I’m Seriously Sober (2025)

30/11/2025

When I started my journey of recovery, I didn’t know anyone like me.

No one I knew was an addict or alcoholic. I didn’t have anyone to look up to and no one to talk to about my struggles. I felt like the outcast because my friends and family didn’t really understand me.

But I did the hard thing and I put myself out there. I went to meetings and got into (well was forced into) treatment where I learned that there are tons of people out there JUST LIKE ME!

Who knew?!?!

When I began letting others in who recognized my story within their own and shared my pain, my recovery started to get a bit easier. I relied on others because I didn’t trust my thinking or my judgement. These beautiful souls helped me get through the tough days and supported me when I didn’t know how to get through the day (or hour) without a drink.

So today, all these years later, it’s my turn. It’s my honor to help the next suffering soul get another day sober.

I recover out loud, sometimes really really loudly, because why not? If it helps one person, then my job is done. No shame here.

You are never alone and remember, we are stronger together, always.

27/11/2025

I never saw this beautiful life in recovery as an option for me while in active addiction.

So grateful that I surrendered and asked for help. So thankful my family was there for me when I needed them most.

Beyond blessed to have the ability to attend a treatment center who addressed me as an individual and helped me work through all my underlying issues. The foundation of my recovery was built with the support of professionals and other alcoholics just like me.

Lucky to share my second half of life with friends and family who love me and accept me and respect my sobriety.

I love Thanksgiving and the ability to reflect back on my journey and savor the fact that I made it to the other side.

Grateful + Blessed. Without a doubt.

Happpppy Thanksgiving to each and everyone of you. Thank you for being along for the ride and helping to keep me sober today 💛

23/11/2025

Here is younger innocent me - living the good life and having the world at my fingertips. I was fearless and adventurous. I knew I could do anything and become anything I set my mind to. I can guarantee you that being an alcoholic and dealing with addiction was not on my agenda at any age.

I had DARE classes in elementary school warning me about drugs and alcohol. My parents talked to me about the dangers of alcohol when I was a teenager. I even took a college class about alcohol and it’s impact on society. But it wasn’t until I was in rehab that I was taught about the disease of addiction. Genetics. Progression. Brain chemistry. Triggers. Coping skills. Trauma. Nature vs Nurture. Adverse Childhood Experiences. The list goes on and on.

In years past, no one wanted to talk about addiction. The stigma and negative connotation related to the terms addict and alcoholic made people avoid the topic. But here we are in 2025 and addiction is everywhere. Everyone knows someone who is either struggling with drugs or alcohol or in recovery from addiction. We cannot hide from it because it’s slowly killing millions of people every year.

So please, take the time to talk to your kids about addiction. I don’t mean the generic, drugs are bad, too much alcohol is a problem, don’t drink and drive type of speech. I mean really talk about it. Discuss your family history. Use examples of people you know - family, friends, people in the public eye who have struggled. Talk about the consequences of addiction. Lives can be saved and families can avoid the struggle if we open lines of communication. Educating our kids is the only place to start. They are our future and we need to plant the seed and expand their knowledge about addiction. Maybe, just maybe it’ll prevent a child from the pain and agony that is addiction.

19/11/2025

Active addiction was exhausting. I was constantly manipulating the day to ensure my next drink. I spent my days covering my tracks and making sure my big secret about my drinking wasn’t revealed. It was a balancing act and for awhile I was a pro - complete functional alcoholic. And then….I wasn’t. My life turned chaotic and messy and I was a disaster.

Sobriety is the complete opposite. My days are filled with helping others and being of service. My life is based in honesty and doing the next right thing. I try to keep it simple and always find the gratitude in every day. While some days are more difficult than others, I pride myself in knowing that it can never be worse than a day in my old life.

Exchanging the chaos and insanity for the simplicity and serenity is priceless. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

16/11/2025

Unfortunately, my family struggled along side of me during my active addiction - that’s what happens with this family disease.

