that into sharing an offer with the reader, why they might want to do business with us.

Well, I have no such offer. I went a different route and chose to share my secret shame. Not the best way to get new clients, but it felt like the right way to write this post, so I'm going with it. These 21 days of writing has been a challenge, but it's also been one of the best experiences of my life.

And just because I help clients with their issues doesn't make me immune to setbacks, struggle, and frustration in my own life. My clients and I are equally human. We all have our own set of challenges and our own strengths.

= = = = = Report card, the cycle continues? = = = = =

When I was a kid and brought home a report card with 5 As and 1 B, my mom would always focus on the B. Rarely did I get praise for the 5 high grades.

When it comes to the TV show, I think I've allowed myself to focus on what isn't working, to focus on what's missing. I haven't given enough kudos to my subconscious for helping me solve so many other issues.

Well, subconscious. I'm sorry. I will focus more on all the As rather than the single B. Before today, I didn't fully appreciate how terrified you were of the TV show idea. Now that I know, I'll do more to listen to you in a way I couldn't before. And I'll support you more than I have.

Dear reader, now you know my secret shame. You know how frustrated I've been to have an issue drag on for years. I sometimes criticized myself saying, "How could I let this issue drag on for so long?" I've felt shame, even though I know that shame only makes it worse. It's funny, because I've let go of shame in so many areas of life. But not in every context, obviously.

Subconscious, I apologize for not showing you enough respect, for bringing shame into the equation. And my subconscious just said, "Thank you. You can release the video when you're ready. I'm cool with that."

02/22/2018

Day 20 of 21: The problem with making a big change using hypnosis

When a client has a big problem, I will sometimes share three options with the client.

1. Let's resolve that big problem.
2. Let's ignore that big problem.
3. Let's put the big problem on the shelf for a while, and let's solve a small problem, first.

If I share the three options, most clients are expecting option #1. But she's confused by #2 and #3.

When I share options #2 and #3, I explain the why. Maybe not completely, but enough for it to start to make sense.

Later I'll say more about options #2 and #3, especially #3. But before that, let's start by looking at the bigger picture of change.

= = = = = Bigger picture of creating change = = = = =

When a client wants to solve a big problem, that means she's going to create a really big change. Guess who tends to dislike really big change? Yup, our friend, the subconscious mind.

The subconscious usually prefers the status quo. Not in every context, but generally speaking, it wants things to be the same. It feels familiar, comfortable, and less risky.

For example, I remember working with a client who drank too much. Yes, the client knew it was causing him problems. But he couldn't help himself. He had to drink.

Why? His subconscious mind wanted things to remain the same, despite the downsides of drinking too much. But together, we were able to help his subconscious mind stop fearing change. And the client solved his problem.

Though I didn't say this to him, I addressed his drinking problem from an engineering or scientific experiment perspective.

My big goal was to collect data from him. I asked him direct questions, indirect questions, watched his body language, etc. Sometimes the best data is the data the client is unaware that I'm collecting. That way, the subconscious doesn't have the chance to shade its answer.

= = = = = Why collect data? = = = = =

Do I need to know everything about the client? Heck, no. I don't want to know their entire life history. Sometimes I need a few data points, and sometimes I need a lot to get started. And yes, you may have noticed that I differentiate between the client and the problem.

The client is a human being. They are doing a behavior. They have a problem. But they are not the problem.

The term alcoholic is a useful one, and it's one I rarely use. It's an identity, a label. And the client is much more than their problem and a label.

A label has power over us. I prefer to say the client is a human being who happens to have a problem. And the problem has a behavior associated with it. He has an internal conflict, and he'd like to resolve it.

Just saying what I said begins to help the client to shift toward a solution.

Why do I collect data instead of going to problem-solving mode? Because it's hard to solve a problem that you haven't understood. If I don't understand how the problem functions, the structure of it, then I need to collect data.

Data may involve the client's conscious values, conscious beliefs, conscious behaviors, and conscious conflicts. And it may involve the subconscious version of all of that. Reading the client's body language also gives me good data.

