Shrink4Men

05/11/2025

Sometimes therapy isn’t deep insight right away. A favorite technique of mine is to call out the obvious with humor, and then begin the real process work underneath it.

Real Therapy Take:

Client: [Sheepishly] I hooked up with the ex again.
Me: You know the relationship isn't viable? Is it inertia? You don't think anyone else will want you? The s*x?
Client: To be honest, it's the s*x.
Me: She's not the only woman with a va**na, you know.

Ba dum tss!

We both laughed — and then we began to explore what’s really keeping him stuck..
Spoiler alert: It's not the s*x.

04/11/2025

“To block or not to block…”

That shouldn’t even be a question.

If you really want peace, block and go quiet.

You can’t quit the circus while still checking the clown’s social media — or giving your BPD/NPD ex an all-access pass to your life.

Bring the curtain down on Crazy.
Permanently.

03/11/2025

When your wife’s DBT therapist tells you to “radically accept” her abuse…

Tell her you’ve already achieved enlightenment — it’s called having boundaries.

Radical Acceptance wasn’t meant for you to accept their bu****it.
It was meant for them to stop creating it.

31/10/2025

A Cluster B anthem of sorts.
"Pour your misery down on me."
No thanks.
Great song, though.

31/10/2025

How narcissists and borderlines make lies sound believable:

1. Lincoln was president.
2. He wore a stovepipe hat.
3. He freed the slaves.
4. He invaded Mars and married an alien. 👽💍

When you dispute #4, they attack:

“So you’re saying Lincoln wasn’t president?! You’re denying history?! Stop gaslighting me!! ABUSE!!!”

The first few facts make the rest sound believable.
Attorneys repeat it. Judges skim it.
Before long, “He invaded Mars and married an alien” becomes courtroom reality.

It takes time to unpack these distortions — something family court rarely has.
It also takes interest and effort, which are often nonexistent.

That’s how “Lincoln was president” becomes “Lincoln invaded Mars.”

𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗱𝗲𝗯𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺. 𝗗𝗼𝗰𝘂𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁.

And if your attorney isn’t willing to understand the history and context behind your ex’s lies, find one who is.

30/10/2025

“Empath tattoo — Run, Forrest, Run!”

Sometimes they come with warning labels.
I'd pay attention to that if I were you.

17/10/2025

"For a single bird, a mirror may become an object of obsession. The parakeet will think the reflection is another bird, and may direct all its social needs to the reflection." (omlet. us)

and the . Parakeets and mirrors. There are parallels. Just saying.

16/10/2025

W
T
A
F
?

I want out.

14/08/2025

Le***an relationships also have the highest intimate partner violenceand divorce rates.

Coincidence?

Side note: Jim Jefferies new special is hilarious. I've seen him live a couple times and he does a great show.

Comedian Jim Jefferies unleashes his thoughts on tiny mustaches, straight-guy struggles and why acting doesn't count as a real job.Watch on Netflix: https://...

07/08/2025

Ever renamed a toxic phone contact—like your boss, your nosy neighbor, or your narcissistic ex—just to stay sane?

Many of my clients do. And for those who haven’t, I often recommend it.

Giving a high-conflict ex a code name or assigning a ridiculous ringtone (like The Imperial March) might sound petty, but it works. It gives you emotional distance, and that can be the difference between reacting and staying grounded.

It’s not about shaming. It’s about surviving.

Real Client Story:

The court-ordered parenting app my client’s ex uses to video chat with their kids glitched, so she called his phone directly. The caller ID read:

F60.81

Looking at the screen, his son asked:
“Dad, who’s F60.81?”

That’s the DSM code for Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Whoopsy.

No, my client didn’t share that with the kids. Fortunately, they were young enough to be easily distracted.

When you’re co-parenting with a narcissistic ex, a good sense of gallows humor isn’t just helpful, it can help keep you sane.

But remember, if your BPD or NPD ex's screenname is C-ntzilla, do NOT let your kids borrow your phone 😉

05/08/2025

Are you laughing, ladies? This guy sounds absurd, right? Full of himself. Probably lonely. Maybe even a little scary.

So why do some of you not see it when women post the exact same rant, just flipped?

- “I don’t need a man!”
- “I have my own money!”
- “I’ll never settle!”
- “Treat me like a queen!”

When men say it, it’s cringe.
When women say it, some call it “empowerment.”

Let’s be honest. It’s still narcissism.

Gentlemen, if a woman posts stuff like this, don’t argue. Don’t engage. Just walk away.

🚩
🚫

[And yes, many women see it, too, and think: Bullet. Dodged.]

01/08/2025

Ever try to co-parent with someone who accused you of theft… because you brought home a pen from work?

That’s BPD logic.

Boundaries are “abuse.” Silence is “violence.” And anything you’ve ever done (no matter how petty or irrelevant) becomes retroactive justification for whatever they want to do next.

In this example, a dad declines to bring his high-conflict ex on a winter break trip with the kids.

Her response? “You’re not coparenting! The therapist said we have to show the kids we’re getting along!”
(True client story.)

Mind you—this is the same woman who called his employer and accused him of stealing.

Why?

Because years ago, he brought home a couple of office pens.

And she’s dead serious.

This is the kind of psychological gymnastics men deal with every day in high-conflict custody cases:

- Set a boundary? You’re “controlling.”
- Refuse to play happy family? You’re “hostile.”
- Push back on false allegations? You’re “unstable.”
- Still upset that someone tried to destroy your life? You’re the problem because “you’re too angry to co-parent.”

See how that works?

It’s not about coparenting. It’s about compliance.
It’s not about what’s best for the kids. It’s about control.

If you try to “get along,” they’ll exploit it to manipulate, abuse, and spin another false victim narrative.

If you disengage, follow the custody order to the letter, use BIFF, and parallel parent? You’re “refusing to co-parent.”

In which case, choose the option that protects you.

If you're going to be called an as***le no matter what you do, be the as***le with boundaries and self-respect.

You’re not crazy. You’re not alone. You’re not the problem.

You’re just dealing with someone who rewrites reality to stay in control.