They asked, prayed and at times begged for me to change. They wanted my recovery way more than I did for a long time. My mother went to Alanon where she learned that she didn’t cause my addiction, she couldn’t control my addiction and she herself definitely couldn’t cure my addiction. She never gave up on me and continued to love me from a distance until I was ready.

I am sure there are many family members and friends out there who are desperately trying to help their loved ones.

Depending where they are in the cycle of addiction, I’m sure you are being met with resistance, denial and probably anger. Don’t give up. Plant the seed. Help but don’t enable. Encourage and support as you see fit.

But most importantly, take care of yourself.

You cannot allow yourself to become consumed by another’s addiction. You are part of the fight but it is not yours to fight alone. This is a family disease and everyone will suffer. But until the addict/alcoholic surrenders and accepts help, you must find balance. Your well being is as important as that of others.

And never forget, we are stronger together and you are never alone in the fight against addiction.

15/11/2025

A wise man once said that I was a long term project - meaning that while it might take me a little longer than others to figure out life, watch out…because once I do, I’ll be unstoppable.

For me, it was 3 rehabs in 12 months. Withdrawals near death. Recovery house. DUI in my kitchen. Countless meetings. Grief counseling. Self growth. Individual therapy. Group therapy. Meditation. Yoga. Self reflection. Journaling. Trauma therapy. The list goes on and on…

Whatever your journey may be, it is yours. Whether you figure out this recovery thing on your first attempt or on the eighteenth, you’ll get it when you’re ready.

It might be a long way home, but just never give up on yourself. Keep believing you’re worth it and one day everything will click and fall into place.

And then you’ll be unstoppable too.

PS - My dad really does know what he’s talking about after all 💛

12/11/2025

In my old life, where alcohol controlled my every thought and decision, I merely existed.

I went through the motions each day with my next drink motivating my every move. I was not mentally or emotionally present as alcohol ran through my body, altering my very being. I was a shell of a person, wishing each day that my life was different. I didn’t have the energy or confidence to maintain my recovery as I tried to get sober countless times on my own with zero success.

Then one day, in a drunken stupor, I had a moment of clarity. It was ask for help immediately or live this pathetic alcohol filled lifestyle until it killed me. Thankfully, I had enough sense to pick up the phone and alter the rest of my life with the three most difficult words I’ve ever spoken…I NEED HELP!

And here we are, nearing 10 years of sobriety. After lots of hard work, where I worked through all of my underlying reasons why I drank in the first place, I’m living my life to the fullest.

I’m physically and emotionally present for my friends and family. I appreciate the new life I’ve created and focus on bettering my future. I took my life back. I run the show now - no more relying on alcohol to get me through each day.

My life is more than a bottle. I deserve better. My life is now worth living. Thank God.

07/11/2025

Getting sober is so much more than just not drinking anymore.

It’s a beautiful journey that takes us from a miserable, defeated and broken shell of a person and transforms us into a happy, empowered and confident new version of ourselves.

I always say that we all have the same story of addiction, just different details. So the healing process may look different for each of us as well. For some, it may require inpatient treatment and ongoing therapy upon discharge. For others, it may take countless meetings and getting honest with a sponsor. Some will work on their sobriety while incarcerated and continue their freedom upon release.

Whatever your healing process is, get started. Don’t waste another minute allowing your past life to take up space in your head and heart. We must address the underlying issues that led us to the bottle in the first place. We must get real and honest about our pain, our trauma and our heartache. Avoiding the real issues will only allow a relapse to inevitably occur and then you are back at square one.

So do the work.

Put in the effort.

Allow yourself to heal.

Give yourself permission to grow.

Trust the process.

Be patient with yourself.

The best is yet to come.

04/11/2025

Three years ago today…

After a typical day with our two puppies, my family went to the high school varsity football game. When we came home, we found one of the puppies had passed away. 1.5 years old and she’s gone. No clue what happened. Her heart just stopped and she was gone. Just gone.

Millie was the most spoiled girl around. She got so much love and attention from all of us. She loved snuggles and kisses and belly rubs. She followed me around, no matter where I went and slept right up against me every night. She was my girl. And now she’s gone.

I’m heartbroken. And it just doesn’t seem real.

