14/03/2023
Claire’s story:
When we found out that we were having a baby I had so many mixed emotions. Even though this baby was planned, we hadn’t been trying for long when those two lines appeared. As my baby girl grew, so did my anxiety; bigger and stronger every day.
The doctor asked me about my birth plan. My first thought was: “I have no idea what the right answer is.”
I went back and forth between having a natural birth and letting doctors intervene with a caesarean.
My partner was supportive of me and said that he will be there either way and support me.
Relatives and friends on the other hand had all kinds of opinions.
Why is it that when YOU are carrying a baby, EVERYONE ELSE has something to say?
My mother-in-law used to tell me stories about how old lady's insides literally fall out because of the trauma of childbirth years before, I mean, who does that, right?
Never say something like that to a new mom-to-be, ever!
So, after I’ve heard everybody’s stories and (unsolicited) opinions, I actually decided to have a caesarean. I was too scared to have this baby naturally. Baby girl was measuring big as well so let’s spare hubby the broken flower.
I don’t know if doctors are told not to tell you what’s going to happen because they don’t want to scare you or because they think you know already or whatever the case may be, but Doctors, please tell your patients what to expect, in detail!
Finally, the day my baby girl would be born arrived. We checked in, they weighed me… do yourself a favour and don’t look, and we completed all the paperwork. They hooked baby and me up to a monitor and I could hear her heartbeat.
Suddenly I felt calm and anxious at the same time, if that’s even possible.
My doctor believes in putting in the catheter before having the spinal so that she doesn’t cut too close to a full bladder, thank you Doctor, but could you maybe have told me how freaking uncomfortable and annoying that would be. I was so agitated!
The time came for me to be wheeled to the operating room. My heart just jumped out my throat and I couldn’t breathe.
Having also heard stories about the spinal being a traumatic experience for almost everyone, I was literally shaking and pulling away from the tube. In the end, I kid you not, I didn’t even feel the spinal.
In the OR everybody is having coffee and chatting away and Hubby just looks at your whale of a naked body on the operating table and then back at you, worrisome. Doctors not fazed at all and you’re trying to tell yourself to just calm down, they do this every day, they’ve seen other coochies that might’ve looked worse. And then anxiety claps back with “how would you know? You’re not a doctor, you don’t even know if YOUR coochie is normal looking?”
Hubby just keeps staring at you, not knowing what to say that would be comforting so he squeezes your hand a little tighter. You calm down a bit at the tender touch of your partner, and then the anaesthesiologist asks you what song you want to listen to while waving his tablet in your face… REALLY??? I don’t care what we listen to while my first child is being born, you moron! Just get her out of me!
Anywho, Doctor finally finishes her coffee, introduces everyone, like I want to remember all the people that saw my naked, lifeless body and starts cutting away. A few minutes later your baby’s head pops out of you, but you can’t see her. Everyone ooh’s and aah’s, including Daddy but you have a curtain blocking your view and the doctor says have a look and brings her closer to you, like the Lion King moment when Simba was introduced to the herd and you just… cry… uncontrollable sobs of joy and relief and amazement echoes in the OR and you suddenly feel different…
In this moment you know that your life will never be the same again, YOU will never be the same again, and that’s fine with you…
Fast forward a few years and baby nr 2 is on the way, you opt for a c-section again because baby boy is even bigger than his sister and because now you know what to expect... and what do you know... The same group of doctors and nurses are staring at your coochie, again...
