I’m Seriously Sober (2025)

07/11/2025

Getting sober is so much more than just not drinking anymore.

It’s a beautiful journey that takes us from a miserable, defeated and broken shell of a person and transforms us into a happy, empowered and confident new version of ourselves.

I always say that we all have the same story of addiction, just different details. So the healing process may look different for each of us as well. For some, it may require inpatient treatment and ongoing therapy upon discharge. For others, it may take countless meetings and getting honest with a sponsor. Some will work on their sobriety while incarcerated and continue their freedom upon release.

Whatever your healing process is, get started. Don’t waste another minute allowing your past life to take up space in your head and heart. We must address the underlying issues that led us to the bottle in the first place. We must get real and honest about our pain, our trauma and our heartache. Avoiding the real issues will only allow a relapse to inevitably occur and then you are back at square one.

So do the work.

Put in the effort.

Allow yourself to heal.

Give yourself permission to grow.

Trust the process.

Be patient with yourself.

The best is yet to come.

04/11/2025

Three years ago today…

After a typical day with our two puppies, my family went to the high school varsity football game. When we came home, we found one of the puppies had passed away. 1.5 years old and she’s gone. No clue what happened. Her heart just stopped and she was gone. Just gone.

Millie was the most spoiled girl around. She got so much love and attention from all of us. She loved snuggles and kisses and belly rubs. She followed me around, no matter where I went and slept right up against me every night. She was my girl. And now she’s gone.

I’m heartbroken. And it just doesn’t seem real.

But I don’t have to drink over my anger and sadness. I don’t have to drink over the fact she’s gone. I don’t have to drink to numb the pain.

Alcohol won’t make any of my problems disappear. Alcohol won’t bring my puppy back. Alcohol sure as hell isn’t going to make this situation any better.

So I’ll stay sober and remember the year and a half she brought happiness into our lives ❤️ I’ll stay sober and remember the time she jumped up onto the island and ate butter 🤦🏻‍♀️ I’ll stay sober and remember her excitement the one and only time she got to the beach and chased seagulls ☀️ I’ll stay sober and remember how she loved treats, hated walks and was her brother’s best friend 🐾🐾 I’ll stay sober and remember my pretty girl, forever 💔

02/11/2025

For a long time, the only word that I felt was appropriate for me was alcoholic.

I couldn’t identify any other adjectives that were fitting. I didn’t feel pretty or compassionate or smart or strong as others would describe me. I felt weak and defeated and broken. I allowed the word alcoholic to define me and my actions proved it to be true.

Through recovery and the strength that I found in my sobriety, the power behind the word alcoholic began to fade. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll forever be an alcoholic.

But today, that description is joined with words like mother, wife, daughter, friend, therapist, coworker, helper, advocate and survivor.

I now believe all the positive words people use to describe me because today, I live differently. My actions show that I am the good I portray to the world.

I am no longer defined by my addiction.

I am me.

31/10/2025

Haunted houses. Bloody costumes. Skeletons. Black cats. Mummies. Ghosts.

None of that stuff scares me. I’m not a fan of Halloween (crazy, I know) and I know none of those things are real.

However, a drink of alcohol and returning to the chaotic life of active addiction scares the hell out of me.

I know I am just one bad decision, one bad choice away from a drink. It’s as simple as reaching out and putting that poison to my lips. That is real and that would be the beginning of the end for me.

I have no doubt that within days I would be dead or back in rehab. I know myself well enough to know that moderation or the idea of just one isn’t how I drink. I am a drink the entire bottle and whatever else I can find/blackout and remember nothing kind of drinker. For me, it’s all or nothing.

Today, I choose nothing. No alcohol. No ci******es. No energy drinks. No mind alternating substances. No nothing.

Today I choose my sobriety….which equals happiness, trust, reliability, honesty, love, family, friends, employment, dogs, helping others and living the simple, peaceful life that I created in recovery.

No more scary life. This life is just too good.

Oh, Happppy Halloween!

19/10/2025

2014….I’d wake up on a Sunday morning and reach for the stash of Captain Morgan I had saved from the night before. I’d drink to feel normal. I’d drink to stop the shakes and nauseous feeling. I’d drink to have the courage to face my reality. I’d manipulate my plans for the day to ensure I’d swing by the liquor store to replenish my supply of rum. I’d make up excuses for my lack of presence at certain family activities. I’d manage to get through the day with enough alcohol in my system to feel good but not enough for others to catch on to my alcohol intake. And finally, after putting my son to bed, I’d drink…and drink until I blacked out. I always blacked out. Then I’d wake up, and do it all over again.

2021….a few years ago on a Sunday, I woke up sober. I had a clear mind and an eagerness to start the day. After doing two loads of laundry, I made my family breakfast. I helped clean out the living room to prepare for the demo project that was set to begin that week. Then I took my son to Dorney Park with his cousins. We rode too many roller coasters (big mistake), ate too expensive food and had too many laughs. I was present. I was engaged. I was happy. And when I turned the corner, I came across this BLACKOUT sign in the middle of the amusement park. It made me stop in my tracks.

10 years ago, my life revolved around the next drink and drinking as much as I could to ensure that I’d blackout. And here I am, all these years later in 2015 living a completely different life. I can look at this BLACKOUT sign with a grateful heart. I can look back and be amazed that I survived my addiction and my ridiculous pattern of always blacking out. I can appreciate that I made it out alive and had the strength to fight for my recovery. Life has a funny way of working out and reminding me just how good I really have it in sobriety.

