Project Fortem (2026)

19/12/2021

I stumbled across Isabelle’s Instagram profile yesterday and was enthralled by her words - so full of Project Fortem’s version of BRAVE (being radically authentic and vulnerable everyday).

She thanked me for following her and I couldn’t help but respond, authentically sharing the impact her words had for me. I reflected back to her the bravery that I witnessed in her words and expressed my appreciation for her and how inspired I was by her.

This led to us chatting further and her asking if she could share my words in her next blog post. Touched, I of course said yes and the words in the photo are taken directly from her blog post titled “Shouting my Story”.

I’m honored to highlight Isabelle today for her radically authentic and vulnerable voice, thank you for your courage in shouting your voice for others to be inspired by.

Thank you.
(Angela)

Please check out Isabelle's profile, you will find the link for the full blog post (and a capture of some of my words to her) in her blog!
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13/12/2021

“Becoming a leader is synonymous with becoming yourself. It is precisely that simple and it is also that difficult.” Warren Bennis

Welcome to a community of leaders becoming themselves while inspiring others to do the same. We value your presence here.

10/12/2021

When I was thinking about this post I thought I would write something about journaling, about starting or maintaining a journaling practice. Perhaps that’s what this is about but something has shifted for me since coming across this quote and I’m going to explore that while writing this post.

I found this quote and liked it instantly because it’s a more eloquent way of saying Nike’s slogan “Just Do It” and I like this one better. I decided to do some research on Louis L’Amour and after reading his biography I was captured by his determination.

He prided himself in the number of books he’d read, often going without food in order to purchase books and study. He was determined to be a writer. He struggled, succeeded and then failed, and succeeded again. There were times when he was offered money but turned it down because he couldn’t write under someone else’s instruction.

At the age of 65 he finally succeeded to the point of feeling “...independent and secure for the first time in his adult life”. He passed away from cancer when he was 80 years old and even died editing his own memoir.

Talk about determination.

I’m inspired by his life. As I reflect on my own life, I’m curious about the amount of sacrifices I’m actually willing to make to pursue my passions. And if I’m being honest, up until now I don’t know that I’ve made too many sacrifices - I’ve never gone without a meal or wrapped myself in newspaper to keep warm when traveling between cities/jobs.

A lot of my time is spent scrolling through social media, watching netflix or other now seemingly meaningless things. I’m consciously choosing to lean into curiosity about this, because I could easily lean into shame, regret and/or self-pity, but I’m instead intentionally feeling curious.

Curious about what it is that I could do differently today to start embodying a Louis L’Amour level of determination?

I think the answer is in his quote…just start, no matter what. To fully open the faucets of my passions and allow the water to flow.

(Guess what guys…you just came along with me on one of my journaling adventures! Here’s what happened on a high level - I was struck by something, had an emotional/mental reaction to it and wanted to uncover it. I wrote about what happened, my thoughts and feelings in reaction to it and then got curious! I guess this post does happen to be about journaling. If you want to start exploring your journaling process please reach out, I’d love to explore that with you!)

Angela

Louis L’Amour Biography: http://www.louislamour.com/aboutlouis/biography.htm

08/12/2021

Robert Rauschenberg made the above statement about art. However, he also said, “For me, there is no difference between art and life.”

“Curiosity is the main energy.”

For me, this is true about my Core Values. I consider curiosity one of my values, but it also provides the main energy for other values and principles.

If I aspire to Humility, I acknowledge that my perspective is limited, and I stay curious.

If I want to be compassionate, I become curious about someone’s inner life.

Seeking Joy, I tap into my curiosity.

To become a better listener…curious.

Self-honesty requires the most penetrating curiosity.

It may be true that curiosity has a role in everything we do. Poet Dorothy Parker wrote, “The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.”

How does curiosity enrich your life? What are you curious about?
(Tom)
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07/12/2021

I love making pictures with my thoughts!

Journaling has been something I’ve done since I was a little girl, except then I called them diaries.

