Dr. Brian Patterson

09/12/2023

08/21/2022

If you are in a relationship like a marriage, and you are lonely, it is totally reasonable to:
1. Verbalize reasonable relational expectations.
2. Set healthy and appropriate boundaries.
3. Not sit at home and simply wait for your spouse to be willing to go out and do something with you.
4. You can choose to carve out your own lifestyle (without violating your marital vows – go live).
5. Seek counseling.

10/15/2021

Parenting is HARD. In a family system, there are developmental stages that families move through as the children grow older. In the early stages, with little ones, most families don’t excel. They simply survive until the children get old enough to not cause themselves or sibs, significant injury. No parent is going to be perfect, that's just the way it is. But you can always work hard to do better the next time. Good parenting is more authoritative and less passive or authoritarian. CONSISTENCY is so so important.

Regarding the marriage, significant damage can be done to the relationship from getting the parenting thing wrong. Too often, the parents do battle, and one becomes the enabler of poor child behavior (Good Cop), and the other becomes the dictator (Bad Cop). Both are wrong. Simply put, good parenting involves a simple formula: RRC. Rules, Rewards, and (NEG.) Consequences.

Parents build kids into powerful beings by giving them great challenges and a whole lot of nurturance – In a consistently safe environment: Loving parents create an Obstacle Course in the life of their children, not a Water Slide.

Dr. Brian

10/08/2021

10 Commandments for Marriage
1. If what they are asking for is reasonable, give it to them without debate. ~Just do it~
2. It is wrong to be so comfortable with them that you’re not careful about how you speak to them.
3. Don’t act like a Child or a Jerk.
4. Whatever kindness you show your boss, kids, and others, you OWE first to your spouse.
5. Focus on the Here and Now.
6. Listen twice as much as you speak. Compliment them.
7. Kindness and Appreciation.
8. Stop trying to control them.
9. Be assertive. Timid/Aggressive
10. Actions not just words: The 5 Elements: 1. Respect, 2. Quality Time, 3. Healthy Communication, 4. Touch = 5. Trust and Intimacy

04/09/2021

WARRIOR CODE: AN HONORABLE LIFE
1. Serve something greater than yourself. Make this a better world.
2. Moral behavior always. Do what is right even when it is hard to do so. Own your errors - no excuses.
3. Self-Discipline.
4. Move toward your challenges.
5. Grow up. Don’t act like a child.
6. Stop giving your opinion to those who are not interested in your opinion. Live the truth, live forward.
7. Stop trying to control others. Improve on your own flaws.
8. Set boundaries with others.
9. Fulfill all of your responsibilities.
10. Turn off all electronics. Share real quality time with others.
11. Listen twice as much as you speak. Seek Humility & Wisdom.
12. Exercise, good nutrition, and rest.

03/23/2021

Pay the baby sitter or pay the divorce attorney. It's not complex.

03/19/2021

PEACE MAY COME WHEN YOU:
1. Give up the illusion of control over that which is out of your control.
2. Control yourself. Live a disciplined life.
3. Grow up.
4. Turn off all electronic devices.
5. Stop giving your opinion to people who don’t care about your opinion.
6. Surround yourself with people who speak positivity into your life.
7. Feed your mind, body, and spirt healthy sustenance.
8. If you choose not to do these steps. Stop complaining.
You are the problem.
Dr. Brian.

02/22/2021

If your life isn't working change it. Here is a thought:

The year was 1988. I had already served 6 years with the military and was a sophomore at The Ohio State University. I visited the student counseling center. I described to the counselor my feelings of desperation and of being overwhelmed: full-time classes, full-time employment at Roche Biomedical L...

02/12/2021

The formula for a healthy and loving relationship is actually fairly simple:
1. Protect your spouse (Mind, Body, Spirit).
2. Impress your spouse.

Either you will or you won't.

02/04/2021

Marriage is but an opportunity to build a special story with another; a story filled with good times and bad, sad times and joy, but a life together. Marriage is also an opportunity to show your nobler self, or your not so noble self. There are three kinds of people in this world of ours: People who complain, people who blame, and people who change. You each need to ask yourself, which kind am I? Your marriage will likely take one of three paths: You will focus on improving your own behavior and the marriage will grow, you each will continue to act poorly (or badly) and the marriage will be murdered, or you will become apathetic and the marriage will simply die. I hope you make the right choices. Dr. Brian