Psychotherapy Vienna- Mag. Elena Padurariu

13/03/2026

Many professionals feel constantly under time pressure.
In conversations about stress at work, one observation comes up surprisingly often: people schedule meetings with everyone else, and leave very little time for their own priorities.
Their calendars are full, and the day often feels reactive because it is filled with meetings, incoming emails, requests, and urgent matters rather than deliberate choices of time spent on the assignments specific to their roles.
Over time, this can lower our sense of agency over how we spend our time and also our work satisfaction.

One change that can significantly influence both productivity and mental well-being is becoming more intentional about how we design our calendar.

Most people tell me they have only around 20-30% control over their schedules, and the rest is decided by others. But when people begin to observe their planning habits more carefully, a few interesting patterns tend to emerge.

📅 Many realize that they regularly underestimate how long tasks will take. As meetings expand, the day becomes filled with back-to-back commitments, and any unplanned event creates a sense of anxiety or panic.
📅 Others notice that the breaks they intended to take disappear, replaced by “just finishing one more thing” until the day becomes exhausting in the end.
📅 They plan time inefficiently, using their high focus intervals of time for activities that don't require strong focus, and the other way around, planning difficult tasks at times when focus is already depleted.

These patterns are often invisible until we deliberately step back and look at them. But once they become visible, something important changes.

✅ People begin to make more realistic time estimates for their work activities.
✅ With a more realistic time estimate, they take a more informed decision about accepting or refusing extra tasks.
✅ They start "protecting" their focus time for deep work, so it becomes easier to focus on one task at a time and be more efficient.
✅ They take more breaks, so when the day ends, they still have some energy left for their families.
✅ And perhaps most importantly, they regain a stronger sense that they are actively shaping their day rather than constantly reacting to it.

Small adjustments in how we plan our time can therefore influence more than productivity. They can strengthen our sense of control, reduce daily stress, and help us use our energy more intentionally.
I’m curious:
If you looked at your calendar from the past week, what patterns would you observe first?

# TimeManagement

28/02/2026

A dream came true.

12/02/2026

💖 Celebrate a Week of Love 💖
Sometimes love is not only about flowers and chocolate. It is about creating space for honest and difficult conversations.
As a couples therapist, it is my privilege to guide you in having those conversations with empathy, respect, and understanding.
This Valentine’s season, for the first time, I’m offering 20% off your first Couples Therapy Session as a way to support couples who are ready to invest in their relationship.
Until 19 February, use the code Iloveyou to surprise your partner with 20% off a First Couples Therapy Session! The code is valid for one use per customer.
If you feel ready, book here: https://wix.to/wOthPDo

10/02/2026

"As long as the men were angry, they were safe."

Yesterday, I revisited the opening chapter of Steinbeck’s The Grapes of Wrath. After the dust storms destroyed the corn, the women and children didn't look at the ruins of the crop. They looked at the faces of the men to see if they would break.
Steinbeck observed something profound more than 80 years ago: Anger was a sign of life. It was a sign of mobilization. The real danger—the moment the families began to wonder if they would survive—was when the men became silent and defeated.

As a psychotherapist working with the expat community here in Vienna, this scene hit home.

Moving to a new country often means losing our "crops"—our familiar support systems, professional contexts, and the ease of a shared language. When the "dust storms" of transition, career stress, or isolation hit, our families and our own inner selves are watching to see: Will we survive this?

In my latest blog post, I dive into why "resilience" isn't just a mindset, but a biological state of the autonomic nervous system.

We often think we are "acting upon" our environment, but my work is to help you realize how your environment and your biology are acting upon you. By understanding these states, you transition from a "victim" of the transition to an active operator of your own nervous system.

Don't stand "in the dust" alone. Learn how to rewrite your struggle story into one of strength and resilience.

Read the full article here: https://www.padurariu.at/post/standing-in-the-dust-what-a-classic-novel-teaches-us-about-expat-resilience-in-vienna

Yesterday, I revisited the opening chapter of John Steinbeck’s The Grapes of Wrath. There is a beautiful scene where, after the corn is destroyed by the dust, the women and children watch the men. They aren't looking at the ruins of the crop; they are looking at the faces of the men to see if they...

05/11/2025

When Work Stress Comes Home: The Subtle Impact on Our Relationships

After a long workday, do you ever find yourself saying:
“I’m too tired to talk.”
“Everything’s getting on my nerves.”
“Not tonight — I just need space to rest.”
If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. As a therapist, I hear versions of this every week.

What I noticed is that many people bring home more than a salary. They bring tension, irritability, bad mood, and emotional exhaustion. Often, without realizing how much their mental state is impacting their relationships, that this is not "the normal".

In "The Burnout Challenge", Christina Maslach and Michael Leiter describe burnout as a misalignment between people and their workplace — not a personal failure. When one or more of these mismatches exist, individuals are at higher risk of emotional exhaustion, cynicism, and a sense of ineffectiveness.
All these start showing up differently in our private lives:

We are less present
We have less patience
We feel less connected
We are less capable of planning our lives outside work.

