Michael Pezzullo, LMFT

Michael Pezzullo, LMFT Psychotherapist in West Hollywood. Online throughout CA & FL. Coaching for Gay Men worldwide.

11/09/2025

Ever feel like he’s just present enough to keep you hooked — but never really shows up?
That’s breadcrumbing. And it’s way too common in gay dating. Let’s break it down 👇

Signs He’s Breadcrumbing:
• Random texts or DMs — only when you start to move on
• Flirty comments, but no real plans
• Likes your posts or stories, but avoids real connection

How It Feels:
For many gay men, it’s a cycle of hope → disappointment → repeat.
That inconsistent attention? Addictive — like a slot machine.

What You Can Do:
• Recognize the pattern — inconsistency is information
• Don’t try to “fix” how he communicates
• How he communicates tells you everything you need to know

My advice to gay men in the dating scene?
Don’t settle for crumbs. 🍞
But ultimately — it’s your choice.

What do you think?
Have you ever been breadcrumbed in gay dating?

11/08/2025

Dry dating — dating without alcohol — is becoming a big shift in the gay community. Drinking less has become particularly trendy among young gay men (Gen Z).

But what are the pros and cons of “dry dating?” Let’s break it down:

✔️ The pros: deeper connection, better boundaries, and time saved.
❌ The cons: a little more vulnerability and some initial awkwardness.

When you take alcohol out of the equation, you actually get to see if there’s real chemistry — not just buzzed attraction. And you find out sooner rather than later. For many gay men, dry dating is helping them find truer intimacy — and real compatibility beyond the bar scene.

Would you try it? Let me know, in the comments :)

11/05/2025

Are you a gay man who struggles with anger—either by bottling it up or letting it explode? 🤯

For years, many of us learned to hide our anger to stay likable, safe, or accepted. But repression doesn’t make anger disappear—it just turns into anxiety, resentment, or emotional shutdown.

Healthy anger isn’t about rage—it’s about reclaiming your voice, your boundaries, and your power.

Have you struggled with expressing anger as a gay man? Let me know, in the comments :)

11/03/2025

Intimacy in long-term gay relationships isn’t just about s-x. Intimacy is fostered by unique dynamics that gay men can cultivate.

Here’s a breakdown of what tends to make intimacy last — emotionally, s-xually, and even spiritually — in gay relationships.

1. Create Security
2. Allow Individuality
3. Resolve Resentment

What do you guys think? Let me know, in the comments :)

11/02/2025

The hidden reason gay couples break up isn’t about love — it’s about direction.

Long-lasting intimacy for gay couples means growing together: emotionally, spiritually, and in shared goals.

But forecasting the future can feel new for gay couples. Marriage equality, family planning, and home ownership have only recently become real options — so it makes sense that many gay couples still feel uncertain about what “forever” looks like.

What do you guys think? What keeps gay couples connected over time? 🌈💭

11/01/2025

Why Do Gay Men Sexualize Their Friends? 💭

For many gay men, it can be tough to form non-s-xual friendships with other gay men. In a community where so much of our social world is s-xualized, it’s easy for friendship and attraction to overlap.

As a gay men’s therapist, I break down 3 reasons why this happens:

1️⃣ It’s Familiar
2️⃣ Power Play
3️⃣ Obligation

Let’s talk about it — why do you think this happens? 👇

10/30/2025

Gay men: if your entire confidence is built on how you look, you’re living on emotional thin ice.

There’s nothing wrong with caring about your appearance—but when it becomes your only source of worth, you end up trapped in constant anxiety about aging, comparison, and validation.

As a gay men’s therapist, I tell my clients: your self-worth should be like a diversified stock portfolio.

Don’t invest everything into just one asset—your body or your looks. Build value in multiple areas: purpose, creativity, relationships, resilience, intellect, humor, kindness, etc.

When you diversify your worth, your confidence becomes sustainable—not dependent on the mirror.

