08/29/2025
Facing menopause difficulties? A considerable number of clients have approached me struggling with menopausal symptoms. I've discovered some highly beneficial articles. It's essential to note that these articles were not written by me; I'm sharing for informational purposes. Whether it’s finding your woman tribe, finding the perfect essential oil or therapist.  Your environment socially and physically will impact what you expose yourself to.
 How friends can ease your menopause
From a shoulder to cry on to a confidante to giggle with, friends can offer support and even help ease your menopause symptoms
• Women’s social lives can be impacted by menopausal symptoms
• Those in social networks are more likely to be positive about menopause and less likely to have depressive symptoms
• Starting menopause conversations can open up friendships
Right now, millions of women worldwide are menopausal. So, you’re certainly not alone even though it can, at times, feel that way. For some women, symptoms of the perimenopause and menopause can be isolating, for numerous reasons.
On a physical level, heavy periods, hot flushes, muscle and joint pain or tiredness may prevent you from seeing your friends as much as you used to or would like to. Psychologically, a lack of confidence, loss of joy, brain fog or anxiety can have an effect. In fact, a study found that over a third of women reported that their social life had been impacted by menopausal symptoms, with 26% saying they felt less outgoing, and 19% no longer enjoying social situations [1].
Users of the balance app’s community pages have shared their struggles with socialising – some women talk about wanting to stay in the safe space of home, others say they hide their symptoms, which can be exhausting, while another reported she ‘doesn’t have the energy or headspace for socialising at all’.
Beyond the desire to socialise, some women don’t feel understood. Even though you know that other women must be going through the menopause, it can sometimes feel like they might not understand your experience. After all, everyone’s experience is different and well-meaning friends might not appreciate the effect your symptoms have on you, especially if they seem to be ‘breezing through’.
Then again, you might be the first woman in your friendship group to be experiencing symptoms, especially if you are going through a surgical menopause or early menopause. It can be hard to confide in friends who may not be in a similar stage of life.
RELATED: Loneliness and the menopause (https://www.balance-menopause.com/menopause-library/loneliness-and-the-menopause/)
Why friendships matter
While your instinct might be to become more insular, it’s worth remembering the importance of friendships on your everyday wellbeing and health. Adults who are more socially connected are healthier, live longer, and have a better quality of life than their more isolated peers [2, 3].
But when it comes to perimenopause and menopause, friendship can have a positive effect. To gain more insight into how friendships can be so valuable at this time of life, a survey asked women aged 37 to 65 to report their experiences. Common themes were that friends were a great source of support, comfort and understanding and that relationships with other peri/menopausal women were portrayed as akin to “sisterhoods”. Meaningful menopause-related connections were forged in all areas of everyday life, with women connecting over their experiences in their workplace, or at the gym, for example [4].
As well as offering comfort, friends can be a great source of information about perimenopause and menopause – some women perceive social networks to be more useful resources than doctors or health professionals [5].
RELATED: families, relationships and the power of connection with Julia Samuel (https://www.balance-menopause.com/menopause-library/families-relationships-and-the-power-of-connection-with-julia-samuel/)
How your friends can support you
You may feel unsure if menopause is something you can discuss with your current friends. But think of it this way – they might feel the same! Only by talking about perimenopause and menopause will we learn it. There is no shame in it and if you can talk openly and factually – about menopause being a long-term hormone deficiency – you might help someone else.
If you’re the first one in your friendship group to be experiencing symptoms, talking about it opens the door to others so they, in turn, can ask you questions when they (inevitably) go through it.
You might also be able to use a friend as a sounding board. For instance, if your mental health is suffering, a friend can help you make sense of what you’re experiencing – ask her if she’s noticed changes in you, or if you seem more down or irritable than usual. By initiating the conversation, she’ll know you’re open to support.
If you’re nervous about seeing a healthcare professional about menopause, you can ask a friend to accompany you – and offer to provide her the same support if she needs it.
How can I find my tribe?
