New Perspective DBT Skills

04/01/2023

Today, I will be gentle with myself, understanding that sometimes to reach the middle ground of balance, I need to explore the Peaks and valleys. Sometimes, the only way I can extricate myself from a valley is to jump high enough to land on a peak, and then slowly ease myself down.

~Melody Beattie

29/11/2021

Shifting the language we use from "YOU" to "I" in conflict is hugely disarming. When we make YOU statements it often creates defensiveness. When we make I statements they can't be argued because we are in charge of what we need, feel, think, and do.

29/11/2021

S.T.O.P. is a Distress Tolerance skill that helps us to pause and continue on at a slower pace to avoid acting on our impulses and reacting in ways we end up regretting later.

29/11/2021

Acceptance does NOT equal approval. The biggest obstacle of arriving in Radical Acceptance is the common misunderstanding that when we accept something we are also agreeing with or condoning whatever it is. Acceptance is simply acknowledging what IS, recognizing reality, whether it's good, bad, or neutral.

23/11/2021

T.I.P. is a Distress Tolerance skill that helps to bring the nervous system to a more manageable level of arousal in a moment of painfully heightened emotion.

22/11/2021

Did you know that there are 5 different ways a person can be dysregulated?
Here are some examples of what each type can look like.

20/11/2021

When our limbic system is in high arousal our prefrontal cortex can shut down, making logical thinking and decision making almost impossible. We teach you how to assemble your own personal distress tolerance box for those moments when all you can do is manage your distress but may have forgotten all the tools you have that work.
Swipe for some examples.

19/11/2021

A daily gratitude Practice doesn't solve all our pains and problems right now. It takes time to weave more small joys into your everyday. So we invite you to start here and now. Share 1 to 3 things in the comments below that you are grateful for today. Save this post and challenge yourself to take a minute for gratitude everyday. You might be surprised what you notice in a few months!

18/11/2021

Our boundaries are important, period. There is no debating this. Unfortunately because we are all human, sometimes our loved ones will over step our boundaries anyways. An accident is understandable, a pattern needs to be worked on. We can do this gently and lovingly while also putting ourselves and our needs first. The "R" in DEAR MAN stands for Reinforce (reward). Reminding our loved ones that we cannot show up for them if we haven't taken care of ourselves can be helpful in the face of pushback when holding our boundaries. Try using the example of putting our oxygen masks on first before another's in the event of an emergency on a plane. Sure, our boundary may not be related to a crisis, however the principle still stands. We are significantly less effective when we are depleted and overwhelmed.

17/11/2021

We often make the mistake of assuming that we know how other people are feeling based on things like facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language. However emotions are full body responses and so at least half of that experience in internal and there for not observable from the outside. The same is true for thoughts, opinions, beliefs, and motives. If you want to know what someone is thinking or how they are feeling, the only way to know is to ask, otherwise we're just guessing.

16/11/2021