Distant Shores Deathcare

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Distant Shores Deathcare

Distant Shores Deathcare - Serving NC and SC tangibly, worldwide digitally. Your death concierge! This is not the best way to stay in touch.

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07/04/2023

This is true for every death, and the changes felt by survivors can be both communal in nature and *highly* individualized simultaneously.
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The death of a person can bring you a host of emotions. Let them come. If the dominant emotions are not those that society "normally" sanctions (ex: sadness) you don't have to justify them. Your feelings toward's a person's death are valid.
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It's also common to be affected by deaths of people you don't know, either! Victims of school shootings come to mind as an example - the community is completely changed by their deaths, even if they did not know the victims personally.
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Death's real name is Change, after all, so it should not be surprising that we are all be affected by it in predictable and unpredictable ways.
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14/09/2022

This is just so beautiful 🐶 💙.
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📸 by .
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10/06/2022

➡️➡️➡️Swipe to see if there's a slide that fits you! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️💞☮️💟🌈✨💙. Share if so! 😊🥰.
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I am PROUD to serve everyone in my human (and pet) death doula capacities.
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Death is the master teacher of keeping things in perspective. It's an honor to help people journey to the "distant shore". You are,and always have been, always will be, welcomed here.
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29/05/2022

Even Deathcare professionals can find death to be too much to bear 💙.
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13/04/2022

Let's talk about the "little losses".
If someone in your orbit is dying, especially if you are close to them and see them frequently, you will likely witness many "little losses".
An example would be when the dying person can no longer walk across the room without assistance, or when they can no longer drive, or they no longer want to eat foods that require average amount of chewing, or no longer can brush their own hair, or put on their own makeup, etc.
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Even though these changes herald death, most people do not even acknowledge or consciously process that a lifetime is winding down before their very eyes.
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Ex: "Dad can't get out of bed anymore."
"Why?"
"We'll he's just so tired and everything exhausts him".
Here's where most people go "okay" and let their brain think of ANYTHING ELSE besides the unspoken fact of "dad is so exhausted and stays in bed because he is dying."
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This denial may be a protective mechanism against anticipatory grief. A trade-off to this, though, is that the illusion of "more time" seems very real; and when the death happens it will seem to "come out of nowhere" when in reality the unwinding and releasing dying process was there all along, in plain sight, but never named, honored, or discussed.
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The "little losses" leading up to death can hurt the non-dying just as much as the death itself. I am not saying it won't be emotionally painful to remove the wool from your eyes during your person's (or pet's) final phase. If you can be honest, at least privately to yourself, that all the "little losses" are adding up to an upcoming death the illusion of "more time" will not snare you in its grasp. You can be more intentional with the time that remains. This has ripple effects far bigger than I can write on Instagram. I have yet to meet a person who would go back in time and choose to stay in denial, but I have met many people who wish they could go back in time and face the truth sooner. Recognizing the "little losses" for what they are can help you in this regard.
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08/04/2022

I'm still not done processing the implications of this, by the way.
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And I have So. Many. Emotions!!!!! About it.
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I'm not a professional on *anything* related to health, food sciences, exercise science,etc.
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But I am in this culture so obviously I have been immersed in all of the overt and subliminal messaging for me entire life.
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As a death doula and educator all I can recommend is that, if you don't want to have a deathbed regret like this....if you feel like this kind of regret could apply to your life too...take whatever steps necessary NOW to get your food-to-your holistic self relationship squared away. It's probably such an individual thing. I can't imagine there's any advice that would work for everyone. I'm not qualified to give pointers on this topic. Just consider this post as a sort of "canary in the coal mine" thing.... I never imagined I would hear this, and the more I think about how many facets of life this way of living must have impacted...the more my face scowls and my heart hurts.
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Sorry I am not of much educational information here. I was just completely caught off guard by this dying regret and it felt important to share.
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05/03/2022

Read the post, here are the links to help Oxy:
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IG account:
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Etsy address: https://www.etsy.com/shop/PrintsLandShop .
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Slava Ukraine 💙💛💙💛!
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Ps - the art is soooo pretty! Go see for yourself!
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13/02/2022

