16/07/2020
Anxiety.
Let’s talk about it.
Man oh man how me and her do NOT 🙅🏼♀️get along. One day I’m fine feeling confident in myself all positive and stuff and then the next day it’s like I wanna hide in a dark room.. but I have to be strong, a mama, a friend, a sister, a wife...and not show that I’m really struggling on the inside.. secretly ready to hide under the covers and not move until the next day.. Two steps forward, five steps back. All. The. Time. 🙄
She makes my ❤️heart race. Like BAD. I sweat like crazy. My head pounds. I feel at times I can’t breathe. I just want to curl up in a ball and hide. Scream sometimes. Yell. Shout. And honestly it’s always over something so stupid (at least to me it seems)..
😳 Like going to a gathering? Just going. Lol I will so quickly cancel or say I can’t come all BC of pure fear and just mentally, I wont. I can convince myself of why I shouldn’t go.. never Having a good enough reason but I’ll find one and cancel. I’ve done this a lot. I’ve missed out on ALOT.
😳 wondering if so and so like me because they didn’t text me back. I’ve now convinced myself they hate me. They didn’t write back in the five minutes I expected BC they don’t like me so why would they?
😳 why didn’t I get invited to that event/gathering? They all must not like me. It’s me I know it is. They are probably sitting around talking about me right now!
😳meeting new people. I know I give that RBF BAD to new people but deep down I yearn to meet you and my mind says hello! But my body doesn’t move.
😳 my image. Lord knows I beat myself up over every part of my body and don’t feel good enough for my husband.. although he’ll tell me 1,000 times I’m beautiful and he loves me... I still see ew. Not good enough. Yuck. Getting wrinkles. Need to workout more, gotta look good for him... the list goes on and on and on.🙄
I know for myself and probably you, I can add a lot more of reasons for my anxiety.. 😭 but if you’ve made it this far, I’ll stop with the negatives lol
I say all this because I feel like Ms. Anxiety sometimes defeats me and yet so many people have NO CLUE what I’m going through. And I can’t be the only one out there... right?
Let’s just see.. give me a 🙋🏼♀️ if you have or are, meeting/met Ms./Mrs. anxiety?
I bet some of you didn’t give that 🙋🏼♀️ BC you think you’ll be judged, am I right? WHY?! Why do we hide it? It’s so real and yet there’s so many of us going through it alone. Especially with Covid and the stress it has brought upon us.... why hide it when it is totally fine to say “I have anxiety..” so many of us live in fear of judgment over it and that needs to 🛑 right now.
What/who we really need to be is: 👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼
❤️ talking to our friends more... or maybe meeting new friends?! That never hurt anybody.
❤️going to that dang event or gathering that you got invited to! JUST GO!
❤️on that note, 🛑 stop caring if you got invited or not! It’s probably not at all what you think it is and if it is, you don’t need em!
❤️Asking if we are ok.. check on each other
❤️be there for someone and just listen.
❤️Not judging each other or putting each other down... lord knows I’ve been that person before and I hate myself for that (another anxiety trigger😫). I truly want to be a better person everyday from past experiences (learning from my own mistakes) and honestly, working on it.
❤️ be understanding
❤️ loving
❤️ being ourself! This is SO important! It took everything in me to understand that I am ME. Some can’t accept that but that doesn’t matter.. The only one who needs to is ME. I NEED TO ACCEPT ME.
❤️ knowing you’re circle. Sometimes anxiety can be caused just by the people around you.
❤️ we need to love ourself. Gosh We do. We need to be more accepting of who we are. Love who God has made us. Understand we all were created equally.
❤️understanding that we all are going through our own battles... but that also means we all are going through SOMETHING. Realize no one of us are perfect. BE A GOOD SOMEONE FOR OTHERS.
I Say all of this because maybe someone, just one of you, need to hear that YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH. YOU ARE WORTH IT. I AM HERE FOR YOU. And it is OK to say you have anxiety. Odds are, there’s a lot of us out there going through the same thing just for different reasons, couldn’t you use that someone in a positive way to better each other? 🤷🏼♀️
And listen, 👂.. you are NOT alone.
She’s real, y’all. Feisty little thing she is. But she is NOT going to define me.
And you shouldn’t let her either.
Much love, ❤️
P.s. sorry this is not a meal prepping post lol just felt led to say these things that were weighing heavy on my chest. Things I’d want someone to tell me and vise versa. Things some of us just need to hear.
