02/12/2025
Mercury retrograde is over. Do you feel lighter? I feel I am being strongly affected by the full moon coming up this Thursday🌕
For me November and this Mercury retrograde was about physical purge. Coming deeper into my body. I had a flue or a virus at the beginning of last month that I felt deep in all my muscles. UTI doesn’t leave my body for months, I think I drank so much cranberry it will soon become my master plant. For almost a month now I am struggling with back pain. My sacral and root chakras are begging me to ground, to come Home🏡 into the body.
What was I working on this month? The believe and trust in my inner power center, my deepest Self. The I AM. The proud presence in my body, the absolute feeling of safety.
Am I there ? No. Am I getting there? Yes. My physical body is grieving. It’s lonely. As I keep abandoning it, falling into old programs, defending myself from the world, feeling unsafe. Not accepting my anger. Not accepting ALL parts of me.
Truth is I am a grown up, I am 38 and I grew into someone who would have protected me as a kid. Truth is I have married into the kindest safest man on the planet, who patiently keeps holding space for me as I unwind. I am living in a safe country that I chose, I am surrounded by safe friends, I have a safe job.
So what makes me feel unsafe ? It’s me I guess. My old programs and patterns. Feeling unsafe is familiar. I practiced it for 3 decades. So what I am going to do about it ? Write a new program.
I am already Here, I am safe, I arrived, I unf**ked myself! I just need to learn to use the new program. So once universe presents me with an old program/challenge/ opportunity I need to react differently. Basically it’s like learning to drive on the opposite side of the road, I already know how to do it in theory, I just need to practice. To build up new neuron pathways. And while I am doing it I need to be kind and gentle to myself. To respect myself. After all, I am the first one in my family to do it❤️❤️❤️