A Contemporary Counsellor / Gemma Pemberton

A Contemporary Counsellor / Gemma Pemberton I’m Gemma, a Specialist Wellness Counsellor and the person behind 'A Contemporary Counsellor'.

I have an unwavering passion for holistic well-being and helping individuals, be it on a journey of healing or self-improvement.

I love modern psychology- but I also think the ‘ol granddaddy’s of the field said something pretty big stuff! This is on...
23/06/2021

I love modern psychology- but I also think the ‘ol granddaddy’s of the field said something pretty big stuff!

This is one of my personal faves 💫

You can attend to your emotions... or they’ll attend to you. I’m a firm believer that what you think you’re successfully...
19/05/2021

You can attend to your emotions... or they’ll attend to you.

I’m a firm believer that what you think you’re successfully ignoring will pop up in your life in other ways... so the way I see it: sure, sometimes emotions are hard to sit with and can be a little scary. They’re scarier when they sneak up on you though.

Emotional maintenance is important! Therapy is just one of a few ways we can successful attend to our emotional landscape.

03/05/2021

ATT: therapists.
Today, a reminder that the healing is most often not found in what you do, but more often found in who you can be ✨ Happy Monday!

Yalom said it best 🔥 ————————————————It’s not entirely surprising that we’re filled with self-loathing or self-criticism...
20/04/2021

Yalom said it best 🔥
————————————————
It’s not entirely surprising that we’re filled with self-loathing or self-criticism when we are not behaving in ways that we admire, right?

Absolutely, a lot of us have an “inner critic” that is even around when we are behaving in ways that we admire, but I can almost guarantee you it’s much quieter.

It’s far more valuable for us to worry less about whether someone else likes us and reflect deeper on: DO I LIKE ME? And everything that pours into that.

Swipe left for some of my favorite journal prompts around this 💫

Ooohh it’s been a hot minute since I’ve hit you up with the green and black 🍃 🖤 This. Everyday. In everything. • “Where ...
09/04/2021

Ooohh it’s been a hot minute since I’ve hit you up with the green and black 🍃 🖤

This. Everyday. In everything.

• “Where do I end and where do they begin?”
• “What are my feelings here and what are theirs?”
• “What’s mine to take on in this situation and what isn’t?”

This isn’t just useful if you’re in helping profession- but a useful guide in maintaining healthy personal boundaries in all the various arenas of your life and straying from enmeshed and codependent patterns!

Sometimes I think I’m 70% librarian, 30% therapist because it’ll be 9am and I’ve dished out more book recommendations th...
02/03/2021

Sometimes I think I’m 70% librarian, 30% therapist because it’ll be 9am and I’ve dished out more book recommendations than therapeutic techniques 💁🏼‍♀️

It’s because it’s one of my love languages 🥰

Heartache? I know a book.
Finding yourself? I know a book.
Money mindset? Got you.
Pasta? I know more books than I should.

Here’s some love from me to you this Tuesday. These are 4 of my ride-or-dies! 📚

Loneliness. ____________________________________________________We're distancing. We're isolating. We're separating. We'...
22/01/2021

Loneliness.
____________________________________________________
We're distancing.
We're isolating.
We're separating.
We're avoiding.
We're lonely.

Next week, the theme of my content will be focussed on understanding loneliness, the concept itself as well as how the COVID-19 pandemic has impacted this further.

Spoiler alert: there's ways to make things better. I'll tell you how!

Wishing everyone a weekend of whatever you need it to be: rest, fun, calm, excitement. I hope you're able to foster moments of these things in whichever ways are possible to you.

Gemma x

Life Hack: Prepare For The Bad Days ————————————————————Because no one promised life would be easy. Because they will ha...
20/01/2021

Life Hack: Prepare For The Bad Days
————————————————————
Because no one promised life would be easy.
Because they will happen.
Because you can have a good life and still have them.
Because being prepared for them makes them easier.
Because knowing that you’ve overcome them will help you to do it again.

I’ve done something similar to this for a good few years now, but decided when I went into private practice that I needed to step it up and formalise it slightly.

Enter: the on the bad days folder.

I keep a variety of things in here ranging from:
- My old academic transcripts for when my imposter syndrome shows up and I need hard cold evidence.
- Beautiful emails from clients and colleagues.
- Things I’ve written to myself on good days to be read on bad days.
- A list of tried & tested things that always make me feel better.
- Some of my favorite poems and quotes.
- A eucalyptus leaf (symbolic of many things for me!)
- A list of the people I know love and care for me (NB quality over quantity!)

