23/03/2020
Five steps to alleviating anxiety
(In the time of global uncertainty)
I woke up this morning and realized that I have been on fire fighting mode for a few days now, more or less repeating same words of comfort, ideas and strategies to people who were struggling with anxiety and worry. I then thought of sharing those ideas with a larger audience, in the hope that they will be helpful.
No doubt this is a time of mixed emotions, uncertainty and dramatic change in daily habits and routines. A perfect recipe for anxiety. Friends, family and clients share feelings of a little excitement but also fear, worry and a general ambivalence towards what should and can be done.
There are different reasons why we might be feeling anxious, some of the reasons are legitimate and healthy, after all, without a degree of anxiety how can we be diligent, careful and disciplined in taking care of ourselves and others. However, other reasons revolve around our perceived loss of control.
Thus the over consumption and sharing of news...also the panic buying…
This takes us to the important distinction of what we can control, what we can influence and what we have no control over. Once you determine that something is out of your control and influence, there is no need for that issue to take up mind space. You are better off focusing on what you have control or influence over.
Step 1: Identify issues that you have control and influence over
Once you have zoned in on what you have control and influence on, make a practical plan of how you will exercise your control and influence. For example, I will self isolate, I will work from home, I will create awareness around me, I will use online classes for my workout, etc.… now that you have a plan and means to implement it, there is practically nothing more you can mentally do.
Step 2: Create a basic plan for issues within your control and influence and remember, “You are responsible for the pursuit not the outcome.”
Let’s move on to softer and more complex territory…your feelings
People tend to say “I am anxious”, but anxiety is an umbrella under which we find a variety of uncomfortable feelings such as anger, frustration, boredom, restlessness, worry and fear are hiding.
The first course of action when we talk about feelings is to identify them and label them. We need to be able to take a close look at our anxiety and find out what else is there…to be able to say
“I am experiencing tiredness at the moment” “I am experiencing fear” “I am experiencing boredom” and so on.
We have been programmed to avoid those uncomfortable feelings at all cost. But if you take a good look, it’s not all that bad…. they are just feelings in the wide range of human emotions we are equipped to experience. The wider the range of emotions we can experience and contain, the more mature we become and capable…
Step 3: Identify and label emotions
And then what?
Sit with it?
What?
You heard it right. Take a seat, acknowledge the feeling you are experiencing, and allow it to present itself in full.
Then...
Feel it in your body…
where do you feel it?
Often times, people describe discomfort or constriction in their stomach or chest. Wherever you feel the discomfort, focus on it…inhale and direct the breath to the point of discomfort, very gently and with no tension whatsoever. As you breathe into your “pain” use your imagination to see the constriction and to ease it by creating space around it…like airing it out…the more vivid you can imagine this spacing…the more relief will seep in…rather than resisting uncomfortable feelings, we are inviting them in, containing them…and by containing them we assert their transient nature and our constancy…we are constant like a mountain and feelings are transient like clouds.
There is no need to resist, invalidate or suppress emotion…be compassionate with yourself and make space for your experience.
Step 4: Sit with your emotions
Now that we have gone through mentally and emotionally helping ourselves…we are left with taking care of our bodies and our senses.
I will not get into details as surely I am not an expert on nutrition or sports. However, I will ask you, to wake up and open your windows every morning. To get sun if it’s shining where you are, listen to your favorite music, make your favorite coffee and savor it till the very last sip. Write, draw, workout and meditate over the aroma, texture and taste of that piece of chocolate (or raisinJ).
Step 5: Take care of your body
It is often difficult to come face to face with our own self, we have become so accustomed to plans and structure, to productivity and predictability, to doing and to distraction J, that when all of this melts away and we find ourselves just being, just existing, it’s overwhelming. It can be, if we let it, but it’s more helpful to use this opportunity to befriend ourselves, to get to know the “me” that was kept in check when all deadlines had to be met. The journey of Introspection and self-reflection is the most exhilarating and rewarding journey one can take in the comfort of their own living room.
Stay safe, stay open, stay warm and say well
Roh Hafez, MA
Psychotherapist
Emotion & Relationship Specialist