But I don’t have to drink over my anger and sadness. I don’t have to drink over the fact she’s gone. I don’t have to drink to numb the pain.

Alcohol won’t make any of my problems disappear. Alcohol won’t bring my puppy back. Alcohol sure as hell isn’t going to make this situation any better.

So I’ll stay sober and remember the year and a half she brought happiness into our lives ❤️ I’ll stay sober and remember the time she jumped up onto the island and ate butter 🤦🏻‍♀️ I’ll stay sober and remember her excitement the one and only time she got to the beach and chased seagulls ☀️ I’ll stay sober and remember how she loved treats, hated walks and was her brother’s best friend 🐾🐾 I’ll stay sober and remember my pretty girl, forever 💔

02/11/2025

For a long time, the only word that I felt was appropriate for me was alcoholic.

I couldn’t identify any other adjectives that were fitting. I didn’t feel pretty or compassionate or smart or strong as others would describe me. I felt weak and defeated and broken. I allowed the word alcoholic to define me and my actions proved it to be true.

Through recovery and the strength that I found in my sobriety, the power behind the word alcoholic began to fade. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll forever be an alcoholic.

But today, that description is joined with words like mother, wife, daughter, friend, therapist, coworker, helper, advocate and survivor.

I now believe all the positive words people use to describe me because today, I live differently. My actions show that I am the good I portray to the world.

I am no longer defined by my addiction.

I am me.

31/10/2025

Haunted houses. Bloody costumes. Skeletons. Black cats. Mummies. Ghosts.

None of that stuff scares me. I’m not a fan of Halloween (crazy, I know) and I know none of those things are real.

However, a drink of alcohol and returning to the chaotic life of active addiction scares the hell out of me.

I know I am just one bad decision, one bad choice away from a drink. It’s as simple as reaching out and putting that poison to my lips. That is real and that would be the beginning of the end for me.

I have no doubt that within days I would be dead or back in rehab. I know myself well enough to know that moderation or the idea of just one isn’t how I drink. I am a drink the entire bottle and whatever else I can find/blackout and remember nothing kind of drinker. For me, it’s all or nothing.

Today, I choose nothing. No alcohol. No ci******es. No energy drinks. No mind alternating substances. No nothing.

Today I choose my sobriety….which equals happiness, trust, reliability, honesty, love, family, friends, employment, dogs, helping others and living the simple, peaceful life that I created in recovery.

No more scary life. This life is just too good.

Oh, Happppy Halloween!

19/10/2025

2014….I’d wake up on a Sunday morning and reach for the stash of Captain Morgan I had saved from the night before. I’d drink to feel normal. I’d drink to stop the shakes and nauseous feeling. I’d drink to have the courage to face my reality. I’d manipulate my plans for the day to ensure I’d swing by the liquor store to replenish my supply of rum. I’d make up excuses for my lack of presence at certain family activities. I’d manage to get through the day with enough alcohol in my system to feel good but not enough for others to catch on to my alcohol intake. And finally, after putting my son to bed, I’d drink…and drink until I blacked out. I always blacked out. Then I’d wake up, and do it all over again.

2021….a few years ago on a Sunday, I woke up sober. I had a clear mind and an eagerness to start the day. After doing two loads of laundry, I made my family breakfast. I helped clean out the living room to prepare for the demo project that was set to begin that week. Then I took my son to Dorney Park with his cousins. We rode too many roller coasters (big mistake), ate too expensive food and had too many laughs. I was present. I was engaged. I was happy. And when I turned the corner, I came across this BLACKOUT sign in the middle of the amusement park. It made me stop in my tracks.

10 years ago, my life revolved around the next drink and drinking as much as I could to ensure that I’d blackout. And here I am, all these years later in 2015 living a completely different life. I can look at this BLACKOUT sign with a grateful heart. I can look back and be amazed that I survived my addiction and my ridiculous pattern of always blacking out. I can appreciate that I made it out alive and had the strength to fight for my recovery. Life has a funny way of working out and reminding me just how good I really have it in sobriety.

I’m Seriously Sober