Billows Psychology

18/04/2026

Nobody sat you down and told you it was your fault.

They just never told you it wasn't.

Helen Billows on what silence teaches a child, and what a simple conversation can rewrite.

Link in bio.

11/04/2026

If you've ever wondered what you absorbed growing up, and what you might be passing on without meaning to, this one's for you.

Link in bio to listen to the latest episode of The Trauma Nerd Podcast.

04/04/2026

If you've ever understood something clearly and still felt like it wasn't true — this is the episode that explains why.

Link in bio.

28/03/2026

If you've spent your whole life feeling responsible for things you couldn't control, this one's for you.

Link in bio to listen to the latest episode of The Trauma Nerd Podcast.

21/03/2026

If you feel guilty and you're not even sure what for, that's probably a pattern.

In this episode I walk through a tool I use in therapy called the Responsibility Pie. It's a way of working out what proportion of a situation actually belongs to you; based on facts, not on how guilty you feel.

Most people I work with are carrying slices that were never theirs to begin with.

This one's worth a listen if guilt is your default setting.

Link in bio.

10/03/2026

Intentions aren’t the problem, using them to dismiss someone’s hurt is.

You can be a good person and still owe an apology.

If someone’s intentions always override your feelings, that actually doesn't make sense.

I unpack this fully in the latest episode of The Trauma Nerd Podcast. Listen now via the link in my bio!

05/03/2026

Let's be real, most people aren’t TRYING to hurt you.

But when intention becomes the only thing that matters, it can subtly erase our right to our feelings.

In this episode, I unpack why confusing intent with responsibility can become emotionally abusive — even when no one means for it to be.

15/06/2025

02/02/2025

I am the therapist that will get angrier than you about you being mistreated and I’m absolutely 10/10 ok with that ☺️☺️☺️☺️

It’s very common for people with trauma histories to have experienced a lot of INVALIDATION. Being told your feelings aren’t okay, aren’t normal, or being treated like THERES SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU.

There’s nothing wrong with you.
I see you.
I understand.
And IM MAD TOO!

05/12/2024

This one’s for the over-apologisers. We see you 🥲🥲

The message these apologies give?

Sorry for existing.
Sorry for being human.
Sorry for taking up space in the world.

All of these things are your entitlements, just by virtue of being alive.

Apologies are for when we do something wrong - when we apologise for being authentic, we betray ourselves.

This pattern is often associated with people pleasing - which is always a trauma response.

03/12/2024

🤣🤣🤣 Emotional invalidation is an excellent way to change sad to angry real quick!

Follow us for more tips on how to lose friends and alienate people 👍😃👍

20/11/2024

Credit to

A beautiful depiction of the very unfortunate reality of trauma - and hardship/adversity in general.

Buddhist ideas of acceptance invite us to observe and accept reality just as it is. These same traditions identify that at times when we reject, fight or resist reality, we increase our suffering. When reality is already bad, fighting that fact does not improve that fact. It simply we means we add a fight onto our already painful experience.

A big part of trauma therapy can involve coming to terms with reality - the facts of what have occurred.

That I went through that.
That happened to me.
That is a fact I cannot change, no matter how much I reject, disagree or disapprove of it.

But what you CAN change, is how you carry and experience this in your present and your future.