27/01/2022
All my life, I have felt ✨grateful✨ when receiving — compliments, kisses, job offers, gifts.
It wasn’t a healthy gratitude, but a toxic kind, born of deep insecurity and lack of self-worth. I’d feel so uncomfortable receiving that I’d overcompensate wish gushing gratitude that came from a place of desperately needing to give back, to return immediately. Overflow. Its source was guilt. I didn’t believe I was worthy of holding whatever was gifted to me.
Interestingly, the area I noticed such a block to receiving as in the bedroom. I would feel guilty for taking up time, space, energy. I never gave myself the chance to relax and unfurl and enjoy — receive.
This has changed gradually over the years, and all at once.
Instead of contracting against receiving, I now intentionally practise expanding to hold the goodness trying to enter my life.
The results: I’m happier, grounded, better rested, more energised and more emotionally regulated. When you’re at peace with yourself, you’re at peace with the world.