01/17/2026
Twelve Years of Grief and Growth
Today marks 12 years since my mom passed away. This milestone feels oddly significant, not quite ten, not fifteen—just twelve, which seems like a strange number, like a dozen of something I didn’t ask for. Yet here I am, reflecting on these years, grappling with how much has changed.
It feels like just yesterday that I was saying goodbye. The sharpness of that loss hasn’t dulled; it remains vivid. But as I navigate through these twelve years, I’ve come to understand that time is both a healer and a complicator in grief.
My relationship with my mom was far from perfect. The end of her life was marked by stress and unresolved issues. Before her stroke, we were not on good terms, which complicated my grief. It’s a reminder that grief is not always straightforward; it can be messy and layered.
My sisters and I each experienced our relationship with our mom differently. We’ve all navigated our grief in unique ways, reflecting our individual connections and the complexities of our shared history.
Over these years, I’ve gained insights into the grief process—lessons that resonate deeply:
1. Carrying Grief: Grief is a companion that walks with you, manifesting in various forms. It reminds me of the love, the struggles, and the complicated emotions tied to my mom’s memory.
2. Embracing Individuality:I’ve learned that grief is deeply personal. My sisters and I may be processing the same loss, but our experiences and feelings are distinctly our own. Recognizing this has allowed us to support each other while honoring our individual journeys.
3. Learning and Growth: The knowledge I’ve gained about grief has enriched my professional life and my personal journey. Understanding the nuances of grief has given me tools to navigate my emotions and relationships more effectively.
As I look back on these twelve years, I feel a bittersweet mix of sorrow and gratitude. Each year has brought its challenges and triumphs, and while I would give anything for a different relationship, I also recognize the strength I’ve developed in her absence.
Today, I honor her memory alongside the lessons learned and the love that continues to guide me. Twelve years may be strange, but it’s a testament to the resilience of familial bonds, even when they’re complicated.
