11/01/2025
Little and often...
I used to give myself a ridiculously hard time because my practice was nowhere near what it used to be before I had my accident and then became a mama a few years later. And even before the accident I also used to dwell upon a period in time when I was not âmy bestâ self and did some very awful choices.
Iâm mentioning this because for so many years I took myself, my spiritual practice and pretty much my whole life and everything in it extremely seriously and personally. I held myself (internally) to such high standards that when I let slip it led to a spiralling decline for a few years., and I was not letting up on myself inside.
I have no idea if this was perceivable from the outside but my word I was hard on myself inside.
Unfortunately it being hard on myself really didnât make it any better. When I did my personal practice I didnât enjoy it because I didnât feel worthy to be doing such a beautiful practices. When I didnât practice well, then I would just be mean to myself about being a terrible student and teacher!
One day, I woke up. I was a single mum, opera career gone to dust, I was tired and a bit chubby, and I internally gave up.
I gave up needing to be anything
I gave up everything apart from my sonâs and my own peace and happiness.
I have a visceral memory of this. I laid in bed hugging my asleep and snuffling son. And I Said the Gayatri Mantra over and over again, feeling it in my heart, feeling my love and peace being sparked again, a tiny flame, inside of my heart.
I had left all intimate relationships with men behind, I had distanced myself from most people and on this day I had my hearts prayer answered.
âLittle and often my love,â said the voice in the etha.
âYou are so loved go forwards in, with and for Love.
Begin with you and your boy and the rest will follow.
The path of the heart, the pathway to peace, is love.â
And so. Piece by piece, little and often I began to heal and to love and to find my way in each moment of each day.
Over the years I have written so many of âmy ownâ songs and set the Mantra which have assisted me into rehabilitation to music, yet I could never get the sharing of them timed right!
This year, however, I have recorded the Mantra Album, each one carefully selected and written by myself and some in collaboration with my dear childhood friend, Marc Rapson.
They have held me and guided me through total loss of self, overwhelm, injury, abuse, nervous breakdownâŠand have revealed their healing and meanings to me steadily over the last 10years, guiding me to this moment in time.
I am humbled and delighted to share them with you in the coming months and hope they are of service to you too.