If I'm doing a phone session, I can also read them even if I can't see them, because I can hone in on the pauses, speed of speech, tonality, use of pronouns, use of verb tenses, etc.

As you can tell, I collect data both overtly and covertly. After I collect enough data, I form a hypothesis, i.e., an educated guess.

= = = = = Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3. Is this mic on? = = = = =

After I form a hypothesis, I test it. How is factor A interacting with factor B? How is factor A interacting with factor C? How are B and C interacting? What about D? Etc. At this point, I'm testing out how things affect each other.

I want to understand the problem from a deeper, structural level, how the problem keeps functioning, what values and beliefs are required to keep it alive, what non-values/non-beliefs may be factors, etc.

A lot of my testing is done covertly. No need to bog my client down with all the nitty gritty details. Sometimes the data collection itself will create shifts within the client's subconscious mind. Ex. If I ask, "What'd you have for lunch today?" the client may think it's an innocent question. But it's not. I really don't care what he had for lunch.

Sometimes data collection isn't about getting a direct answer. Sometimes the actual verbal answer isn't important at all. But I'll leave that mysterious for now.

By the way, did you know that Italy is much more aware of gluten issues than the U.S.? I learned that a few months ago. They even test children at a young age for gluten issues. Wow. Anyway, back to the idea of testing.

After doing all my testing, the data will indicate whether to...
1. Keep my hypothesis intact.
2. Or refine my hypothesis.
3. Or discard my hypothesis.

I'm not attached to what the data tells me. I'd rather drop a hypothesis as soon as I realize it's not right for me. That way I can quickly pivot to a new hypothesis, or at least collect more data. But holding onto something that's no longer useful, well, I'd rather not. I do enjoy a good kung pao chicken, that's for sure. Yes, that's a tangent.

= = = = = Again, it's all that and a bag of chips (old school slang's the best) = = = = =

Most of what I do revolves around collecting data. It may not be glamorous, but it's the foundation of helping the client. In a sense, a hypnotist is a data collector, engineer, and scientist looking for how beliefs interact, how the issue functions, what's the structure, etc.

Sometimes the client's subconscious will give me the solution on a silver platter. Other times it will give me just enough data that I can design the solution. And sometimes it's a nice blend of both their subconscious and my subconscious.

Because when the client's in hypnosis, so am I. Well, technically I'm in trance before they go into trance. Why do I go into trance first? I do my best work in trance. From their perspective, they think I'm just chatting normally. But they're actually talking to my subconscious.

Consciously, I can't possibly keep track of all the data points and synthesize it all effectively. My subconscious is simply better at that than my conscious mind.

= = = = = Circling back to the start = = = = =

Here's why option #2, ignore the big problem, is helpful. Sometimes, the really big problem isn't real. It's a bit of an illusion. I'm not saying the impact isn't real. What I'm saying is that trying to directly address the big problem will be fruitless in some cases. I'll leave that mysterious for now as if I say too much, as it's a longer conversation.

But I will address option #3, putting the big issue on the shelf and instead solving a smaller issue, first. If it's a really big problem, and the subconscious is scared of change, then it'll be really scared of a really big change.

That's why sometimes the best strategy is to put the big issue on the shelf, and instead, solve a small problem. By solving an appropriate smaller problem, the client can gain momentum, resources, and skills. And as the clients gets those things, he'll be able to work up to the point he can handle the big problem.

Instead of running a marathon, sometimes it's better for the client to run around the block. And then work up to running a mile. And so on. Tackling smaller changes gives him what he needs to later tackle the big change. And when that happens, because of the prior work, that big problem will no longer be so big. The fear will no longer be so big.

And almost as if by magic, handling that big problem will feel much easier. In some cases, the client may even solve it without even trying.

How do I know if option #1, #2, or #3 is appropriate? I collect data. You may call me a hypnotist. But you can also call me a hypnotic engineer or even a hypnotic detective.

Or as Brad Pitt calls me, Holly's husband, the guy who answers her home phone.

02/22/2018

Day 19 of 21: I fell flat on my face.

Fairly soon upon became a hypnotherapist, I had business consulting clients from San Francisco hire me.