I’d encourage everyone to have a bad days folder of sorts. 9/10 times it provides me with perspective and something shifts in what I’m feeling. At the very least, it offers a moment of good distraction from whatever you’re feeling.

5 Alternatives to Traditional Meditation_____________________________________________________Meditation purists, Headspa...
19/01/2021

5 Alternatives to Traditional Meditation
_____________________________________________________

Meditation purists, Headspace activists and people still trying this the hard way: this post isn’t for you!

It’s 2021, and I no more enjoy the traditional ‘sit-down-don’t-let-anything-into-your-mind-or-even-dare-to-scratch-that-itch-I'm-hungry...’ kind of meditation now than I did 10 years ago, which was when I first gave this thing a bash.

Honestly, over the years’ meditation has kind of morphed into becoming this elitist activity that leads people to believe you can only reap the rewards of it when done with such purity, intensity and rigidity. There’s a reason the traditional cross-legged way doesn’t work for so many people!

If you, like me, have unsubscribed and re-subscribed to ‘the apps’ more times than is cool to admit... then these alternatives are for you!

Let’s recap:
- The purpose of meditation is to slow down.
- To reconnect your body and mind.
- To regulate your emotions.
- To be intentional about your movements through life.
- To ground you.
Which then leads to a host of well-known benefits, among them are the psychologically affiliated.

Good news: you can replicate those benefits by mindfully engaging in activities and practices that you *actually* enjoy. If you enjoy something- you’re more likely to sustain it. If you’re consistent with something- you’re more likely to see benefits from it.

If there are other ways you feel you’re able to achieve the same benefits of traditional meditation in other ways, I’d love to know about them! 👇

It’s Monday, it’s 2021, and one thing we’re not doing is making excuses for people’s behavior or attaching fantasy to th...
04/01/2021

It’s Monday, it’s 2021, and one thing we’re not doing is making excuses for people’s behavior or attaching fantasy to that behavior so that it sits a little easier with us 🙅🏼‍♀️

No one says it better than Maya Angelou: when people show you who they are- believe them.

When you start accepting people’s behavior as one of the definitive means of who they are, as opposed to:
- getting caught up in who they SAY they are - or who you THINK they are

Things start to get simple!

Here’s your sign ✋🏼

If you’re wondering exactly who someone is in your life, ask yourself this: who have they shown themselves to be?

The answers invariably lie there. Patiently waiting for you to accept them.

And that’s a wrap on 2020! ✨ What the hell was that?! 🌪 I have so many, and yet so few words for this year. Here’s what...
30/12/2020

And that’s a wrap on 2020! ✨

What the hell was that?! 🌪 I have so many, and yet so few words for this year.

Here’s what I’ve got:

I made it out alive.
More alive than ever before, actually.
I am so grateful.
More grateful than ever before, actually.

I also know that the old Gemma can’t come to the phone right now ☎️ and I owe that to this terrifying, wonderful, whirlwind year.

It was what it was! What will be, will be ✨ it’s been the ultimate test in learning to live in the grey. The grey is hard. It can also be so good.

Thank you to everyone who was a part of my 2020! As I close the book on this year I have nothing but love.

#2020 #2021

This is one of the things that largely guides my work. ———————————————————A client of mine said to me the other day, “I ...
29/12/2020

This is one of the things that largely guides my work.
———————————————————
A client of mine said to me the other day, “I wish I had more relationships in my life like the one you and I have.”

What they meant by that was:
- a relationship founded on empathy.
- a relationship with a desire to understand.
- a relationship with boundaries that are understood and respected.
- a relationship with space to show up as you are on any given day.
- a relationship where there is light to bring forth the shadow parts of one’s self, non- judgement.

I like to think that the therapeutic relationship often serves as a model in which you notice elements you would like to replicate in relationships outside of the therapy space. For some people, the relationship between themselves and their therapist will be their first lived experience of a healthy relationship. How cool is that? That you get to think, “Oh wow, so this is what it feels like to connect with someone in a healthy way? I want more of this! I’m going to recreate this outside of here.”

I hope you do.
I hope you find the energy to pinpoint what you need from your relationships and try recreate it so that your relationships serve to fulfill you in whatever capacity you need them to.

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Library Square, Wilderness Road, Claremont
Cape Town
7008

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Tuesday 09:00 - 17:00
Wednesday 09:00 - 17:00
Thursday 09:00 - 17:00
Friday 09:00 - 17:00

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