While the benefits of friendship during menopause are indisputable, not every woman has a group of friends she feels she can confide in. Midlife can be a tricky time – you may have grown apart from some friends or been so busy friendships have drifted away.
As the previously mentioned survey noted, menopause friends can come from places as varied as work, leisure clubs and even neighbours. You can also ask your healthcare professional if they know of any local face-to-face support groups.
Social media can be helpful, whether it’s for finding local groups via Facebook or workplace events via LinkedIn.
The free balance app (https://www.balance-menopause.com/balance-app/) has community pages, where women share their experiences. Since using the balance app, 79% of women said they felt less alone once they’d read other people’s stories that have resonated with them [6]. In one post on socialising, women shared their views such as how lunchtime get togethers are best as they’re quieter and shorter, and one user said ‘I seem to only be able to tolerate other menopausal/perimenopausal women. I have to mask so much with everyone else.’ Proof indeed that menopausal women make the best friends!
Best Essential Oils for Menopause Symptoms
Clary Sage
Clary sage stands out as one of the most beneficial essential oils for menopause due to its natural estrogen-like compounds called sclareol. This powerful oil may help balance hormonal fluctuations and provide relief from some of the most challenging menopausal symptoms.
Benefits for menopause:
• May help reduce the frequency and intensity of hot flashes
• Supports emotional balance and reduces anxiety
• Can improve sleep quality and reduce nighttime restlessness
• May help regulate menstrual cycles during perimenopause
• Provides natural mood stabilization
How to use: Add 2-3 drops to a diffuser, dilute with carrier oil for abdominal massage, or add to evening bath water. Many women find clary sage particularly effective when used consistently over time rather than just during acute symptoms.
Lavender
Lavender is perhaps the most well-known calming essential oil, making it invaluable for managing the emotional and sleep-related challenges of menopause. Its gentle, familiar scent provides immediate comfort while its therapeutic compounds work to reduce stress and promote relaxation.
Benefits for menopause:
• Significantly improves sleep quality and reduces insomnia
• Helps manage anxiety, irritability, and mood swings
• Provides natural stress relief during overwhelming moments
• May help reduce headache frequency and intensity
• Supports overall emotional well-being
How to use: Diffuse in the bedroom before sleep, apply diluted oil to pulse points, add to pillowcases, or use in relaxing baths. Lavender is gentle enough for daily use and combines well with other calming oils.
Peppermint
Peppermint oil offers immediate cooling relief, making it particularly valuable for managing hot flashes and the physical discomfort that can accompany menopause. Its invigorating properties can also help combat fatigue and mental fog.
Benefits for menopause:
• Provides instant cooling relief during hot flashes
• Helps reduce nausea that some women experience during menopause
• Can alleviate headaches and tension
• Improves mental clarity and reduces brain fog
• Offers energizing effects when fatigue strikes
How to use: Apply diluted oil to the back of the neck during hot flashes, inhale directly from the bottle for quick relief, add to a cooling spritz, or use in foot soaks. Always dilute peppermint oil well, as it can be intense on sensitive skin.
Geranium
Geranium oil is particularly valued for its hormone-balancing properties and ability to support both physical and emotional well-being during menopause. Its floral, uplifting scent can help improve mood while its therapeutic compounds work to regulate various body systems.
Benefits for menopause:
• Supports natural hormone balance and regulation
• Helps reduce water retention and bloating
• Provides mood elevation and emotional stability
• May help regulate body temperature
• Supports healthy skin during hormonal changes
How to use: Add to daily moisturizer, diffuse throughout the day, use in hormone-balancing massage blends, or add to weekly baths. Geranium blends beautifully with other floral oils and can be used regularly as part of a daily routine.
Ylang Ylang
Ylang ylang offers powerful emotional support during menopause, helping to combat the anxiety, depression, and emotional volatility that can accompany hormonal changes. Its exotic, floral scent is both calming and uplifting.
