04/04/2026
A few years ago, I walked into the hospital parking lot at exactly 10:00 PM. It had been one of those 24hr shifts where this is the first break I took. A shift where the cases weren't just files on a desk; they were heartbreaks. We had spent the day holding space for people in their darkest moments, navigating the thin, complex line between life and death, all while trying to remain the "composed experts" the world expects us to be. I felt like a fraud. I was exhausted, my mind was a blurred "to-do" list, and I didn't have a single drop of wisdom left to give.
Then, I noticed a senior colleague still sitting in her car. She looked exactly how I felt: shoulders slumped, gaze fixed on nothing. She rolled down her window and whispered, "I’ve been sitting here for twenty minutes because I’m too tired to even turn the key. Today was heavy, wasn't it?"
I stood there in total shock. Because thats my senior and I had to ask myself, what can I say? Then, she let out a laugh....that tired, relieved, soul-deep laugh that only comes when you’ve reached your limit. She got out, sat on the curb, and patted the ground: "Come join me." This again was a shock to me...
As we sat there in the dark, she didn't give me a lecture on resilience. She didn't quote a textbook. She simply admitted, "I thought I was the only one drowning today. I thought maybe I wasn't cut out for this." In that silence, the "Doctor" titles vanished. We weren't experts; we were just two humans realizing that the weight we carry is real.
Paying the Reminder Forward
Over the years, we drifted into different circles, but whenever our paths crossed...or whenever I felt that familiar heaviness, I would send her a text. Just a few words to remind her, and myself, that it’s okay to be human. She passed away recently, and I am sharing the gift she gave me on that curb.
To all, including colleagues, students, and friends: Please, take a break.
You are not a machine. Expertise does not make you immune to exhaustion.
The "Key" can wait. If you are too tired to turn it, sit on the curb.
Silence the inner critic. Feeling overwhelmed isn't a sign that you aren't "cut out for this." It's a sign that you still care.
We spend our lives caring for the nervous systems of others, often at the expense of our own. Stop apologizing for being tired. Stop pretending the weight isn't there. Sit down, take a breath, and remember: You are human first. Everything else comes second.
