Heather Delaney Psychologist

26/11/2025

Most conflicts aren’t battles, they’re misunderstandings.
Seek clarity before choosing a side.

25/11/2025

Do not waste time thinking about what you could have done differently...

20/11/2025

8 Ways You’re Making Your Anxiety Worse https://buff.ly/Kr3C7rI

Are you unknowingly making your anxiety worse? You may be — and not even realize it.
🧠 Anxiety often starts in the brain with your thoughts, but then it shows up in your body:
⚡ racing heart
⚡ tight muscles
⚡ restless energy
⚡ spiraling worry

This post breaks down 8 sneaky ways you might be increasing your anxiety — and how to stop the cycle so you can feel calmer and more in control.

19/11/2025

If you’ve spent most of your life putting everyone else first, this is your reminder that you’re allowed to choose yourself first. 💛

People pleasing can be a survival strategy that we learn from childhood. It can help us feel safe, accepted, and valued. But as we move closer and closer to the New Year, it’s worth asking: Is it still serving you?

What if giving yourself small moments of care isn’t selfish, but a way of filling your own cup so you can show up better for the people you love?

In case no one told you:
💖 You deserve space to rest and recharge.
💖 You deserve to take up room in your own life.

If you’re ready to make 2026 the year you stop abandoning yourself, start small with these micro habits!

18/11/2025

One tool of mindfulness that can cut through our numbing trance is inquiry. As we ask ourselves questions about our experience, our attention gets engaged. We might begin by scanning our body, noticing what we are feeling, especially in the throat, chest, abdomen, and stomach, and then asking, “What wants my attention right now?” or “What is asking for acceptance?” Then we attend, with genuine interest and care, listening to our heart, body, and mind.

17/11/2025

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12/11/2025

At 12:00 pm on Friday 14th November, participate in a 15-minute silent “lie-down” or stand-still, wherever you are (office, home, public space) to honour the ***15 women murdered daily in South Africa.***

Wear black as a symbol of mourning and resistance.

Change your social-media profile picture to purple to show solidarity and make the shutdown visible online.

Share and spread the campaign widely to amplify the message.

11/11/2025

People pleasing.
This is the one that unlocked a new level of understanding for me, and how I learned about my own areas of emotional unavailability.

I NEVER thought I was emotionally unavailable, despite often finding myself in relationships with or pursuing emotionally unavailable people. After all, I felt my feelings strongly and I was very attuned to other people’s emotions, so that must mean I was available, right?

What I’ve slowly learned is that by downplaying my own needs and feelings in order to hold space for and meet the needs of everyone else, I wasn’t being honest with myself OR them.

I wasn’t actually letting people see me.
I was controlling the narrative, and would often end up being passive aggressive later on down the line because I hadn’t been open about what was working for me throughout the relationship. Sometimes I didn’t even know, because I was so desperate to be accepted that I was just trying to be who I thought they wanted me to be.

Emotional availability is being present to your feelings and needs and being willing to share them, and allowing the other person to have their own feelings and responses to your needs. It’s vulnerable bc we’re never sure what’s going to happen.

And of course, we people-please for a reason.
I didn’t do this on purpose; it was what I was raised to do in my family system because many parts of me were shamed early on, so I developed the ability to hide them.
I still sometimes have to fight the urge to downplay my own needs and to actually speak up when my feelings might inconvenience someone.

But I see it now.

Hiding your actual needs and feelings doesn’t allow other people to see the real you. They don’t get to know the real you or hold space for the real you. They don’t get the privilege of helping you when you need it, or get to show deeper sides of their personality if they’re only ever responding to one aspect of yours.

In case you missed it, The EQ School can send daily texts to your phone — which is great if you’re trying to spend less time on social media but still want reminders that help you check in with yourself, and to remind you of why you’re doing the work.
https://hdly.me/theeqschool

09/11/2025

Discover how your earliest relationships with parents and friends influence your adult attachment style. Based on a 30 year study.

Explore a wealth of resources tailored to enhance your well-being, offering practical insights, and evidence-based strategies.

07/11/2025