Benefits for menopause:
• Significantly reduces anxiety and promotes calm
• Helps combat depression and emotional lows
• May support healthy blood pressure regulation
• Enhances feelings of self-confidence and femininity
• Can help improve libido and intimacy comfort
How to use: Diffuse during stressful times, add to personal inhalers for on-the-go relief, blend with carrier oil for relaxing massage, or use in romantic settings to support intimacy. Start with small amounts, as ylang ylang can be overwhelming in large concentrations.
Additional Beneficial Oils
Bergamot: Excellent for mood support and reducing anxiety Fennel: May help with digestive issues and bloating Cypress: Supports circulation and may help with water retention Roman Chamomile: Provides gentle calming and sleep support Rose: Offers emotional comfort and may support hormonal balance
The cultural and individual variation in menopause (https://womeninbalance.org/2014/09/17/menopause-around-the-world/) experiences means that different oils may work better for different women. Experimenting with various oils and blends can help you discover what works best for your unique symptom pattern.
How to Use Essential Oils Safely
Safety should always be your top priority when using essential oils during menopause. While these natural remedies are generally gentle, they are highly concentrated and can cause adverse reactions if used improperly.
Dilution Guidelines
Essential oils should almost always be diluted before skin application. For most adults, a 2-3% dilution is appropriate, which means:
• 2-3 drops of essential oil per teaspoon (5ml) of carrier oil
• 12-18 drops of essential oil per ounce (30ml) of carrier oil
Good carrier oils include jojoba, sweet almond, coconut, or grapeseed oil. These neutral oils help deliver the essential oil safely while providing their own skin-nourishing benefits.
Application Methods
Diffusion:
• Add 4-6 drops to a quality diffuser
• Diffuse for 15-30 minutes at a time
• Ensure adequate room ventilation
• Clean your diffuser regularly
Topical Application:
• Always perform a patch test first
• Apply to pulse points, temples, or specific areas of concern
• Avoid sensitive areas like eyes, inner ears, and mucous membranes
• Wash hands thoroughly after application
Bath Application:
• Mix 5-8 drops with a carrier oil or bath salts before adding to water
• Never add undiluted oils directly to bath water
• Soak for 15-20 minutes maximum
• Rinse off after bathing
Inhalation:
• Add 1-2 drops to a tissue or personal inhaler
• Inhale directly from the bottle for quick relief
• Use steam inhalation with 2-3 drops in hot water
Important Safety Precautions
Skin Sensitivity: Always perform a patch test by applying diluted oil to a small area of skin and waiting 24 hours to check for reactions.
Sun Sensitivity: Citrus oils can increase sun sensitivity. Avoid sun exposure for 12-24 hours after topical application of bergamot, lemon, or other citrus oils.
Quality Matters: Choose pure, therapeutic-grade essential oils from reputable suppliers. Avoid synthetic fragrances or adulterated oils.
Storage: Store oils in dark glass bottles away from heat and light. Most oils last 2-3 years when stored properly.
Pregnancy and Nursing: If you’re still in perimenopause and could become pregnant, research oil safety or consult a professional before use.
Contraindications and Considerations
Certain medical conditions and medications may interact with essential oils. Be particularly cautious if you have:
• Asthma or respiratory conditions
• Epilepsy or seizure disorders
• High or low blood pressure
• Liver or kidney disease
• Skin conditions like eczema or dermatitis
Always start with lower concentrations and shorter exposure times to assess your individual tolerance. What works wonderfully for one woman may not suit another, so patience and experimentation are key to finding your ideal aromatherapy routine.
When to Seek Professional Advice
While essential oils can provide wonderful complementary support during menopause, it’s crucial to understand when professional guidance becomes necessary. These natural remedies should enhance, not replace, comprehensive healthcare during this important life transition.
Consult Your Healthcare Provider If:
Severe Symptoms Interfere with Daily Life:
• Hot flashes occur multiple times per day and disrupt work or sleep
• Mood changes are severe or include thoughts of self-harm
• Sleep disturbances persist despite multiple interventions
• Physical symptoms like heart palpitations or dizziness occur
You’re Considering Hormone Replacement Therapy: Essential oils should be discussed with your healthcare provider (https://womeninbalance.org/finding-help/questions-to-ask-your-healthcare-provider/) if you’re using or considering hormone replacement therapy, as some oils may interact with medications or affect hormone levels.