12/10/2025

And to think I almost missed all of this for a bottle of Captain Morgan.

As I sat in the middle of aspen groves outside of Crested Butte, Colorado this week…. that’s the thought that ran through my mind. I got emotional thinking about what was my life and what it is now.

Years ago, my life was very pathetic and based around my next drink. I wasn’t living. I was being held captive by my alcoholism. I hated my life and thought there wasn’t a way out. And I didn’t care.

Today, I’m surrounded by beauty. I’m living sober, breathing in my sobriety and exhaling my gratitude. I will choose my recovery over and over again because it gave me this amazing life that I never thought possible. And I get to live it and love it, every single day.

04/10/2025

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Take a minute.

Take a moment.

Focus on yourself.

Focus on what you need for today.

Find your peace.

Find your serenity.

You got this.

You can get through anything.

Happppppy Saturday!

02/10/2025

Life just keeps getting better and better.

If you told me 10 years ago today that I’d be living the good life, I’d have said you were crazy.

At that point in my life, I isolated and stayed home with various bottles of booze hidden around the house. I avoided others so no one knew how bad my drinking had gotten. I didn’t know what I was missing and honestly I didn’t care. I didn’t have a choice. Drink or die. Those were my options. Captain Morgan was my survival.

But fast forward 10 years and here I am. Sober. Happy. Living a life beyond my wildest dreams.

This is me 2 years ago - spending a week exploring the beautiful fall colors of Colorado with my husband. Mountains. Leaves. Wildlife. Waterfalls. Lakes. Off the beaten path dirt roads. Hikes. Trees. Creeks. Fresh air.

So much beauty. So much love. And I get to do it all again next week!

Today I have a choice and I choose my sobriety. Without it, I’d have nothing. My recovery is my survival and because of it, I live in the moment. And right now, I want to relive that week over and over because it was amazing!

20/09/2025

If you are the same person in sobriety as you were in active addiction, then something isn’t right.

The journey through the darkness of addiction into the light of recovery allows for a beautiful transformation. Gone are the insecurities, the fears, the lies, the disregard for others, the lack of empathy and the mistrust in yourself.

In sobriety, we welcome new perspectives, beliefs, understanding, compassion, truth and a fabulous new version of you. I was told there is only one thing that needs to change in recovery, and that is everything!

Our pasts in active addiction tend to be ugly and messy. And when we get out to the other side of the darkness, we can look back and appreciate all of the rough spots and difficult situations. They taught us to be fighters and survivors and overall pretty damn badass.

So if you have found a brand new version of yourself and have learned to change for the better, congratulations….you’re doing this sobriety gig just right.

17/09/2025

In active addiction, I kept thinking that my drinking wasn’t hurting anyone but myself.

I had protected the secret of my alcohol use for so long that I was convinced that no one knew how toxic my relationship with alcohol truly was. I was totally wrong. At the end, everyone knew. It was obvious that my drinking impacted everyone.

My family stayed awake at night wondering if I’d be alive in the morning. Some relatives were waiting for the next call to come to my rescue. My closest friends feared for my safety. My son was too little to understand but I’m sure I caused him some concern. Looking back, there was a lot of anxiety and fear for everyone in my life that was a direct result of my drinking. And when I was in early recovery, they all were waiting for my next relapse.

It wasn’t until close to a year sober that my mother told me that she stopped holding her breath every time she saw my name pop up on her phone. She no longer waited for the other shoe to drop. My sobriety gave my family a sense of peace that I had robbed them of during my drinking days. Today, I am trusted and my family and friends can rely on me, something I could never have said when I was actively drinking.

Addiction is definitely a family disease and when the addict/alcoholic starts to recover, the family can as well. Working a program of recovery allows us to mend our relationships with our family and friends and start again. We get to build back what our addiction broke down. Hopefully we can find forgiveness within ourselves and from our loved ones as well. The suffering ends when recovery begins.

13/09/2025

Recovery provides us with so many freedoms.

I no longer deal with…

* negative self esteem
* lies and manipulations
* abusive relationships
* unhealthy lifestyles
* toxic people
* bo***ge to a bottle
* people pleasing
* hangovers
* legal issues
* self hatred
* addictive thinking

I wake up each morning so entirely grateful that my life is no longer what it was in active addiction. The relief of living an honest life filled with positive aspects instead of these negative things is priceless. Wouldn’t trade it for anything. Wish I had known sooner what beauty was waiting for me in recovery.

Don’t waste another day without these freedoms.

You deserve better.

Read that again.

You deserve better.

08/09/2025

The road to recovery didn’t necessarily feel beautiful at the time.

When in the throes of it all, it felt more like speed bumps, dead end roads, cliffhangers and detour signs. At least that’s what medical issues, legal issues, relationship issues and interpersonal issues felt like to me. They were obstacles that made sobriety seem unrealistic and unattainable.

And every time I ran into an issue or felt overwhelmed by it all, the only road I took was the one that led back to the liquor store. That was the easiest route that numbed the pain and temporarily made my problems disappear.

I have learned over the years and through my sobriety that the easiest, softest way definitely isn’t always best. Taking the road less traveled, the one where you get out of your comfort zone, become vulnerable, try new things and overcome your fears, is your best option.

The road that leads to self growth, self worth, self acceptance and self love is, without a doubt, the most beautiful. Recreating yourself and learning new things about yourself in sobriety is my favorite part of the journey. When you find you along the way, you realize YOU were what was missing the entire ride!

I’m Seriously Sober