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Abeer Khiami - Mental Coach, Ras al-Khaimah (2025)

12/09/2025

The Inner Game of Burden and Escape

Many people today live with a quiet struggle inside. They feel noise in the mind, no serenity in the heart. Success seems far away, health feels fragile, and the material world does not flow. On the surface, these challenges look separate — money, relationships, body, peace. But if we look deeper, they all spring from one inner game, the same one revealed in the Family Constellation.

In that constellation, the woman stood heavy with burdens that were never meant to be hers alone. She carried too much, while the man refused to carry anything. His idea of freedom was escape. Her way of life was exhaustion. And so they stood, disconnected — one swollen with weight, the other empty of responsibility.

This is the same game many play inside. One part of us holds all the pain, the memories, the responsibilities. Another part of us runs away, pretending to be free, avoiding life. We think that if we carry everything, we will finally be safe. Or that if we escape it all, we will finally be free. Both are illusions. Both create imbalance.

The result? Noise instead of peace. Lack instead of flow. Illness instead of vitality. Failed relationships instead of union.

The solution is not to carry it all, and not to run from it all. The solution is to return to truth. To remember divinity within. To see that freedom is not escape — freedom is the strength to live in balance. Freedom is when the inner masculine says to the inner feminine: “I see you. I will not abandon you. I will hold space for you.” And the inner feminine, finally acknowledged, softens and stops carrying what is not hers alone.

When this balance happens inside, the outside world shifts. Serenity arrives because the noise quiets. Health improves because the body no longer holds invisible weight. Material life flows because energy is not blocked by struggle. Relationships heal because union is possible within.

And for those who believe marriage or companionship is only pain, the message is the same: the pain is not in love itself, but in the imbalance of this inner game. When you come back to divinity, to the truth within, you stop expecting one side to carry all or the other to escape all. Love is no longer burden or avoidance. It becomes the space where both stand together, free and responsible, strong and soft.

This is the way out of the inner struggle. Not carrying. Not running. But remembering: freedom is returning to the divine truth of who we are.

09/09/2025

The Illusion of Over-Tolerating

We often mistake endless toleration for virtue. We carry responsibilities, silence our needs, and believe that enduring more makes us noble or heroic. But in truth, over tolerating blinds us to ourselves, to the wisdom of life, and to the freedom of living authentically.

One day, the weight breaks us. What felt honorable becomes a wound. We regret, we question, we slip into the role of the victim, forgetting that every toleration was a choice often a choice made from an outdated consciousness that no longer fits who we are now.

The way forward is not more endurance, but reflection. It is letting go of ego, of anger, of the illusion of control. It is learning that flexibility and presence free us far more than rigidity ever could.

Do not over-tolerate and call it life. Living fully begins where truth, softness, and presence replace the heavy cloak of endurance.

08/09/2025

The Two Faces of Control in Motherhood

Control is not the highest quality for a woman to hold, yet many mothers carry it. What makes the difference is not control itself, but the energy behind it.

One mother uses control through ego, holding tightly to rules and dominance, disconnected from warmth. Her life is woven with drama and resentment, and her children often grow to resist her not because she controls, but because they cannot feel her heart within it.

Another mother carries control as well, yet her spirit is free of ego. Her guidance flows from love, care, and protection. Her children sense her presence, her feeling, and her devotion. In time, they do not see her as controlling, but as everything their source of safety and love.

So it is not control alone that defines a mother, but the soul within it.

Control with ego breeds distance, but control with love builds devotion. Children don’t resist guidance, they resist the absence of heart behind it.

27/08/2025

Awakening to the Feminine Within

I am seeing this a lot in my sessions nowadays .
So many struggles outside
in relationships, in work, in health which are reflections of something unbalanced inside.

Society has forgotten…
Too often a woman is taken for granted.
She is expected to give, and give, and give
before she is honored, before she is seen.

And so, imbalance grows.
Inside us, disharmony.
Outside us, it shows.

But pause…
Before fixing the outside, reflect within.

How much do you respect the feminine in you?
You were born of both man and woman.
Both live within you.
Do you honor her?
Do you thank her?
Do you see her through eyes of kindness?

If not yet,
perhaps your struggles are the universe calling you to awaken.
To forgive yourself.
To soften.
To respect.
To honor.
To be kind.

Respect the feminine.
Inside you.
Around you.
For in her, God placed mercy, balance, and life itself.

26/08/2025

🌿 Freeing Ourselves from Old Commitments (money or love)🌿

Sometimes, it’s not the present commitments that weigh us down, but the old ones we keep carrying in our hearts.
Unfinished promises, unhealed wounds, or the burden of “what should have been” can quietly drain our energy, leaving little space for new commitments, whether in love or in money.

The truth is, holding on doesn’t serve us. Forgiveness does.
To free yourself:
✨ Sit quietly with yourself.
✨ Acknowledge the commitments that still live in your mind.
✨ Breathe, forgive, and gently release them.
✨ Shift your perspective…commitment is not a chain, it’s a conscious choice we make with love and clarity.

