03/02/2026
No one really warns you about this part.
Ever found yourself reading a book, taking a bath or doing some kind of ‘self-care’ and still felt:
- agitated
- restless
- emotionally uncomfortable or
- like your mind won’t switch off?
When you first slow down after long periods of stress, stimulation, or being constantly ‘on’, relaxation doesn’t always feel relaxing.
While it’s irritating, from your brain’s perspective, it makes perfect sense.
By running on sustained activation, the brain prioritises output over perceiving input. Sensory signals, internal sensations, emotions, even fatigue are often dampened or overridden so you can keep functioning.
When you finally slow down, all this internal awareness comes back online. The brain starts receiving information it hasn’t had the capacity to process; muscle tension, breath tightness, lingering emotions, deeper fatigue.
This can feel unsettling — not because something is wrong, but because you suddenly become aware of all this ‘new’ information.
This is why initial relaxation attempts sometimes feel worse, not better.
The solution?
Instead of believing “I can’t relax”, try the following to help your nervous system rebuild trust that it’s safe to downshift — without overwhelming it.
1) Create gentle awareness
- Recognise your breathing and heart rate
- Try to release any obvious tension in the body
- Notice lights, sounds and movement in your environment
2) Reduce external stimulation
- Clean up visual clutter
- Soften lights and sounds
- Limit phone notifications
3) Use low-effort practices
- Move the body slowly and softly
- Breathe gently with a longer exhale
- Use the support of the floor or wall
A few moments at a time is a great place to start.
And if slowing down feels harder than speeding up, save this for future reference.