10/28/2025

We love to complain about the apps — but let’s be honest: Grindr isn’t disappearing anytime soon. So instead of just complaining, let’s talk about some of the benefits that no one wants to admit:

🔥 1. Digital Courage
Some guys finally feel safe enough behind a screen to send a simple “hey handsome” — something they’d never dare do in person.
👀 2. Closeted Cruising
If you’re not out yet, apps let you peek into the gay world without stepping into a bar and feeling exposed.
🛡️ 3. Boundary Practice
Setting boundaries IRL (especially after a few drinks) can be hard. But on apps? You’re safe behind a screen — you can say no, end the convo, or log off whenever you want.

So… are hookup apps only toxic, or can they also be stepping stones for confidence, identity, and boundaries?

What do YOU think? Let’s talk in the comments.

GayDating

10/26/2025

Why some gay men get turned on by anger (and what it really means). This isn’t just about kink—it may be eroticized rage.

Eroticized rage happens when anger and s*xual desire get fused together. In trauma-informed psychology, this often develops when expressing anger wasn’t safe growing up—so the nervous system redirects that intensity into s*xuality, which feels like a more “acceptable” release.

💥 Why this shows up for many gay men:
Growing up with rejection, shame, bullying, or religious fear often pushes anger underground. Sexuality then becomes one of the few places to feel power, control, or validation. Over time, arousal gets wired to dominance, friction, or emotional conflict.

🔍 How eroticized rage might show up:
• Feeling turned on by emotional tension or conflict
• Arousal tied to dominance, control, or humiliation
• Seeking s*x when angry, hurt, or rejected
• Attraction to emotionally unavailable or dismissive partners
• Revenge or “power” s*xual fantasies

This isn’t about shame—it’s about understanding how trauma, anger, and desire can get tangled. When we name it, we can begin to create intimacy that isn’t fueled by pain.

10/25/2025

Why Do Gay Men Struggle to Feel Attractive? 💭

Here’s a paradox: a lot of gay men want to feel attractive, but don’t actually let themselves.
They haven’t given themselves permission to be desired — to see themselves as hot, s*xual, or worthy of attention. That internal conflict creates frustration and avoidance.

So ask yourself:
👉 Do I give myself permission to be attractive?
👉 Do I believe I deserve to be desired?

If not, that might be what’s holding you back.

What do you think? I want to spark a real convo about this — maybe in a way you haven’t heard before. Let me know in the comments :)

Let’s be real—gay men and body image? It’s not just about abs or aesthetics.Living in a hyper-visual culture deeply impa...
10/23/2025

Let’s be real—gay men and body image? It’s not just about abs or aesthetics.

Living in a hyper-visual culture deeply impacts how we see ourselves, our worth, and our desirability. But instead of just saying “gay culture is superficial,” it’s important to understand the therapeutic psychology behind these pressures—and how to navigate them without losing yourself.

Here are a few key insights I explore with clients:
🔹 The Reality – Attraction often begins visually (especially among men).
🔹 The Pressure – Gym anxiety, comparison, insecurity… sound familiar?
🔹 Diversify Your Assets – If your worth is only tied to your looks, it becomes fragile.
🔹 Follow the Fantasy – If you became a “perfect 10” overnight… then what?
🔹 It’s Not Their Job – Your insecurity isn’t your partner’s responsibility to fix.
🔹 Permission to Be Desired – Many gay men want to feel attractive, yet don’t believe they’re allowed to.

When you start to see the deeper psychology at play, you can begin building a healthier, more grounded relationship with your body—and your worth.

👇 Question for you:
Do you feel like your body image affects how worthy you feel as a gay man?

🔗 Download my FREE guide for gay men (link in bio)

10/23/2025

I didn’t always believe therapy worked.

Finding the right therapist changed everything. Someone who saw me, challenged me, and guided me with clarity. That experience taught me: healing has to be strategic, consistent, and real.

Now, as a gay men’s therapist, I help others do the same. I use EMDR, CBT, and attachment-based therapy to help gay men heal anxiety, depression, trauma, and addiction—so they can stop just surviving and finally start thriving.

If you’re ready for a clear plan and real change, I offer a free 15-minute consult call. Link in bio to get started :)

📍West Hollywood-based.
🌍 Coaching gay men internationally.


Address

West Hollywood, CA

Telephone

+12136409788

Website

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