They weren't hiring me to be the company's hypnotist. They wanted me to apply my hypnotherapy, business, and finance skills, not actually hypnotize their executives or staff.

My corporate clients wanted something beyond what they could find in traditional business consultants. You could say they wanted a consultant that could apply hypnotherapy without hypnotizing people.

One day a golden opportunity fell into my lap. "Sam" was a sales rep, and he knew what I could do for sales reps. He asked if I'd be interested in being a guest speaker to help the sales team. Well, this could lead to a lucrative business consulting project at his company, so I was excited.

He put me in touch with his boss, and we discussed the arrangements, and I thought Sam's boss and I were on the same page.

Well, I show up to present to their sales team, and I quickly realize that some of the reps don't want to be there. In fact, some of them had no idea why I was even at the meeting.

As you can imagine, things quickly went downhill from there. I had prepared for an audience that was ready to learn hypnosis skills. Ready to better serve their clients and generate more sales. But I fell flat on my face by the end.

I'd broken a cardinal rule in sales: don't talk to everyone; only talk to people who are prequalified. It hadn't dawned on me before that day that people would be forced to attend my presentation.

What did I learn? I learned that I didn't ask enough questions to their boss. Had I asked enough, I would have had the chance to decline the invitation to speak. Or I would have modified the arrangement to make sure I'd be useful to them.

I also learned that I really don't want to convince people that they should listen to my presentation. If this were to happen today, I could quickly change my presentation so that even the most hostile sales reps would be at least open to hearing some new ideas. But more likely, I just wouldn't speak under those conditions.

It's challenging enough to help people who ask for help. It's so much harder to help people who are forced to be there. There are ways to help people that don't want to be there, but it's really hard work. And it's just now what I want to do.

Sometimes a prospective hypnotherapy client will voice a concern that my corporate clients don't usually voice. The person will say something like this, and it could be for almost any issue. I'll use weight in this example.

She'll say, "William, I really want to lose weight. But I don't think I'm motivated enough, I'm not strong enough mentally to do it. My will power isn't strong enough."

And I'll reply, "If you really want to lose weight, relying on motivation and will power is a tough way to do it. You'll find it easier to lose weight, permanently, if you get the cooperation of the part of you that controls your weight. And that's your subconscious mind..."

And after I explain all that, often they have a moment of clarity. They understand that it's not about working so hard. It's about building a strong relationship with their subconscious. In a way, it's about the process of becoming friends.

Of course, I do stack the deck to increase the chances she'll have that moment of clarity. I don't want to rely on a single conversation to give them clarity. It's more certain if I prepare them prior to our consultation.

Before she arrives for the free consultation, I've prepared her in ways both overt and covert. So, when she arrives, she's much more open to having that moment of clarity. And in many cases, the consultation is about her giving herself permission to move forward to lose the weight.

In other words, if I'm doing my job well prior to the consultation, I don't really need to sell at the consultation. Instead, I gently guide her to the moment of clarity. And I give her the space to figure out if she's going to give herself permission... permission to give herself the gift she wants to give herself.

Aggressive sales tactics don't appeal to me. Helping the prospective client sort through her concerns and figure out what she needs to figure out, well, that's really what sales is about. It's really about her, the client, and not really about me. Gently guiding and giving her the space makes the difference.

02/21/2018

Day 18 of 21: Systems thinking, yawn

Want to quickly shut down a conversation at a party? Start talking about systems thinking. Most people will politely excuse themselves.

That's why I don't bring up systems thinking when I first meet someone. I politely wait at least two minutes. Kidding, mostly.

I don't recall when I started thinking in systems or in structural ways, but I can remember being a senior in high school working at a fast food restaurant.

And when we got busy, we really got busy. So busy, as a fry cook, it was impossible to keep up at times. The orders appeared too quickly on my monitor, and I had to manage multiple fryer buckets while also moving around my work station to get items.

But then I had an insight. Why do I need to simply react? I can change the system I work under. I will analyze what I can do to prepare for the rush, and then when the rush hits, I'll be ready for it.