Writing in my journal has become a huge part of my self-reflection and self-discovery journey. My journals are where my muffled, and sometimes overwhelming thoughts and emotions find a home. My journals have helped me process and move through some pretty heavy and overwhelming emotions, so that I could release them and feel more balanced, reaching a place of clarity and understanding.

Many people have shared with me that they do not think that they could write in a journal, that they wouldn’t even know where to start. I’ve been reflecting on my journaling process and thought I’d share it with you in case it sparks something within you as you navigate the idea of journaling.

1. I journal when I feel off about something. Sometimes I know exactly what it is and sometimes I only have a sense of what it is.

2. I often start by writing down what happened - perhaps it was an argument, an event, a small exchange. I’ll often write about it until I start to uncover what is really bothering me.

3. And then I go into all the emotions that have arisen in reaction to it - this almost always starts in the form of anger, swearing and justifying my thoughts/behaviour and then moves into what's really underneath, sadness, fear, regret, shame…etc.

4. I sometimes explore the different “parts of me”, I might write “part of me feels like that’s exactly what I deserve” or “part of me just wants to feel connected again”. Exploring these parts helps me unravel all the feelings that are true for me.

5. Sometimes this is it, the release of emotions is enough for me and I close my journal. Other times I’ll ask myself questions, for example “okay, so now what?” or simply “Why?” My aim is to unravel more self awareness, to learn something from these moments, to come away with a better understanding of what was going on for me.

This is the in depth version of my journaling process now; however, I can promise you that it did not start out this way. I filled many diaries with a simple list of what happened during my day, no emotions attached, perhaps this is where you may want to start too.

Do you keep a journal? If not, do you desire to? I’d love to join you in creating a personalized journaling practice if that interests you! Please feel free to send me a message and we can chat about what that might look like!

(Angela)

04/12/2021

Does depression and a waning of self-love lead me to eat poorly and compulsively? Or, does eating poorly and letting my sugar compulsion take the driver's seat lead to depression and diminished self-compassion? The answer to both is yes. So how to escape this Möbius strip of negative reinforcement?

The good news is that the pathways between the physical (eating) and emotional (mood, self-worth, even discipline) work two ways. We can't readily will ourselves to feel happy, but we can interrupt the downward spiral by pausing, and becoming intentional about what we eat.

A glass of water. A big crunchy salad. A piece of fruit. Maybe layer that with some deep fresh air and movement. I've been delightedly amazed at how quickly and positively some simple choices have affected my mental and emotional well-being. Simple choices but not easy choices. I acknowledge and applaud how difficult it can be to step outside the downwardly spiraling loop of cookies and melancholy. (Tom)
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04/12/2021

“A healthy outside starts from the inside” Robert Urich.

I sometimes still have a hard time believing that the girl in the first photo is me. It’s hard seeing, on the outside, how not okay I was on the inside at that time.

I wasn’t taking care of myself in more ways than one.

I’m sure I could pass that weight gain off as “being in a happy relationship,” but I wasn’t comfortable in my body. I wasn’t happy when I looked in the mirror and I wasn’t happy with the way I was showing up in that relationship.

By the end of 2018, a lot had changed for me; I was no longer in that relationship, I had completely changed my eating/lifestyle habits and I had a dream of cultivating a deeper connection to myself and others - that meant some inner depth exploration, acceptance and reconnection.

I started changing on the inside and, as you can see from the picture I took just the other day, my outside seems to be reflecting the inside change (this photo also captures the joy I felt after coming off a discovery call!).

Tom and I haven’t talked too much about wellness with the Project Fortem community (yet). Wellness is something that we both hold as a high priority in our lives.

This includes our:
Physical,
Mental,
Emotional and
Spiritual Wellness.

For me, this means:
- striving to get enough sleep
- speaking kindly to myself
- eating foods that nourish my body
- participating in some form of movement daily
- taking time to reflect and journal
- pausing throughout the day and bringing my energy back to my breath and body

It took me a while to look at photos of myself from that time without feelings of shame and regret. However, I’m enjoying moving into a place of looking at those pictures with compassion and pride. Empathy for the woman who didn’t have the capacity to take care of her inner world and pride that today my inner world has shifted so much that my outer world reflects it.