When we let go of the old, we create room for fresh energy, new opportunities, and deeper connections. Your freedom begins the moment you decide not to carry what no longer belongs to you.

16/08/2025

Healing the Masculine & Feminine Within

The feminine whispers: “Why do you reject me, when I carry life, joy, softness, play, compassion, and so much more?”
The masculine replies: “It’s a man’s world.”

How sad that this belief has traveled through our ancestors, our parents, our DNA — teaching men to reject the feminine.

But isn’t it time to end this inheritance?
To honor both within us — the feminine and the masculine.
To see the value in each aspect of ourselves.
To finally understand that no one is higher, and no one is lesser.

✨ True wholeness begins when we embrace both.

15/08/2025

Relationship/t
Relationships are strange alchemy. Two people meet, might fall in love or not, but they decide to marry. And then… they start unpacking their baggage. Every old wound, every betrayal, every unresolved pain—from past lovers, from parents, from childhood—finds its way into the relationship. Suddenly, the love they built feels heavy, crowded, messy.

Often, she reaches a point where she simply wants rest, space from the whirlwind of responsibilities. But most women are the ones who chose to take on the burden of children. Once they have them, the weight can feel unbearable, the responsibility too much, and the escape seems necessary. Meanwhile, the man absorbs the responsibility, part of him going numb, and the heart of the relationship quietly suffers.

We treat relations like a garbage bin, then wonder why it stinks. We fill it with drama, old scars, and unhealed fears, and then judge it for being “broken.”

A real relationship isn’t a trash heap—it’s a mirror. And the reflection only gets heavy if we refuse to unpack our own past before stepping in.

11/08/2025

True Freedom Starts Within

I’m tired of social media videos telling us that deleting people from our lives leads to happiness. That perspective misses something deeper. Life, by its nature, is responsibility. Removing someone doesn’t lighten your load emotions do.

Real freedom isn’t about the number of people around you. It’s about confronting and healing your internal world. Rather than focusing on who to cut loose, turn inward: cultivate self-awareness, process your emotions, and heal the stories you carry. You’ll discover that peace and lightness come from within not from editing your social circle.

11/08/2025

From defense to awareness
Fawn, Fight, Flight, Freeze — Understanding the Four Responses

Across what I have seen in life, people’s ways of reacting often depend on their age and stage of life. Many begin with fawn — seeking approval and trying to please to feel safe. Later, they may turn to fight — meeting challenges with resistance or control. Then comes flight — escaping from what feels too hard to face. And for some, it ends with freeze — becoming stuck, unable to move forward.
• Fawn — trying to stay safe by pleasing others, avoiding their anger or rejection.
• Fight — meeting a threat with resistance, pushing back, or trying to take control.
• Flight — escaping the situation, whether by running away physically or withdrawing emotionally.
• Freeze — shutting down, feeling paralyzed, and unable to act.

These are not weaknesses. They are the survival tools our inner child created to protect us. But if we keep living only from them, life can become complicated and small.

Real growth begins when we listen to that inner child, understand the fear behind each reaction, and choose our responses from awareness, compassion, and strength.

03/08/2025

Tolerance vs. Tune-Out: A Look at Our Coping Styles

It seems that for many of us in this generation, tolerance was the coping mechanism we unconsciously inherited. We learned to endure, to absorb, to stay put in discomfort thinking that patience or silence would somehow fix things. We became good at holding it in, even when it hurt.

And now, looking at this new generation these children of the “new age” their mechanism is different. It’s not endurance. It’s disengagement. Absent-mindedness. A way of floating above the chaos rather than sitting in it.

Neither path is right or wrong. Neither is a badge of honor or a flaw. They’re both just survival tools, developed when we didn’t know what else to do. We didn’t know how to digest pain, so we either carried it or avoided it.

But maybe now with more awareness, more healing work we can start to learn a third way. A way that doesn’t require us to disappear or suppress. A way to feel, to process, and to transform.

That’s the work of our time.

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29/07/2025

Not the End, But the Becoming

A reflection on how endings are never final, they’re the shape
shifting of the soul

When we die,
we die and it is sacred.
An ending, yes.
But not the end.

For after death,
there is life
perhaps not the same,
perhaps not as we knew it
but life, still.
A different kind of breath.
A different kind of being.

Death is not a wall.
It is a door.
And on the other side,
something waits to be lived.

The soul doesn’t vanish.
It transforms,
rises,
moves into what’s next
a place of return, of rest,
or maybe paradise.

To die is to be taken
somewhere else.
And to revive that death
is to honor it
to walk through it awake,
and come out
as someone new

Abeer Khiami - Mental Coach

12/09/2025

09/09/2025

08/09/2025

27/08/2025

26/08/2025

16/08/2025

15/08/2025

11/08/2025

11/08/2025

03/08/2025

29/07/2025

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