As a small example, the chicken tenders were in the refrigerator, or wait, was it the freezer? Hmm... I think it was the refrigerator. Or was it the freezer? Wait a minute, I think it was the refrigerator. Oh, let's drop it, since it's not what we need. Let's just say refrigerator.

I would normally go to the refrigerator, grab the right number of chicken tenders, and then walk to the fryer. Then I'd put them into the fryer.

But I had a new idea! Why waste time counting the right number of chicken tenders? I could save time by improving the system. I then started putting the right number of chicken tenders into small containers. That way, if someone ordered it, I could quickly grab a single container and skip the counting step, skip the transferring the tenders one by one, and thus save time.

Sure, I couldn't control the flow of orders. But I could be more prepared for the giant wave coming my way.

And in my hypnotherapy practice, I can't control all the variables. But by thinking in systems, and also thinking about bigger structures, I can manage the change process in a more comprehensive manner.

As for structures, it's about understanding the client's issue in a deeper way, so I don't get distracted by the bring shiny objects we talk about. So I don't get distracted by the details that don't affect the change. And instead I can focus on the elements that do matter.

This isn't an easy thing to do. But in my opinion, that's the job of a hypnotist, to learn how to separate the details that matter from those than distract.

02/20/2018

Day 17 of 21: Blackjack blues

When I was in my 20s, I wanted to be a hedge fund manager and later own a hedge fund. I was working at a financial services firm, and I wasn't getting paid much. At some point, I had the idea to supplement my income by playing blackjack.

What inspired that idea? I don't recall. But I do recall getting excited by it. As I began to teach myself the game, I quickly realized that if I went down this road, I would be a blackjack robot.

Because the system I was learning was all about counting cards. There was no creativity, no artistry, no real judgement on my part. If I did this, I'd just be a robot, mechanically reacting based on the numbers.

And as I began to deeply understand what this meant, I realized that I would be playing blackjack purely for the money. I would not enjoy the actual game, because I would have no real influence. Without the ability to decide, my actions would be automatic. I'd be a robot.

Now, as I said, I wasn't getting paid much in my job. A part-time blackjack income would have been nice. But in the end, spending many hours in casinos counting cards wasn't how I wanted to spend my time.

At that time, being a robot just didn't sit well with me. I needed to gain satisfaction, to enjoy on some level, what I was doing. And having zero input to make a decision would have made me a robot. And that wasn't acceptable to me, even if the money may have been welcome.

In the end, I decided to pass on playing blackjack. Becoming a robot was too high a price for the extra income.

= = = = = Lessons = = = = =

One lesson I learned from my short study in blackjack was that you had to have an edge. If the house had an edge over you, then there was no point in playing blackjack. But if you had enough of an edge over the house, you could print money.

In the hedge fund, or even money management world, you also need an edge. As I type this, I think about Warren Buffet, one of the wealthiest people in the world. He's also one of the best money managers of all time. His record is better than most mutual fund and hedge fund managers.

What's his secret? He has an edge versus the rest of Wall Street. When I was much younger, I wanted to understand how Warren Buffet became so successful. And after reading about his methods, I concluded that how he invested made perfect sense. Yes, he did have an edge versus other players.

Though his method made perfect sense, I also realized it wasn't the method for me. What I've learned is that having an edge isn't enough. The edge has to be right for each person. And Warren's method, though wonderful, wouldn't work for me.

His method was great for his personality. I needed one for my personality.

= = = = = Hypnotic systems = = = = =

And the same goes for hypnotherapy systems. My profession has thousands and thousands of techniques. You could spend many lifetimes learning all these techniques.

Along with those thousands of techniques, I'd say there are at least a few hundred approaches or models of change. But even with fewer approaches, it would still take many lifetimes to learn them all.

In short, when someone says they've done hypnotherapy, it'd be more accurate for them to say, "William, I've used approach #517 with my last hypnotist. But I'm open to using any of the other hundreds of approaches."

And just as an investment method needed to suit my personality, the same applies to hypnotherapists and choosing an approach.

Some focus more on helping people with goals. Some focus more on helping people with issues to resolve.

Some focus more on spiritual matters. Others stay firmly rooted in the practical day-to-day world.