You Have Underlying Health Conditions: Women with cardiovascular disease, diabetes, liver conditions, or other chronic health issues should consult their healthcare team before incorporating essential oils into their routine.
Symptoms Worsen or New Symptoms Appear: While menopause symptoms can vary, any sudden worsening or appearance of new, concerning symptoms warrants medical evaluation.
Research: Massage & Menopause
Can massage therapy and aromatherapy massage alleviate the symptoms of menopause?
By Martha Brown Menard, PhD, LMT, August 1, 2020
The Study Question
As levels of reproductive hormones drop during menopause, 80 percent to 85 percent of women will experience bothersome symptoms such as hot flashes and mood disturbances, which can negatively impact their quality of life. While hormone replacement therapy (HRT) is effective for relieving these symptoms,many women are reluctant to use HRT because of long-term safety concerns, and HRT is contraindicated for breast cancer survivors. Previous surveys have estimated that approximately 75 percent of women are interested in nonhormonal options for menopausal symptoms. This study, conducted by nursing faculty at the Tehran University of Medical Sciences, investigated whether aromatherapy massage could reduce symptoms of menopause.
The Study Methods
Participants were recruited from 251 eligible patients at a menopausal clinic at a gynecology hospital in Tehran between June and September 2011. Inclusion criteria were married women between the ages of 45 and 60 years experiencing symptoms of natural menopause, amenorrhea for at least 12 months, no serious chronic medical conditions, normal pap tests in the past 12 months, and no abnormal clinical findings or other medications.
The 90 participants who consented were each randomly assigned to one of three groups, with 30 participants per group: a control group that did not receive massage, a placebo group that received only massage using liquid paraffin, and a third group that received aromatherapy massage. Both the placebo and aromatherapy massage groups received 30-minute treatment sessions twice a week for four weeks, or eight sessions in total.
The massage for both groups was performed with the patient supine and a pillow under the knees using light pressure on the abdomen, upper legs and arms. The aromatherapy essential oil blend was composed of lavender, rose geranium, rose and rosemary in a 4:2:1:1 ratio, diluted almond (90 percent) and evening primrose oil (10 percent) at a final concentration of 3 percent. Massages were performed at the same time each day by a certified midwife, who had completed a training course in aromatherapy and massage.
The main outcome measure used was the Menopausal Rating Scale (MRS), an 11-item scale assessing common menopausal symptoms, including depressive mood, irritability, anxiety, hot flashes, sleep disturbance, muscle and joint problems, bladder problems and vaginal dryness. Each symptom is scored as 0 (no complaints) to 4 (severe symptoms), and the total score is the sum of all items. The original MRS scale was translated from English into Farsi, and the translation validated in a pilot study of 50 women who were demographically similar to the participants.
The Results
No statistically significant differences were observed among the three groups in terms of age, age at menopause or body mass index. The baseline scores for menopausal symptoms were comparable across each group, ranging from 21.72 to 22.13. Menopausal symptoms did show a decrease from 21.86 (sd 2.86) to 13.11 (sd 2.91) after aromatherapy massage, compared to a decrease from 21.72 (sd 3.09) to 19.07 (sd 2.84) after the paraffin massage. These scores both showed a statistically significant difference, while the score in the control group did not differ significantly.
Limitations of the Study
This is a thoughtfully designed study that was carefully conducted, and the use of random assignment to the three comparison groups adds rigor. Whether the results can be generalized outside of Iran is not clear. The emotional support provided by the massage may have also influenced the short-term reduction in symptoms over the four-week study period. No follow-up was conducted to determine whether the symptom reduction was maintained.
Implications for Evidence-Informed Practice
Women experiencing menopausal symptoms may benefit from massage and from aromatherapy massage using the blend specified in this study in particular.