And often, the people we love feel it the most.

The effect is that ...
- Conversations turn easily into conflicts because nobody has the patience to be nice
- Intimacy is postponed, so what was once a way to connect with the partner becomes a fight for attention and affection
- We zone out instead of reaching out. Our energy level can only deal with engaging with the mobile phone or with the TV, rather than with a partner.
- Routine becomes work and rest, with little energy for more than that.

Stress and burnout don’t just affect how we feel. It changes how we relate to others. And when we have to deal with its effects, it becomes a continuous drain of energy.

So What Can You Do?

💭 Often, I invite my clients to look at the big picture: to reflect on how much they value work and the importance they want to give to work in their lives. Put on paper the trade-offs of giving all your energy to work first, and see if there is anything you want to change.

On a micro level, start small. Consider one of these ideas:
🌿 Transition intentionally and consciously: how much do I want to bring home from my work? What do I need to do for that?
💬 Name what’s happening within you and negotiate a time for recovery before you can engage. Tell your partner, “Work has drained me today, I don’t want that to affect us,” instead of being irritable for apparently no reason.
🧭 Save energy to plan your personal and intimate life and to prioritize all those things that make you feel happy and alive, instead of leaving it all to what is left over after work.

You don’t need to fix everything overnight. Bringing more self-reflection into your life and establishing what is most valuable to you is the first step toward a better quality of life, at work and at home.

24/09/2025

Role clarity: the silent stressor at work

One of the most common challenges I hear from clients dealing with workplace stress is not knowing what’s expected of them and what the priorities are.
Role clarity is a key predictor of job satisfaction, performance, and emotional well-being. And yet, in fast-moving workplaces, roles can easily become blurry.

Lack of role clarity often looks like:
“What should I focus on first?”
“How is my performance being measured?”
“Am I doing enough?”
“How does my work actually impact the bigger picture?”

When these questions stay unanswered, people tend to overwork, overcompensate, and eventually burn out.

👉 Clarity is empowerment. When employees understand their role, they don’t just perform better—they feel better. They experience more purpose, confidence, and psychological safety at work.

💡 A few ways to promote role clarity:

✅ For Employees:
- Ask questions early and often: What are my top three priorities this quarter? How is success measured? How does this task contribute to broader goals?
- Seek regular feedback. Use check-ins to ask, “Am I on the right track?” or “Is there anything you would like me to focus on more?”
- Track responsibilities: Keep a living document of your role expectations, responsibilities, and deadlines. When new tasks are added, revisit and renegotiate.

✅ For Managers:
- Build clarity into onboarding: Use the onboarding period to clarify expectations, values, and how the role connects to company goals.
- Hold regular alignment conversations: don't wait for performance reviews. Use weekly or monthly check-ins to ensure mutual understanding.
- Acknowledge role drift: When teams merge or departments restructure, proactively redefine who is doing what.
- Model transparency: share your own priorities, trade-offs, and workload with your team. This normalizes open dialogue around capacity and expectations.

Helping people define their roles clearly isn't just about productivity—it’s about protecting mental health.
🌀 As a therapist supporting professionals in high-pressure environments, I’ve seen how empowering clarity can be.

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11/09/2025

The Art of drawing a line: protecting your time and energy in remote work

We often talk about “drawing a line” between work and life.
But in remote work, that line it's not clearly drawn for us—we need to create it ourselves.
Without the physical separation of leaving an office, work can quietly spill into evenings, weekends, and even family time. Add in a big project or a pressing deadline, and suddenly every day feels like one long workday.

Although we may all, from time to time, need to work extra hours, making this a regular occurrence can increase our chances of burning out.

The reality is:
We can’t just press a button to “turn off work", although we wish we could.
But we can create rituals that signal the transition from work to life.

To stop the spillover effects of work, we need to consider all three levels: physical, mental, and emotional.

Physical
- If you can, set up a separate office space and leave your laptop/phone in there at the end of the day.
- If space is limited, even just putting work tools out of sight makes a difference.
- A walk, bike ride, or quick trip outside creates a boundary. (My dog makes sure I never skip this step 🐾).
- Changing the work outfit to a comfy one can help signal that we have entered the relaxation zone.

Mental
- Write down tasks, notes, or ideas for tomorrow before logging off. This will make the beginning of the next workday easier.
- Declutter your mind from everything you don’t need to think about until the next work day.

Emotional
- Keep work conversations (especially those loaded with negative emotions) at home to a minimum. Venting helps occasionally, but constant talk about work problems keeps you stuck in it.
- Journaling can be a healthier outlet for processing stress.
- Learn to celebrate small successes, as this will bring positive energy.
- And most importantly—do what brings you joy outside work: play with your kids, cook, listen to music, or read.

The takeaway:
Remote work gives us freedom, but also blurs the line between work and life. The more conscious we are of the spillover effect, the more intentional we must be in creating rituals that protect our time, energy, and joy.
WorkLifeBalance

26/08/2025

⏰ Burnout prevention starts in the morning: The power of a Wind-Up routine

Just as every piece of music begins with a note that sets the tone, every day starts with choices that influence our experience.