That's why I say if you had 100 hypnotists in a room, and you had a session with each of them on the same issue, you could have 100 different experiences. In some cases, you would think you weren't even doing hypnotherapy.

Sometimes a client will say, "William, when you were telling me stories and going off on tangents, I thought you were crazy. I thought what does this have to do with me? And I was certain that I wasn't hypnotized. But as I got up from the chair, I realized was hypnotized. Still don't understand how the stories relate to me, but I'm now open to the stories."

That's the funny thing about hypnosis. Often you can be hypnotized, and you'll the last one to know. Funny, right?

02/17/2018

Day 16 of 21: Country mouse. Update on insomnia.

Besides professional hypnotherapists, I'd say parents are also good at shaping beliefs.

My mom would hypnotize me, as all parents do, by repeating the same things over and over.

When I was a kid, teenager, and adult, my mom would often say, "You're a country mouse... You're too innocent... You trust people too much, and they'll take advantage of you."

Now, I'm not saying she was trying to hypnotize me. But when you're a young kid, you can be greatly influenced by adults. Sometimes that influence makes a kid think, "Yes, I agree. I am that way." And sometimes the influence makes the kid think the opposite, "Mom, you're wrong."

At some point, my mom's unintentional hypnotic words had me thinking, "Mom, you're wrong."

Though she gave the same message hundreds, if not thousands, of times, of me being a country mouse, I attended a university in a big city, Los Angeles. After graduating, I lived in another big city, San Diego. After San Diego, I moved to San Francisco. Now I live next to San Francisco in a suburb, but I still work in San Francisco.

And along the way of living in big cities as an adult, sometime in my 30s (or was it 40s), my mom said, "Maybe you're not such a country mouse anymore."

It may have taken a few decades for her to realize it, but yeah, I'm a city mouse.

She was right about one thing. Along the way, I did trust people too much. And sometimes I did get taken advantage of. But not nearly as much as she feared. Maybe I didn't get hurt so much, because her words had the opposite impact, almost protecting me.

And I still trust people, sometimes a bit too much at times. But I rarely get hurt because of it. That's how I play the balance game, now.

By playing this way, I can be more free to trust, because I know I'll rarely get hurt. That may seem mysterious on what I mean, and for now, I'll leave it mysterious. I may address this in more detail in a future post if people ask.

= = = = = Update from the previous post = = = = =

If you read my last post, you know that I discovered that my staying up late was caused by my subconscious mind.

And in the last post, I shared the conversation we had in hypnosis. (If you haven't read the last post, I'll wait here until you finish. The next section will make more sense if you see it, first.)

Now you're back. Okay, so you know that my subconscious liked my idea of holding hands, of keeping him safe, and of working as a team. For the last few weeks, I'd been sleeping around 1:00 AM, which is very late for me.

Well, tonight around 10:30 PM, I suddenly got really tired. That's unusual. Then I remembered the deal we'd made, and I thought, "Huh, I wonder if this is my subconscious saying it's okay to sleep."

But I'd forgotten to finish writing and posting for my 21-day writing challenge, so I've been typing that up. But 10:30 PM was a great time to feel tired, and after I post this, I'm tired enough to sleep quickly. Subconscious mind, thank you for making me tired.

And I will keep my promise to you, to keep you safe, to make sure our actions on these projects are okay with you. Subconscious, you and I area a team. Always.

02/16/2018

Day 15 of 21: Alcohol. Too much TV.

Except for a very brief alcohol experiment in my 20s, I've rarely had alcohol in my glass before or since.

When it's been in my glass, it's usually because we were all raising our glass during a wedding toast or some celebration. While everyone raised their glass and drank their wine, I'd raise my glass and pretend to drink. And I'd put my glass down, full.

When people have asked why I don't drink, I keep it polite and always say, "I don't like alcohol. I don't like the taste."

But if I wanted to go beyond polite conversation, which I never have, I'd say, "When I was younger, I was scared that I could become an alcoholic." You're the first to know this secret.

