20/02/2021
*🚨 COVID related, emotion filled wedding vendor post alert🚨*
I never expected to go on maternity leave last March and not return to in person weddings for a YEAR. My first wedding back was scheduled to be 5 weeks after my due date, which would have actually been a little shy of one month after giving birth to our sweet boy who decided that he was too cozy to arrive on time (I wasn’t a pretty sight at 41.5 weeks pregnant, believe me!). Then the morning after my son, Jack, finally made his arrival, the hospital went into lockdown and the world changed in so many ways.
At four days postpartum, while still very much in pain from giving birth, I remember quietly crying and yelling at my poor husband in hushed tones because I was beyond overwhelmed with having to reschedule what felt like a million weddings all at once. Postponing all of my spring and several summer 2020 weddings in the very first days of new mama blur felt like madness... and that was just the beginning.
As we all know, it wasn’t even close to being over. So the year went on and more cancellations and postponements were made. I have a couple who has now postponed their wedding THREE times. My fingers and toes are all crossed in hopes that the third time is the charm for them.
All this is to say: WOOF. It’s been a year, y’all. A year filled with hard conversations with my brides and grooms and many a disheartened mother of the bride. It’s been a year filled with a million emails and phone calls and ‘I’m so sorry, I’m thinking about you’s... and I have meant every one. I truly have been heartbroken for my couples who have watched their would-be perfect wedding days come and go.
It’s also been a year filled with personal stress and unbelievable anxiety about keeping my newborn child safe from being exposed to COVID. Jack is the product of a lot of prayers and after having already suffered the loss of two precious babies due to miscarriage, the thought of potentially putting him in harms way at all was immobilizing. We have mostly been shut-ins this whole year. My husband has been able to work from home alongside me and we are those people who legitimately haven’t been to the grocery store since last March.
Through this cloud of uncertainty and fear, with every sad postponement I issued, there was always the slightest bit of relief. Relief that I wouldn’t have to figure out how to feel safe in a room filled with unmasked guests eating dinner. Relief that I wouldn't have to weigh the risks of doing my job (which I LOVE) while trying to keep my child safe against an unforeseen danger.
That relief often immediately turned into shame. Shame on me for being relieved. This couple just had to put off what should have been the best day of their lives! I should be feeling nothing but sadness for them. Also, in an utterly selfish way, I know that each wedding that gets cancelled or postponed directly results in less funds for Jack’s future and our home.. and of course it’s not just me in that boat. Every wedding postponed or cancelled is a huge financial hit to every member of my community of wedding vendors. Every wedding that hasn’t come to pass has deepened the financial hole created by COVID for not only us planners, but also the venue owners, caterers, photographers, videographers, officiants, DJs, bands, florists, bakers, hair & makeup artists, rental providers, and so many more. Our industry’s servers, kitchen staff, and cleaning crews, who have benefitted from our weekly events, even if only as second or third jobs, they have been hit so hard. How could I ever feel relieved by us all going without work?!? It’s been a rollercoaster of emotions to say the least.
On March 5th, I will be coordinating my first in person wedding back. This wedding was already postponed once and this couple is ready to tie the knot and I can’t hold that against them, nor would I want to! I am this bride’s full service planner and I have been working so closely with her for so long now. I love her and can’t wait to see her finally wed! Following her wedding, I have another towards the end of March, and so on. They are slowly returning. Couples are coming to terms with the mandates in place here in NC, and all of the restrictions that reception halls are required to adhere to. Everyone is of course hoping that things improve as the vaccine roles out, but at this point some folks are simply done with the wait.
With that said, I am feeling all of the feels. COVID is not a thing of the past, but when will it ever be? I haven’t been vaccinated yet, but who knows when both me and my husband will be, let alone young children like Jack. At this point, the best we can do is wear our masks, try to maintain a safe distance (especially when masks are off guests), and do everything in our power to make sure our couples have beautiful wedding days - while keeping them and ourselves as safe as possible!
My family’s decision to continue our quarantine is not changing until we are out of this mess, but I still have a job to do. The best job. A job that brings joy, defeats stress, and provides relief to others. I get to make sure that my couples and their families have the best time that they possibly can on a day that is meant to celebrate their love. That is what being a wedding planner means to me: I get to give the gift of a beautiful and stress free wedding day to my couples, and after this past year, I can’t think of a better gift to give. Less stress!
My sincere hope is that all of this is behind us very soon. Until then, I'm committed to keeping myself and my family as safe as possible throughout the coming wedding season. May the year ahead of us, for us in the weddings industry, be better than the year behind us! Cheers to that!
