02/11/2026
POV: Do what is rightā¦ not what is easy.
I used to think healing meant being calm. Likeā¦ if I could just stay quiet, stay āunbothered,ā and pretend I didnāt care, then I was evolving. Which is hilarious, because if you know me at allā¦ I am not built for the āI donāt careā lifestyle.
I care deeply.
I feel everything.
And Iāve done enough work to know that pretending you donāt feel something isnāt healingā¦ itās just a narrative living in your mind. š§
And thatās kind of the era weāre in right now. Because social media has made it dangerously EASY to look healed.
Meanwhile some of us are over here doing nervous system work in the carpool line like itās our full-time job. š¤Ŗ
People can disappear mid-connection. Avoid a conversation. Leave a human being sitting in confusionā¦ then post something about āprotecting your peaceā with a smile and a caption that sounds like it was written by a monk who lives in isolation.
And everyone claps without even thinking. š§
I get itā¦ because we all want a shortcut. I would also love a shortcut. Unfortunately our nervous systems donāt come with discounts.
But hereās what Iāve learned from actual trauma work, somatic work, and nervous system regulationā¦
Real healing doesnāt make you disappear.
Real healing gives you CAPACITY. Capacity to tolerate discomfort without turning it into avoidance. Capacity to communicate without needing to control the narrative. Capacity to repair instead of run.
And hereās the real truthā¦
Healing does NOT skip accountability.
Which is annoyingā¦ because Iād rather just be hot and unbothered like we were in our 20āsā¦ but here we are. āŗļø
And this is where a little something called āspiritual bypassingā gets sneaky. Spiritual bypassing is when people use healing language to avoid human responsibility.
Itās when āboundariesā becomes a shield instead of a tool.
Itās when āpeaceā becomes a performance instead of a practice.
Itās when āIām protecting my energyā really means āI donāt want to be uncomfortable.ā
And listenā¦ needing space is real. Taking a step back is healthy. Boundaries are sexy.
But thereās a difference between space and silence.
Space has clarity. Silence is dysfunctional.
And dysfunction is not peacefulā¦ itās dysregulating.
Thatās why ghosting hits so hard. Not because youāre weakā¦ because your nervous system is wired for safety, and silence creates uncertainty. Your brain will start doing mental gymnastics at 2am just to make it make sense.
āWhat did I do?ā
āWhat did I say?ā
āWas I too much?ā
āShould I have been cooler?ā
āShould I have acted like I didnāt care?ā
And that? Thatās not you being dramatic.
Thatās your body trying to survive ambiguity.
Like your nervous system is sitting there refreshing the page likeā¦ āhello???ā ā¦and nothing is loading. ā³
So if youāve ever been on the receiving end of someone disappearingā¦ I need you to hear this clearly (like big sister energy holding your hands and looking at you dead in the eyes RN). šš¼
It wasnāt your worth.
It wasnāt you being ātoo emotional.ā
It wasnāt you being hard to love.
It was someone choosing what was easyā¦ because doing whatās right requires emotional maturity.
Which sounds simpleā¦ until you actually have to DO it.
Hereās the part nobody wants to admitā¦
Avoidance doesnāt just hurt the person who gets left behind. It hurts the person avoiding tooā¦ WORSE. š¶āš«ļø
Because avoidance doesnāt disappear. It stores.
It shows up later as anxiety, patterns you canāt break, intimacy issues, addiction, burnoutā¦ all the fun stuff your nervous system invoices you for when you donāt deal with whatās real.
And NO pun intended for this time of yearā¦ but the tax receipts wonāt lie. š«
Your nervous system keeps receipts like itās a part-time accountantā¦ and she does not play.
So if youāre the one who goes silentā¦ no shameā¦ but be honest.
Was that a boundaryā¦ or was that avoidance with good branding and a āyou did nothing wrongā text from your bestie?
Because some of us are out here doing the MOST to avoid one honest sentence.
Boundaries are healthyā¦ but disappearing and calling it maturity is just emotional laziness in a cute outfit. š¬
Real maturity closes loops.
Growth sits in hard spaces.
And peace isnāt silenceā¦ peace is what your body can hold.
And if you donāt agree with me, thatās fineā¦ Iām not here to be liked, Iām here to be real. š
ā¦. the truth ALSO is, Iāll NEVER preach something I havenāt lived, breathed, and suffered through myselfā¦ on BOTH sides.
Because doing whatās right isnāt always easyā¦ but itās always integrity. In business. In relationships. In parenting. In LIFE.
And integrity is the one thing everybody understands.
Be good yo eachother.
š¦š¤š¼