If I'm at a party, I want to be there, fully be there. And for me, alcohol doesn't let me do that. It alters my state. And I'd rather feel good without alcohol.

I don't mind if other people drink. When I was younger, for many of my friends, the whole point of going to a party was to get into an altered state. And over the years, I've had some friends and colleagues who were alcoholics, albeit high-functioning alcoholics.

Though I don't drink, I'm no different than my clients who have issues with alcohol, hard drugs, smoking, or food. On a deep human level, we all have our compulsions, it's just a matter of how much damage they do to us.

In a previous post, I talked about self-soothing. That's a big part of being human, the desire to feel better. To feel good. And to feel better, we may act in self-destructive ways or in helpful ways.

Recently I was talking to someone who asked me about my own limiting beliefs. I rattled off quite a few. If he had the time, I could have talked for hours.

Don't get me wrong. I appreciate the progress I've made in resolving a lot of my past. When I look back at my days of rage versus the more peaceful man I am today, I'm thankful that I never went to jail. I'm thankful that I had some dark experiences, because it helps me understand my clients. And my past has made me the man I am today.

Yet even with all the resolving I've done, I have much to resolve on my journey.

Here's an example. It's not dramatic, it's just something that's recent that's been on my mind.

Normally, I can go to bed at a reasonable time and fall asleep within moments.

But recently, I've stayed up late. Why? I'm upset at my wife, Holly, and I'm upset at myself. I'd rather not mention the details; let's just say it's standard marriage stuff.

And rather than deal with what's upsetting me, I've just watched TV later than intended. It's now become a compulsion, because I know it's unhealthy, yet I keep doing it.

Could I resolve this by using self-hypnosis to talk to my subconscious mind? Sure. In fact, I could probably get this resolved pretty quickly if I did that.

But, I haven't done it, because my subconscious mind was brilliant. It made me forget that I could easily solve this problem. In fact, it wasn't until tonight that I realized I could solve this pretty easily.

My subconscious has used this brilliant strategy before, meaning it's made me forget I could solve an issue. It's made me think that being upset was the way to go. But deep down, I don't want to be upset at Holly or myself. I'd rather get this resolved.

And until tonight, my subconscious had made me forget I had the power to solve this problem. Oh, subconscious, you sneaky guy! But I'm not angry at you. I'm sure you did it for a reason you think is good.

Now that I've caught onto his strategy, I'll have a little chat and tell you what happened..... ... ...
Okay, I'm back after hypnotizing myself. Here's the quick version of what happened when I spoke with my subconscious mind (SCM).

William: "Hey subconscious, how are you?"
SCM: "I'm okay."

William: "Are you upset with Holly?"
SCM: "No, not anymore."

William: "What's the reason we've been staying up late watching TV?"
SCM: "I'm trying to keep you from getting some important things done the next day."

William: "What would happen if I got them done?"
SCM: "You'd move forward on those projects, and that scares me."

William: "What do you mean?"
SCM: "You know (SCM tells me, but I'll keep that private)... and that really scares me."

William: "You know these projects are important to me, right?"
SCM: "Yes."

William: "And you know I want you to feel safe, right?"
SCM: "Yes."

William: "To finish these projects, I need your help. I can't do this without you. Would you be open to hearing an idea?"
SCM: "Okay."

William: "Each step of the way, we'll talk. I'll make sure you feel safe during each step. And if you don't feel safe, we'll slow down until you do feel safe. And I'll hold your hand. Does that sound good?"
SCM: "Yes."

William: "Here's my hand. You can hold it." (The subconscious part I've been speaking with takes my hand, and I can sense that he feels good. He's a young part, really just a scared child. That's pretty common during hypnosis to be speaking with younger subconscious parts.)

During our chat, I didn't want to argue, attack, or make my subconscious feel badly about its behavior. My goal was to have a peaceful resolution, to have my subconscious help me rather than hinder me.

Of course, the proof is in the pudding. I'll see whether I sleep earlier. And of course, I need to do my part. I told my subconscious that we'd talk every step of the way.

I have a promise to keep. As long as I keep my promise, my subconscious will keep his. Even though we sometimes disagree, no matter what, we're a team.