17/11/2019
The concept behind engagement from the African perspective and what is currently looming society.
As an African child I was raised to believe that engaging a woman is a process that requires a full consent of both parents and this is basically after formal contacts have been met and both parents are in agreement of what is to become a couple. Hence there is setting up of functions and publicizing of those to give each other commitment rings!
I look at this as a whole process of the so called engagement. Unlike what is making waves on social platform where before the involvement of parents or parental consent you see people splashing parties and rings as to we are engaged. A quick check up of this process with cultural distinct reveals that when man decides to go further and engage a woman his been seeing, a group of elders make a quick background check of the family a man will be marrying from, same as the woman's family do.
This is to make sure that quality assessment is done before agreeing to these contracts. Our parents in doing so, they need to make sure that no stone is left unchecked and those that have allowed this process to take place, end up getting the best council to guide them through a process of marriage.
What is surprising in the modern times you find boyfriend and girlfriend after a good s*xual encounter, buy rings and call friends to attend an engagement party. My question is do these really know what engagement is? Who authenticates this same engagement? Does it mean engagement process has lost its value?
Well the increase in divorce cases recently recorded is having these games amidst the process of marriage. People rush into marriage thinking its all about s*x and making out. Less they forget to say marriage goes beyond s*x. Allowing elderly people to get involved in the whole process, helps those getting into marriage get a good transition that in turn becomes a fundamental pillar to guide and strengthen them. Marriage is full of obstacles and without guide, people tend to tire out.
Let's stop attaching s*xual jokes to what is supposed to have serious attachments. S*x fades in marriage what keeps people going is commitment/respect and love for one another that goes beyond s*x.
Others engagement and commit to marriage with instant expectations, marriage is not a project that has time bound and limited resources attached to it. Its a school that comes with different research project every year. Every 365 days has its own syllabus because you get to learn each other everyday. Its a school that has no time frame, its ongoing because no one graduates out of it. Its a school full of tolerance and acceptance of ones mistakes.
Every marriage has its own unique syllabus far different from the other. Never compare one marriage to the other because its a whole different geographical location. What makes one marriage happy can be irrelevant to the other.
Let's have this in mind and allow Jehovah to lead because he is the foundation of a strong marriage. If you apply jokes in the process of marriage, you will reap comedy because your marriage will not last!