A tiny thread on how Ancient Greeks had graves for dogs 🐶 🐩 🐕 🐾.
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The quote about carrying grief in relation to carrying joy had me verklempt. So much has changed, but this feeling is still very much present for all dog lovers.
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10/02/2022

Death is explorable! The people who populate the Deathcare industry tend to be a multifaceted, compassionate bunch (not a strict rule but if someone makes 'a living' from death that paradox alone usually indicates an interesting person is at hand). I know that I find fellow Deathcare workers FASCINATING. So when I saw that Elizabeth Fournier ( ) released another book, The Green Reaper: Memoirs of an Eco-Mortician, I was READY to read!
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Elizabeth wrote one of my favorite Deathcare books (I definitely consider Green Burial Guidebook an essential read and I'll put my review of this book in my stories) and while The Green Reaper memoir is a Deathcare book, it's more of a deep dive on who Elizabeth is, how she became the Green Reaper, and how the universe aligned in surprising ways to reveal her true purpose. This book bares so much that I feel like I KNOW Elizabeth now, like she's a friend, even though we have never met! If I'm ever near Boring, Oregon though I know who I'm seeking out 😂 😆 😊
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So if you are new to Deathcare, read Green Burial Guidebook first; if you enjoy that (you will) and want to hear more about what Elizabeth has to say, read this book next.
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The Green Reaper is available in tangible and e-format but if you have Kindle Unlimited you can read it for free right now.
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Elizabeth was WAY AHEAD of the curve when it came to making funerals greener, more personable, more human. She has decades of experience so it's always a treat to get her insights.
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09/02/2022

I focused on birth here because birth and death are two profound experiences and processes. I am convinced they are more alike than they are different.
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But haven't you completed something that, although it scared you so much beforehand, wasn't actually that bad in retrospect? I am sure you have.
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So maybe it is the same with death: that the FEAR is worse than the ACT itself💙.
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05/02/2022

Love is a four-legged word 💙 🐾 🐶 🐩 🐕. This one is for my dog-loving friends...but don't worry, I have other posts planned ( 🐱 🐟 🐰 🦎 etc.) for other pets!
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Of course it's logical to grieve your pet when the time comes.
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Hiring a pet death doula can help make this time more sacred, comforting, and special. The link in my bio has a section about pet death doulas, give it a quick read 💙!
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27/01/2022

Death is explorable! This week's book is for any adult that has both pets and kids in their life. It is titled, "The Forever Dog", written by Bill Cochran, and it is targeted for the 4 - 8 years old crowd. That doesn't mean you can't read it to kids younger than this age group (I read it to my toddlers) though!
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Here's a potentially uncomfortable truth about raising little humans: when it comes to matters surrounding death and dying, YOU are their expert. They are ALWAYS going to look to you for guidance. Without exception! Whether or not you feel up to the task is irrelevant to them. This means if you aren't ready for deathy questions and scenarios, you are not in a position to help the kiddos find their surest footing. This, my friends, is one way death anxieties and taboos are passed from generation to generation.
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I understand talking about death with kids can feel...not fun. But there's lots about parenting that is not fun and we do it anyway (...potty training, anyone?). If you are able to introduce the idea of death as a natural stage of a lifetime EARLY the more manageable deathly situations will be for your child (this is a LIFELONG gift).
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Add pets into the mix and preparing children for their beloved pet's eventual death takes on a new urgency. If you have a pet AND kids the probability that the pet will die while the child is still (fairly) young is quite high. You don't have to harp on PET DEATH 24/7, you know, but reading a book about it every now and then (especially when the death seems far away) is a great way to plant the seed and let it germinate. As the death approaches, you can read pet death books with increasing frequency. It's a process but it pays off! You, and the kids, will have a framework in place to support you all!
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This book focuses on a young boy and his dog. The themes can be applied more broadly (to a different species) but for kids on the younger end of the age spectrum the interspecies application might not "click". For kids with a dog, though, this book will fit right into their own lived experiences.
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