04/04/2020
As a country we are still early into our quarantine days, assuming that this will go on for the months predicted. One thing that is clear right from the start is that quarantine is not the same for everyone.
Picture Sam, he is 28. He lives at home with Kate, and their German Shepherd Harry. They spend their morning sleeping in. Kate is learning to cook new things and Sam is finally fixing his dads old car. Sam heads to the shops to get the groceries while Kate takes Harry on a long walk by the river. They are both working from home in their PJ’s and that’s tricky, but they worked it out. They miss their friends and are feeling really isolated and alone, but FaceTime is helping a little. They are loving this opportunity to spend time together but they are keen to get back to ‘normal life’.
Then you have the other end of the scale. Craig is 42 and a single father of 5 kids under 10. Jack is 3, Samantha is 5, Lilly is 7, Parker is 9 and Jonathan is 10. His wife walked out not long after Jack was born and he has been trying to hold it together since. He got woken up at 5am by Jack who wet the bed. He spends the mornings trying to homeschool but it’s challenging because Parker and Lilly both have ADHD and won’t sit still. He has no idea how to teach them. Craig loves his kids, he has given up a lot to raise them alone and it’s hard, but he is starting to feel like this might just be too hard. He tried doing a food shop with all the children but they touched everything and he could feel the glares. He really is trying. Most nights its not till after 9pm that he has managed to clean up and get the kids into bed. Thank goodness for endless pyjama days and no need to wash the school uniforms. Craig usually has a quick shower to wake himself up before he starts working. He is still trying to understand how to do his job from home, technology isn’t one of his strength, but at least while the kids are asleep he can focus. All he wants is an hour alone, with a cold beer while he watches a game, any game. Craig is at breaking point. He tells himself it won’t be forever, but it’s only been 2 weeks and it feels A LOT LONGER. The kids are around him all the time but he still feels alone. He isn’t coping.
Some of us will come out of this and just want to be around people. We will want to get out of our homes and get back to life how it was. Some of us will realise that we love this way of life. The veggie patch is growing and homeschooling is going so well that you’re going to do it for the forseeable future. Yet some of us just want to send our kids back to school and climb into bed and do nothing! Some of us long for nothing. Then there are those who won’t make it. It was too much and they just couldn’t bare one more day trapped with their demons.
Everybody will experience the intensity of this differently.
What we need now and in the months to come is grace, compassion and kindness. You may have no idea what is happening behind someone’s door. A door that could have been closed for months. If you are ok, be grateful and think of ways you can help others to be ok too. This will end differently for all of us, but it will end. Just remember that the kindness you show during this season will be remembered long after the doors reopen.
Beth xx