Our routines have a bigger impact on our energy and well-being than we often realize. Research shows that consistent routines help us better cope with anxiety and stress, and this matters for burnout prevention.
Think about the difference between:
- Starting your day in a rush, already feeling behind
vs.
- Starting your day with even a few minutes for yourself, grounded and intentional about what you are about to do.
The contrast is huge.

A morning “wind-up” routine sets the rhythm for your whole day.
It doesn’t need to take an hour. Even five minutes can change your emotional state, boost focus, and help you feel more in control.

Most importantly, it’s about giving to yourself before giving to anyone else. And this counts for the relationship to yourself.

Thinking back at my own practice, I’ll admit, in the beginning, it was hard to set time aside. With small children, mornings felt rushed and unpredictable. But as my responsibilities grew, so did the need to care for my own energy, focus, and mental clarity.
I started small — just 10 minutes of breathwork or meditation. Over time, it grew into a one-hour morning ritual that prepares both my mind and body for the day.
And I’ve noticed something important: the more stress I have, the more this routine counts for my well-being.

💡 Ideas for a Wind-Up routine:
Everyone’s routine will look different. For some, it may be:
- Preparing a plan for the day
- Meditation or breathwork
- Jogging or stretching
- A mindful coffee or tea ritual
- Simply sitting quietly and envisioning the day to come.
The key is to experiment, notice what gives you the biggest return in energy, and then keep showing up for yourself.

Main takeaway?
Burnout prevention starts in these small daily choices. The way we start is often the way we continue.
🤔 What’s one small morning habit that helps you feel grounded and energized?
And if you don’t have one yet — what’s something you’d like to try?

18/08/2025

What if burnout isn't just about work? What if it's about self-esteem?

In therapy, I rarely see burnout as the simple result of too many tasks given by the manager.
Instead, I see people who:
Can’t trust themselves to set boundaries
Strive for perfection, punishing themselves when they fall short
Rely on external validation to feel worthy

That made me ask myself:
What if burnout is less about how much we do, and more about how we measure our worth?
In my latest blog, I wrote about the strong connection between burnout and self-esteem. I am curious if this relates to you, too.
You can read the full article here and give your comment: https://www.padurariu.at/post/what-if-burnout-isn-t-just-about-work-what-if-it-s-about-self-esteem

As a therapist, I rarely see burnout as a simple result of an increasing workload.That’s a one-sided perspective that leaves out the power of the person experiencing it. As if we have no agency in how much we take on.In my work, I meet people who: • Don’t trust themselves to set boundaries aro...

04/08/2025

What is the first step in fighting burnout?

Consistent stress awareness!
A daily record of stressors can serve as a valuable tool in learning to cope with stress.
It helps us:
Identify the main stressors we have in our daily life.
We learn about our typical reactions to stress.
Develop a plan for reducing stress, both short-term and long-term.

But let’s be honest: When you're already overwhelmed with work, family, deadlines, and responsibilities, keeping a log might feel like “just another task.”
Yet the time you invest in tuning in to yourself is far less than the time you'll spend recovering if you continue to ignore the signs your body is giving you.

To improve our stress awareness, we can start with four small but powerful steps:
1. Schedule emotional check-ins with yourself.
Pause at least 2–3 times a day—morning, midday, and evening—and ask:
• How am I feeling emotionally?
• What’s happening in my body?
• What kind of thoughts am I having?

2. Connect emotions to context.
Are you anxious before a meeting? Frustrated with a colleague? Depleted from poor sleep?
Understanding the why helps reduce overwhelm and gives you the information for what you might need. Rest? Say no to a new project? Delegate?

3. Choose a small rebalancing action.
It could be a deep breath, a body stretch, a short break, or something more strategic, like setting a boundary or asking for support.
Small resets help now. Bigger changes help in the long run.

4. Spot the patterns.
Over time, your check-ins will reveal common “hot spots.”
Who or what drains your energy?
What can you change, or how can you respond differently?

In time, as you become more aware of your stressors, you will learn to deal with them more effectively, increasing the sense of control over your well-being.

What’s one small way you’re checking in with yourself today?

16/07/2025

Are you feeling overwhelmed by just going through the day? Like a fish in water, we often don't notice our own stress. Dive into my latest blog to learn how to identify and approach burnout. Read more: https://www.padurariu.at/post/are-you-a-fish-in-water-how-to-think-about-burnout

A fish doesn’t know it’s in water because water is its normal environment. In the same way, people under chronic stress often don’t realize they’re stressed. The stress becomes their “normal.”Until being generally tired and stressed turns into exhaustion that is overwhelming. People star...

23/06/2025

In every relationship, it's normal to go through ups and downs. However, after a while, we get caught up in what bothers us rather than cherishing what we love.
Check out my latest blog on recognizing the positives in our partners and enhancing our relationships:

The more I work with couples, the more I notice a similar pattern.At the beginning of a relationship, we often see our partner’s best qualities: their planning skills, their generosity, or maybe their willingness to help others. But over time, especially under stress or during conflict, we begin t...