What does wellness mean for you? Is it a priority? Are you feeling healthy from the inside out? Perhaps as we approach the new year, we can start thinking about these priorities and what inner shifts we might need to make to experience a healthier exterior. (Angela)

04/11/2021

We’re curious, what might a safe online community look and/or feel like for you?

As we create Project Fortem, we are conscious of the limitations of our own knowledge and awareness. We would love to expand our knowledge and awareness by hearing from you what it would take for you to feel safe within an online community like this.

Feel free to respond in the comments or send us a direct message!

We look forward to expanding our knowledge through your responses. 🥰listens fortem

31/10/2021

I lost a job because my boss wasn’t understanding.
A relationship ended because the other person wasn’t willing to put in the work.
I needed to move because of my roommates or because I got a new job.

External. Did I show up as my brave authentic self?

In the past when navigating tough transitions I’ve noticed that I tended to blame external factors or people, without taking the time to reflect internally on my role.

I am responsible for the ending of my job. I didn’t communicate as well as I should have.
I am responsible for ending a relationship, sabotaging it because secretly (subconsciously? unconsciously?) I wanted it to end.
Moving was my choice, because I was uncomfortable and didn’t take ownership of my discomfort.

Ownership. I choose to show up as my brave authentic self!

Transitions have been hard for me in the past because I’ve felt like things were happening TO ME. I didn’t play an active role in my life. I was the victim of whatever life threw my way.

When I started taking ownership of my role in the transitions I was going through, I felt a sense of empowerment and freedom; I chose how to experience the transition and took ownership of the part I played in bringing that transition into my life.

28/10/2021

“Change is inevitable, growth is optional” John Maxwell

When I resist the changes and transitions of my life I stop writing my story. That chapter of my life gets put on hold and I don’t get to turn the page to see what the next chapter of my life has written.

During transitions I am tempted to resist the perceived painful emotions that come with change. However, I have to feel those feelings in order to move on to the next chapter of my life book.

And it’s also not to say that those feelings and memories don’t come with me into the next chapter - they 100% do!

But my story doesn’t end. I don’t resist that there is a new chapter beginning - even though sometimes, a lot of times, I don’t want the previous chapter to end.

I have to keep going or I stop growing.

(Angela)listens fortem

25/10/2021

I allow perceived negative emotions to flow.

I want to break this down into two parts:

1. Perceived Negative Emotions
2. Allowing Emotions to Flow

Firstly - perceived negative emotions. When I learned that ALL emotions are just that, emotions, something shifted within me.

I used to view joy, happiness, calm, etc as “positive” emotions. And I would view anger, sadness, fear, etc as “negative” emotions.

When I would feel those painful emotions it would feel like such a negative thing. I wasn’t just crying, I was in the depths of negativity when I was crying because I perceived crying as such a negative thing.

When I let go of my attachment to emotions being either positive or negative I felt so much freedom. Feeling sadness is no longer overwhelming because I am not diving into the depths of negativity, I am diving into the depths of an emotion - just as if I was to dive into the depths of joy.

Secondly - Allowing Emotions to Flow. What happens when you put the plug in your sink and leave the tap on? It fills with water and eventually overflows and, if left long enough, makes a giant mess.

When I denied myself from feeling emotions, especially those perceived negative ones, it was like I was putting a plug in all my emotions - not allowing any of them to flow and creating a giant mess in my mind and heart.

For me, that mess ended up with me feeling numb, alone, disconnected and seeking validation from all the wrong places.

I slowly started pulling the plug on my emotions by exploring and feeling my thoughts, fears, shame, doubts, dreams, goals, etc. I can now say that allowing ALL emotions to flow has become an essential part of how I move through tough transitions.

Life has been full of transitions for me. I’m going through a pretty tough one right now that’s been accompanied by a lot of crying, inner reorientation and self-redefinition. But I don’t feel overwhelmed by it; I haven’t stopped laughing or finding things to be excited about.

I am allowing perceived negative emotions to flow so that all my other emotions can continue to flow as well. (Angela)listens fortem

Project Fortem

19/12/2021

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