12/06/2022
The voyage of self reflection after the end of a Toxic Relationship is awash with pitfalls of self pity, pessimism, futility and unanswered questions lacking any kind of level of closure needed for the brain and heart to function at full operating level.
Not everyone who escapes or terminates a Toxic relationship develops the capacity afterwards to hold themselves accountable for their role in the Dynamic that had created the negative environment within which the Relationship had been formed.
Herein lies the trauma bond cycle of Domestic Abuse and Toxic Relationships through learned behaviours.
Without taking the time to heal from any Intimate Relationship regardless of its toxicity or levels of abusive behaviours relinquishes any opportunity for your heart, soul and mind to revert to the original version of you that hadn't developed some level of codependency based on the intimacy with the previous partner
There is almost always a certain adaptation and mood regulation conscious or not based upon your partner.
Be that lifting them when they are down or suppressing your good mood around them while they are in a bad mood so you don't feel guilty having the capacity to be in a good mood while they are not.
The human mind subconsciously adapts learned behaviours from those close to us as a show of affinity and connection so these learned behaviours embed themselves in our approach to intimate relationships.
While you may not have considered them to be negative in their original setting and in fact normal by perception this can create an instant cyclical pattern of behaviours resulting in returning to Ground Zero with a new partner in a similar toxic environment although some of the roles will be reversed as learned behaviours previously perceived to be normal and acceptable return
As the pendulum swings one way to the oppressed, the oppressors prepare to be oppressed and the trauma cycle continues.
Without taking time to disconnect from intimacy completely we do not allow our own core values of what makes a healthy relationship to become priority we merely focus on finding someone who shows the exact opposite character traits of the Toxic Partner.
