05/03/2023
💡 Helpful tip for parents: How to say NO without tears!
😠 Is the word ‘no’ a trigger for your child?
Here are some strategies that can be useful:
1. Prepare your child beforehand. For example, before going to the shop, let your child know what they can and can't have. “We’re going to BIG W, we are getting a present for Jack's birthday, but we aren’t getting any other toys today”.
2. Predictability: If you know when your child CAN have what they are asking for, let them know. For example, your child comes home from school and asks for their iPad that they are only allowed to have when their homework is done. Instead of saying ‘no you can’t have the iPad’, try saying ‘Yes, let’s do your homework and then you can play on the iPad’.
3. ‘No means no’: Only say ‘no’ if you are going to remain strong and follow through with your decision. It is really hard to see your child upset, and it’s really hard to stay strong with your decision when your child is screaming and putting the lollies back into your shopping trolley each time you return them to the shelf. However, saying ‘no’ then buying the lollies may teach them you are likely to change your mind if they scream.
4. What CAN they have?: When you say ‘no’, offer an alternative. When they ask to go to the park, but you don’t have the time, say ‘not today, but we can go into the backyard and play together’. By doing this, you are teaching your child that ‘no’ doesn’t mean there is nothing that they can have, and it also teaches them to look for other options when their first choice isn’t available.
5. Catch your child being good: Notice the times that they remain calm after you say ‘no’, or the times that they happily accept the alternative option that you have offered. Thank them for listening, praise them for finding something else to do, give them a high 5 and make a conscious effort to ‘catch them being good’.
Want our help with your child's behaviour? Book in with one of our clinicians today: Ph Westbourne Park Clinic (08) 89110041
Early Start is a national therapy organisation dedicated to helping children and families grow to their full potential. Our evidence-based therapy helps children develop the skills they need for everyday life.